Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Digging for Gold

There are dating sites exclusively for Christians, and dating sites for people who are looking for a clandestine hookup outside of their marriages. And there's a site for people who only want to date millionaires. Sort of like "The Ladders" but this time you're not looking for a job, you're looking for someone who has a job. A very good job and a lot of money.

Looks mean nothing to you. You're not shallow. You know that looks change. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain - they fade. And when they do, with, you can find someone who will pay to preserve your youth. (Tagline: "Romance for the Successful and Attractive." Seriously.) You don't even care much about compatibility. What is that, really? So you like high art and he likes football? You like introspective memoirs and he likes Bruce Willis movies? These stupid trivialities are not what make for good relationships. Surely there's something on TV you two can agree on. If not, surely there's something the two of you can go out and buy that will bring smiles to your faces. You see, money doesn't buy happiness, but it can rent it for a long time.

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  • Based on recent scandals, it seems that there's a huge untapped market: Christians looking for clandestine hookups outside of their marriages.

    By OpenID parkrrrr, at March 31, 2010 at 10:31 AM  

  • Ohhhhhhh. I had hoped that this was another sharply satirical fake ad for a sharply satirical fake dating site.

    Oh, well.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 31, 2010 at 1:40 PM  

  • Well, I know how I'll be spending the rest of MY day...
    Millionaire Speed Meeting sounds like GREAT Fun..I'll send in my profile as soon as get the straw outta my beak. :) Where in the hell do you find this fabulous stuff.

    By Anonymous adchick, at April 1, 2010 at 8:50 AM  

  • For the record, I like Bruce Willis movies.

    By Anonymous Oakhurst, at April 2, 2010 at 12:42 PM  

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