Sunday, June 24, 2007

We're an Airline! And We Have Aeroplanes!

Since I just completed a series of dreadful flights to and from one of the most inaccessible airports in the world, (Austin) I thought I'd dig up some old airline advertising. These two spots are dreadful in their own ways, pitched to two very different regional audiences in America during roughly the same time period. What both these commercials have in common is a horrible jingle stinger to end them, as it was advertising law in those days that everything needed a jingle package.

Wowing the Backwoodsmen with Flying Machines
Now defunct, Ozark Airlines used this unique angle in an old commercial: "You will be flying on a real, honest to goodness aeroplane that we bought from a real aerosmith named Douglas. And did you know, when you travel on an aeroplane, you will save time?"

Swinging America: Drink, Dance and Hook up with Winking Chicks
The sophisticated traveler of yesteryear required another approach, so here we have super-hip and also defunct National Airlines bringing us to Miami with their Go-Go sale, where you can dance in the surf in your blazer. Smell the possibilities.

SEXIST ALERT: I really don't need commenters here representing a feminist viewpoint chiding me for objectification of women, but something's been puzzling me. Whatever happened to pleasant and pretty flight attendants? Now they're all cranky old ladies or way-too-happy guys.

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  • I'll tell you what happened to all those women.

    In the olden days, if you were a woman you could only work as a teacher, a secretary, an airline stewardess or a nurse. As career opportunities expanded for women, they branched out elsewhere.

    That's what happened. (My theory)

    By Blogger Maulleigh, at June 24, 2007 at 7:04 PM  

  • Good answer, Maulleigh. I can believe that, to a degree. But you know, Hooters still manages. I'm thinking maybe all the pretty ones just got locked into a full time can't-get-fired union gig years ago and now they've just grown old.

    And they prefer to be called "flight attendants" now. If you call them "stewardesses" they act as though you've said "Negro."

    By Blogger Jetpacks, at June 25, 2007 at 8:13 AM  

  • I think the pay must be pretty bad. I knew one who was doubling as a real estate appraiser.

    By Anonymous void where prohibited, at June 25, 2007 at 2:31 PM  

  • I am never going to get that Ozark jingle out of my head.

    I'd second the where did all the pleasant flight attendants go, those people are mean. At least they were on a flight to Kansas I had to take.

    Perhaps they used to be able to hire people based on looks, now I guess they'd get sued. ;)

    By Blogger Thinking In Vain, at June 25, 2007 at 3:52 PM  

  • Well, let's get all sexist then:

    Maybe the fashionable female of the New Millenium got bored with having the same old six ways to tie a neckerchief?


    Now, let's go back to that spiffy tagline that some airline would be lucky to have:

    “Smell the possibilities.”

    Lucky indeed.

    By Blogger Make the logo bigger, at June 26, 2007 at 12:07 AM  

  • It's an established fact (there'll be something on Conservapedia to back this up) that women, in the days when the world was black & white, were softer and fluffier and damn well did as they were told.
    We had rules about this in Britain, don't you know, sir.

    By Blogger FishNChimps, at June 26, 2007 at 12:50 PM  

  • I'd even settle for beastly ugly yet mildly courteous flight attendants, Chimps. As it is, they appear to hate their jobs and make flying even more miserable than it should be.

    By Blogger Jetpacks, at June 27, 2007 at 12:05 PM  

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