Weatherman, You Are Hereby Useless

And you Weatherwomen as well. Or Meteorologists or weather readers or whatever you people are.

They brand their various radar systems with goofy names like Double Super Doppler Plus (Now with Life Saving Abilities!) and play with their little interactive maps, giving me way more info than I want or need. They compete with each other in blaring promos, arguing over who was the first to Track That Storm and Keep You Alive. And now they're giving us online tools like this one, where I can zoom down to my street and see when a storm might be coming. If I'm really concerned. I prefer to just let the weather come and deal with whatever shows up.