Don't Tase Me, Bro

That is one funny phrase, and congratulations to Johannes Feldberg of Herndon, VA who had the foresight and the quickness to buy donttasemebro.com yesterday. (How do I know? I went looking to buy it!) No idea what Johannes intends to do with it, but he'd better act fast, as this sort of thing gets bumped off the front page very quickly these days.

Andrew Meyer, or Taser Boy, as he's come to be known in the media, is a stunt artist and an attention-seeker. As a clue, his email address is famouswriterman@aol.com. It's a shame he's drawing such negative attention to the very fine University of Florida. I know there's all kinds of debate going on about freedom of speech, police brutality, etc, but acting like an idiot in the interest of getting yourself on YouTube is quite another thing. Goal accomplished, Mr. Meyer. Make the most of your 15 minutes.

Don't Tase Me Bro
Lyrcs by D. Wilkie
(Feel free to set it to music, musicians.)

I'm headed straight for instant fame
This time tomorrow you will know my name
I'm gonna be a famous writer man
I'll stir it up however I can

I'll throw in buzzwords like Skull and Bones
They'll all record it on their camera phones
If Chris Crocker can have his day
You just wait until the world hears me say

Don't tase me, bro
Don't tase me, bro
I'm attention seekin'
They think I'm free speakin'
Don't tase me, bro
Yeah, I'm resistin' arrest
and I'm here to protest
Don't tase me, bro

Scream like a girl when the cops throw me down
Show up on Leno as the world's latest clown
Calculated spin-off: it'll spark some debate
about excessive force and a fascist state

I'll be the top story on Google News
Get me an agent for my interviews
Grab the attention of the media hounds
Across the world you will hear the sounds

of

Don't tase me, bro
Don't tase me, bro
That shock really hurt
You wanna buy a T-shirt?
Don't tase me, bro
It's all part of the plan
a famous writer, man
Don't tase me, bro