Wednesday, January 09, 2008

It Takes a Village to Untangle a Pileup

Authorities in Central Florida today are urging do-gooders to stay away from the pile-up on Interstate 4, saying, “There is nothing you can do.”

Man, all those Hummer owners looking to feel good about their purchases must feel so helpless right now.

Most of the Hummer drivers I see here are soccer moms. They are always on their phones, and they are almost always alone. The men I see driving Hummers usually fall into the hair gel, cologne and gold bracelet demographic. I'm no Green Team member, but I can easily despise a Hummer owner. Their own self-hatred is what drove them to organize that stupid "Hummers for Hope" group. I don't even think it's the gas-guzzling that gets me as much as it is the fact that they are driving what amounts to a Chevy Tahoe, but they think it's some sort of urban assault vehicle. As for design, it's just butt-ugly.

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  • I've had several discussions with friends about the whole Hummer phenomenon. In my opinion, if you own a ranch, or are a 4WD enthusiast, and want an H1, fine. I understand the appeal. It is, clearly an incredible machine FOR OFF ROAD.

    But the H2 offers no greater capabilities than, as you say, a Tahoe or Yukon. Owning one makes you look kinda pathetic. And owning an H3? That makes you a pathetic wannabe.

    For the record, I drive a Mazda mini-van. I guess that makes me the most pathetic of all.

    By Blogger TexanInHippieland, at January 9, 2008 at 3:51 PM  

  • It's actually Hummers of Hope (I just googled it) and it's a bit ridiculous. They're all 5'1" women with fake body parts (hair extension, nails, busts) wearing Chanel this and that. I'm certain they'll be zooming down to assist in the next Katrina. Indeed.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 9, 2008 at 4:22 PM  

  • Actually, Lincoln got dibbs on Katrina exploitation.

    Hummers were something that looked right for Hollywood stars to drive. Arnold in one? Yeah, that works.

    But the 4'11" anorexics in Westport, CT with their ponytail through the back of the baseball cap and Venti, 1/2 caff, 2%, iced vanilla latte?

    Yeah. Riiiiight. Who needs a smack.

    By Blogger Make the logo bigger, at January 9, 2008 at 5:45 PM  

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