Friday, November 30, 2007

Call Now. Operators are Standing By

Hey, radio copywriters, unless your 800 number is REALLY easy to remember, like 1-800-800-8000, then I don't want to hear it. And I really don't want to hear it three times in a row by some idiot announcer. I'm not writing it down. EVER. Not in the car (which is the only place I listen to the radio), nor even in my tool-shed when I'm an old man and I have a pencil or pen handy as I put the finishing touches on my invention that remotely tortures stupid radio copywriters, leaving no evidence that I was the one who did it. No one remembers your number. If your client is insisting that the phone number be included in the ad, tell them they are stupid and they need to find another writer.

Get a website. And get a URL that is easy to remember, And don't tell me "www" when you mention your URL. Idiots.

And why do all the stupid websites use a customer service stock photo of the beautiful operator who doesn't exist in any call center anywhere in the world?

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  • Amen, amen, amen.

    But I've never seen a stock photo of an operator that's as hot as the one you've posted there.

    By Blogger TexanInHippieland, at November 30, 2007 at 6:32 PM  

  • puh-leaze. I'm beautiful AND I used to work in a call center.


    Otherwise I second the amen.

    By Blogger Thinking In Vain, at November 30, 2007 at 6:37 PM  

  • Looks like Angelina Jolie.....

    By Anonymous dirtsister, at November 30, 2007 at 7:23 PM  

  • But it's so much when they put the 800 number in the dialogue.

    woman 1: ...And it was so easy to get my slimming back fat body countour suit. I just called 1-800-398-2321.

    woman 2: You mean if I call 1-800-398-2321 I can compress my back fat to invisibility with that magic suit?

    woman 1: Oh, yeah. I don't lie about things like back fat. Get a pen and write down this number.

    woman 2: The 1-800-398-2321 number I just recited back to you?

    woman 1: Right. I'll tell you the 1-800-398-2321 number very slowly so you can write it down.

    woman: 1: Okay, I'm ready to write down 1-800-398-2321. Was that the number?

    woman 1: Right 1-800-...

    By Anonymous captain flummox, at November 30, 2007 at 11:01 PM  

  • I'm sure it's got something to do with "direct marketing best practices" - that seems to be the catchall answer for those sort of things that don't seem to make any logical sense.

    That, or a research study someone once did that "proved" that people actually write down phone #s they hear on the radio.

    By Blogger Toad, at December 1, 2007 at 12:16 PM  

  • toad's right.

    three times is the magic number for 1800 numbers. don't know why. at least that's what someone told me. which usually leaves you about 15 seconds for a message. unless the client also demands a call-to-action.

    By Blogger HighJive, at December 1, 2007 at 12:40 PM  

  • Some of those numbers (at least the memorable vanity ones) are my fault. I help companies find memorable vanity numbers, because if your toll free number matches your domain name or company name you don't have to repeat them as much or if you do, they stick with you longer and easier.

    We're actually like the Go Daddy of the phone number business, at Toll Free

    Bill Quimby

    By Blogger 800marketer, at December 20, 2007 at 2:16 AM  

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