If We Smolder, They Will Drink

Cuervo is trying desperately to get men, ages 25-34, not to abandon their product in search of different drinks.

“As consumers’ tastes evolve and their palates become more discerning, they seek products that reflect this heightened sense of quality,” said Neil Gallo, Diageo (Cuervo importer and Marketer) Senior Director, North America. “Cuervo Black is the perfect tequila to show the world you have grown up, not old.” (Translation: Our signature product has no quality and is meant for frat boys and girls gone wild.)

Only one problem: The new product doesn't taste like tequila. It tastes like watered-down Jagermeister. So the attempt here is to get those "growing up" kids to relate to the Cuervo brand, not to tequila at all.

Attention tequila drinkers: Don't be fooled by this attempt. Tequila was meant to be done in shots, chased by beer. Tequila and cola is an abomination, no matter how many blue-eyed male models attempt to stare you down and dare you to drink it. Attention Cuervo and Diageo: "Don't Let Go" as a slogan is desperate and the public doesn't translate it as "grab life by the horns" as you'd hoped. To them it reads: "Please don't leave us. We'll change!" That never works in failing relationships and it won't work for your new "sophisticated" tequila. You're tequila. Go with what you know. Shooters and margaritas.