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The National Hurricane Center announced this morning that henceforth, all tropical storms and hurricanes are available for sponsorship.

Asked why a corporate entity would want to be associated with death and disaster, NHC spokesman Chuck Neanderthal offered, “It’s about awareness. If we can get more people to go to our website, monitor a current storm system and prepare themselves for upcoming storms, we will have done our part.”


The rates for sponsorship were not disclosed, but Neanderthal suggested that as a storm’s intensity increases, the price to be associated with that storm would also increase.

“Clearly a mere tropical depression will not be as valuable as a Category 5 monster headed for New Orleans that will be in the press for days,” said Neanderthal.

Bill Ray Cyrus, who purchased the naming rights for Tropical Storm Hanna currently churning in The Bahamas, said, “It’s a win-win. My daughter’s merchandise sales go up as young people are educated about emergency preparedness. What’s not to love about this?"