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Women Laughing Alone With....

Oh, wait. That was earlier in the week. It's so damn hard to keep up anymore.

OK, here's Sad Woman Alone with Ice Cream.

I Friended Your Mom

Where are the kids congregating now? I know they've discovered a cool new hideout where their parents and the marketers aren't lurking. Yet. Or at least I would've by now if Facebook had been around when I was a kid. Blocking isn't enough. Facebook has to be reaching "gay" status pretty soon if it hasn't already.

Rest assured, kids, the marketers will find you - and hot on their heels are your parents. Keep running!

Train of Thought Derailed

You know how it is, or maybe you don't. You're looking for something to spark an idea. Or rather, you've got an idea, but it's vague, and so you're looking for something that will spark it. Flesh it out. Complete it. But the Internet has given us short attention spans. I can't sit through a video that's over a few minutes. Got to move on. Find new stuff. Get nagging questions answered, like, "Is Tim Brando from CBS Sports related to Marlon Brando, because he sure has the fat head like Brando did?" And your team loses badly and so you want to make a cartoon of a father and son and the father will say something to the son like, "Ya know, now that the Gators suck, I expect them to lose and I don't have to beat you and Mommy so badly anymore. C'mon, let's play Black Ops." Or something. As I said, it was a vague idea. You know how it is. Or maybe you don't. And that's when I came upon this page and I loved how the words were almost poetry. And so now Stock Vector is a fictitious band and their new project "Running Black Silhouettes" is getting good press and they're adding dates to their North American tour and pretty soon some telecom will buy the rights to one of their catchy hits for a commercial and then backlash will hit fast and the hipsters who liked them early on will abandon them and before you know it even the middle schoolers think they're stupid. Then they break up and get jobs in retail and people sometimes recognize them and say, "Hey! Weren't you in Stock Vector?" And they're like, "Yeah, but that was a long time ago. Are you finding everything you need?" And then as the one-time fan walks away, finding everything she needs, the former member of Stock Vector hears the kid humming a few bars from the big hit that got them fame and money but also destroyed them. "You know how it is" was catchy as hell, and they caught hell for it.

7 Things Never Going Out of Style

Brick. Looks great—lasts a long time. Impervious to trends and yet incorporated into trends throughout the years, brick rules. Even the name “brick” says “Here to Stay.”





Triumph Bonneville. I cannot describe it, but I know it when I see it. This is no crotch-rocket Ninja death bike. It’s not your dentist’s glimmering Sunday fantasy role-playing toy, either. It’s just a classic bike built for riding.





Converse Chuck Taylors. It doesn’t matter if they’re black, blue, or plaid, they’ve been cool since they were invented. They cross socio-economic and ethnic lines and are just as acceptable with jeans as they are with a black suit.



Coke. This brand rules its category. It will always beat Pepsi and it will always be red and white and it will always taste great. The shape of the bottle, the script logo, the way it makes you think of summer.









Mead Composition Book. You can pay $16 for your fancy trendy notebook with the faux-leather cover and the little elastic closer deal, but for notes, this hardcover classic is king.









Coffee. In a ceramic cup or mug. Without additives that turn it into a desert. And without a straw. And without a sleeve around the paper cup. And without some logo on it. Coffee. Joe. Hot Liquid Hope. As God intended it.






The metal folding chair. Not that you’d want a bunch of them in your home as furnishings, but this utilitarian and Spartan device is efficient and trouble-free. Knockabout toughness that no one cares might get scratched.

And Wake Up to a Brand New Day

With the Imus controversy fresh in our minds, I thought now would be a good time to call attention to a trend that has taken a long time to come around; that of including interracial couples (I meant Black & White - see comments) in advertising and marketing. I've seen it in print for fashion, cigarettes and jewelry, maybe once or twice on TV, but this is the first time I've seen it on a website's homepage. Nice job on the part of Fossil to be a pioneer here, although it's a little odd that in 2007 this is considered pioneering.

Title of post stolen from "Original Sin," by INXS.

Very Nice!™

No one ever trademarked "Vote for Pedro," (much to someone's dismay, I'm sure.) but the phrase "Very Nice" from the Borat film (did I say "film"? - how pretencious) is now the most-oft-uttered phrase on high school campuses nationwide, according to a completely unscientific poll conducted by Radio Free Babylon.

Sacha Baron Cohen, the much-loved, much-hated creator of Borat, was being beaten up at press time and was unavailable for comment.

Expect "Very Nice" to appear in local advertiing, where no one has any imagination and they're still using lines like "Got a Realtor?" and "Got BBQ?"