Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Guess I Won't Run for The Senate

As Florida Senator Mel Martinez bows out of the Senate with the always handy "spend more time with my family" line, which probably really means, "someone has pictures of me engaged in very weird sex," I thought I'd take a shot at his seat. It's an easy job that basically involves communicating bullshit and making people believe it. And who better to do that than a copywriter? The salary is pretty good ($169K) and the perks are excellent. Plus, I'd get to hang out with people with names like Saxby Chambliss. My pet projects would be national rail service and the criminalization of anything that has to do with the Jonas Brothers.

But alas, Jeb is back on the scene, Florida's former Governor and George Bush's little brother. Even given that heavy handicap of being related to the most hated President in modern history, Jeb is still well-liked. Think about that: these two guys shared a bathroom growing up. Fluent in Spanish, calm and cool in a hurricane and pretty much the anti-Bush, if Jeb runs, he'll win. Plus, he'll have the "Republican attack machine" working for him if the race heats up, and I'm pretty sure I don't want the things I've written on this blog to ever be made public.

Crossposted to Radio Free Babylon.

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