Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Render Unto Little Ceasars

(WASHINGTON, DC) With church attendance nationwide in a slump, some churches are looking to marketers to help increase the size of their coffers, if not their congregations.

“Gone are the days of ‘create a cool logo and call your church something hip,’” said Marla Washburn of Nothing is Sacred, a marketing consultancy in Washington, DC. “It used to be easy to rebrand a church and get a whole new flock, but the churchgoer is a shopper and a consumer, and they’ve seen that tack before. It’s time to work with what we've got. Lower attendance means lower offerings, so we had to find another angle.”

Nothing is Sacred has begun placing ads in church pews, offering a new revenue stream to struggling houses of worship.

“We went first with what we know. Church folks are always going out to eat after service, so why not try restaurants first?” said Washburn, "But I can see this expanding to all manner of products and services."

Pastor Charles Franklin of the 3rd Baptist Church of Arlington, Virginia was initially against the idea, but when the money started rolling in, he became a believer.

“I had my doubts at first,” said Franklin, “But now I’ve got to say, Marla and her team are our saviors. This is a real godsend.”

The story you just read is fake. But it could happen.


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  • The Baptists:

    “Come for the dancing – stay for the miracles.”

    By Blogger Make the logo bigger, at March 20, 2007 at 7:31 PM  

  • I'm glad you added the disclaimer, because it wouldn't surprise me. If ads can go in and on school busses, I see nothing keeping them from churches. Next up, full-bleed spreads in holy books. Scratch n' sniff myrhh.

    By Anonymous whogoesthere, at March 20, 2007 at 9:07 PM  

  • Jesus fed the masses with five loaves of bread and two fish. Today everybody wants a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese Extra Value Meal and a McFlurry. Would you like Super-Sized Fries with that Last Supper?

    By Blogger HighJive, at March 21, 2007 at 1:40 AM  

  • Thank you for telling me the article was a fake. It really did get my dander up. *sigh*

    Great picture though.

    By Blogger Maulleigh, at March 21, 2007 at 5:52 AM  

  • Sorry to get you riled, Maulleigh.

    The original image was taken at a cathedral in St. Augustine, FL in January.

    See it here.

    By Blogger Jetpacks, at March 21, 2007 at 9:44 AM  

  • oh man, I am loving it!!

    By Blogger Slinky Redfoot, at March 21, 2007 at 12:40 PM  

  • being an atheist with a divine view of my own ego, I see nothing wrong with this. Religion and money are cheeks from the same backside.

    By Blogger FishNChimps, at March 21, 2007 at 1:00 PM  

  • Oh I got real excited for a second because I LOVE Little Ceasers. I'm from Michigan and they have them all over, but there are hardly any on the east coast.

    The Little C's in Ann Arbor is one of the only telephone numbers I actually know by heart b/c I've been calling it since high school - if I ever lost my cell phone I'd only be able to call like my mom, and Little C's... ha.

    By Anonymous Catch Up Lady, at March 22, 2007 at 12:22 PM  

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