Monday, March 23, 2009

Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm Acts Like They Don't Know You

State Farm Insurance, the "good neighbor" people, have decided that Florida's just too risky a place to offer homeowner's insurance, what with the hurricanes, wildfires, falling space debris and whatnot.

One insurance company's weasely exit is a local independent's entrance, who've begun running radio ads for "Dropped By the Farm." It looks like a hastily assembled operation, complete with sad logo and sad stock photography of a sad couple reading a sad letter from State Farm, a sad company.

Dear Mr. & Mrs Loyal Customer Who Always Paid Their Dues on Time and Never Filed a Claim:

We have enjoyed taking your money here at State Farm, but from now on, you're on your own. Seems hurricanes and stuff like that are cutting into our massive profits and that shit don't wash at State Farm.

Fuck you very much.

Goodbye.

State Farm


Our super-tanned, anorexic, not-gay, very-happily-married Governor, Charlie Crist, is getting in some parting jabs at the mafia-esque State Farm: "They probably charge about the highest rates in the state, anyway," Crist said after State Farm announced its exit strategy. Ooooh! Buuuuurn!

Also, State Farm is recalling 800,000 Teddy Bears because the eyes come off and choke little babies to death. The bears are called "good neigh bears." Seriously. That's as stupid a name as State Farm's logo is a hideous mass of twisted red trash.

Way to go, State Farm.

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