Greenpeace Hates My Favorite Grocery Store

...and that's alright by me. I will shop there now with more gusto.

Greenpeace has released a report ranking the seafood purchasing practices of major US grocery chains. My store of choice, Publix (a company I have praised here on a couple of occasions) comes in dead last for their cruelty to sea life and the sea in general... or something. None of the stores graded even got passing marks from Greenpeace. Everyone sucks. Everyone's a failure in the eyes of Greenpeace. Everyone wants to hurt the sea creatures in the name of profit. Well, at least they aren't saying, "Lobsters have feelings! Save the lobsters!"

Extreme environmentalists are like the fervent zealot door-to-door evangelists who, when met with resistance and slammed doors, regard their rejection as “persecution” and proof that they are on the right path. "God smiles on us, surely."

Greenpeace suggests the following when purchasing seafood: Next time you’re in the grocery store, ask the seafood counter or store manager about the type of seafood offered and how it was caught or farmed. If they don’t know, ask them to find out for you so you can make sustainable choices.

That would go about like this:

Me: So, Chad. How was this farm-raised salmon farmed?
Chad: I dunno.
Me: Then I’ll need to speak to the store manager.
Chad: You serious?
Me: Yes. Please get the manager.
Chad: OK.
(2 minute wait)
Tom (Store Manager) : How can I help you?
Me: Chad here doesn’t know how this farm-raised salmon was farmed. How can I make a sustainable choice without that information? Greenpeace tells me I should ask these questions and if you don’t have good answers, I’m taking my shopping someplace else.
Tom: It’s farm-raised. I think that means it’s like, you know, raised on a salmon farm.
Me: I see. Wow, nice crab legs. Those things are HUUUGE! Have you ever seen that show “Crab Fishermen In Icy Water?”
Chad: You mean “World's Deadliest Catch”?
Me: Yeah. That’s awesome.
Tom: We have a special on crab legs right now.
Me: How were they caught?
Tom: Probably like they are on that show.
Me: Cool. I’ll take 3 pounds.