Monday, April 21, 2008

Because I'm Looking Out For You

Click for some super-sized 1024 x 768 gorgeousness
Just in case you, like me, can't get enough of Hillary Clinton, I made you this lovely desktop background. I'm not even going to charge you for it. You're welcome. If you gaze long enough at the picture, you'll come under her spell. Surrender, Dorothy.

It's not enough that I see her angelic face every time I go to Google News, or see her tireless, warrior visage in my reader, or find her likeness on every web site in the form of banner ads posing the question "Should Hillary Quit?" Heavens no, she shouldn't quit. She's a fighter. She's been fighting for people like you and me for over 35 years and so I was compelled to create this collage. I love turning on the TV at any time of the day or night, assured that I will certainly be treated to her soothing voice and reassuring words. I will see her pointing and nodding with confidence, a confidence that is instantly imparted to me, with which I can face whatever the day may hold. It is a confidence that allows me to slumber like a child at night, carefree in a peaceful and undivided nation governed by the Former First Lady and current Junior Senator from New York.

All this talk of "Clinton fatigue" is coming from a bunch of misogynist men who are afraid of powerful women. They don't recognize how perfect she is for our country because they are blinded by their ignorance and arrogance. I am going to have her face tattooed on my chest. I'm going to buy a 70s van with a waterbed in the back and have her awesomeness airbrushed onto the side (maybe reclining in a bikini with a giant rounded afro, a white tiger on a leash).

I'm glad that tomorrow the fate of the nation rests in the hands of old, underemployed, high-school educated white women from rural Pennsylvania who hate black people. They will speak for us, and they will send a loud and clear message to those Superdelegates that if they let some smooth-talking Muslim gangsta win the nomination, then they've clearly lost their minds and deserve to have John McCain as their President, who at least has passed the Commander in Chief test and would be better than some guy who gave a speech in 2004.

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  • How'd you avoid using a photo of Hilary pointing at someone in the audience and widening her eyes with an expression that says, "I know you!"

    Once in a while she does a thumbs up instead of pointing, but she does the "I know you!" face every single time she's introduced to an audience.

    It's so irritating and phony -- you just KNOW she's not really looking at anyone she actually knows.

    If she wins, I'll have to make a drinking game out of this habit of hers. Perhaps I'll start practicing now. Just in case.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 23, 2008 at 1:00 PM  

  • She must have picked that up from her old Hollywood buds. They've done it for years, along with the silent "thank you" that seems to be drown out by applause. The smile and flash or recognition from the stage is such a simple way to leave the impression that the performer has actual friends, which in Hollywood or politics, is probably not true.

    By Anonymous ouija repair, at April 26, 2008 at 9:40 AM  

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