Friday, August 25, 2006

Locals Only

Everyone's an advertiser. You've seen the local slogans, like the septic tank cleaner who says "We're #1 in the #2 business." (AHAhahaha!) Or the horrible proliferation of hair salons that try to use witty puns in their names, like "Shear Madness," "Mane Attraction," or "A Cut Above."

At one point in my career I made TV spots for local businesses, many of whom came to the table with their own ideas and their own casts of characters to appear in the spots. Grandchild, dog, wife, self. Always horrible. And always with the same approach of "We're different! We believe in true customer service and fair, honest dealings."

At State Bank, you're not a number, you're a friend.

At Big Al's Chevy GMC Daihatsu, I personally stand behind every vehicle we sell.

So let's be honest, locals. Just once I'd like to see some local business put an honest spin on one of their tired cliche slogans. Like: "When you say 'Jump,' we say 'Look, asshole - We're not your slaves. Are you buying or not?'"

When you say jump, we say - don't tell us what to do, stupid customer.

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