Weekend Fake News Wrap

In response to new allegations of marital infidelity on the part of Tiger Woods, a host of advertisers and sponsors are considering dropping Woods' image and name from their product lines. Executives at Perkins Restaurants, while not a sponsor, are said to be pleased that their business is frequented by the erstwhile family man and are reportedly enjoying the free exposure.


In the wake of his team's devastating loss to No. 2 Alabama, friends of Florida's Tim Tebow have expressed concerns that the wholesome, Evangelical quarterback may be taking the defeat a little too hard.

Next Up: Hurricane Ike and Tina Turner's Greatest Hits

The National Hurricane Center announced this morning that henceforth, all tropical storms and hurricanes are available for sponsorship.

Asked why a corporate entity would want to be associated with death and disaster, NHC spokesman Chuck Neanderthal offered, “It’s about awareness. If we can get more people to go to our website, monitor a current storm system and prepare themselves for upcoming storms, we will have done our part.”


The rates for sponsorship were not disclosed, but Neanderthal suggested that as a storm’s intensity increases, the price to be associated with that storm would also increase.

“Clearly a mere tropical depression will not be as valuable as a Category 5 monster headed for New Orleans that will be in the press for days,” said Neanderthal.

Bill Ray Cyrus, who purchased the naming rights for Tropical Storm Hanna currently churning in The Bahamas, said, “It’s a win-win. My daughter’s merchandise sales go up as young people are educated about emergency preparedness. What’s not to love about this?"