Weekend Fake News Wrap

In response to new allegations of marital infidelity on the part of Tiger Woods, a host of advertisers and sponsors are considering dropping Woods' image and name from their product lines. Executives at Perkins Restaurants, while not a sponsor, are said to be pleased that their business is frequented by the erstwhile family man and are reportedly enjoying the free exposure.


In the wake of his team's devastating loss to No. 2 Alabama, friends of Florida's Tim Tebow have expressed concerns that the wholesome, Evangelical quarterback may be taking the defeat a little too hard.

Five Reasons Why College Football is Better Than The NFL

Pro football has become increasingly more glitzy, with video and sound effects on the broadcasts that are forced, out of place and more suited to video games. There's a "Vegas shine" to pro football that smacks of show business, pyrotechnics and everything that is superficial about America. College ball is just...better.

1. Hustle. College players are playing for the pro scouts. They are hoping to be noticed. They even get back to the huddle with more energy than pro players. (And less showboating.)
   
2. Loyalty. A college player isn't going to another team next year, donning the new jersey and cap while at a press conference talking about how excited he is to be playing in a new city.
3. Purity. College players aren't getting paid. They hope to some day, but for now, they play because they're good at the game and they love it.
4. Pride. Even after they enter the pros, the starting lineup of any NFL team will announce with pride the school they came from. School spirit trumps civic pride any day.
5. Crowds. A college team's fans are the largest, most rabid, loud, fun group of partisan loyalists ever to watch a game. And they are far more die-hard and less prone to fair-weather status than NFL fans.

What prompted this post? The San Diego Chargers have pissed me off again, losing, like a bunch of losing losers; a bunch of overpaid losers who have an overpaid loser coach who is a loser and specializes in losing. They make me hate the NFL today. (And all their sponsors.)

This Is Just Not Right

Currently, the Boise State Broncos are ranked in the top 10 in college football. They are also 64 and 2 at home since 1999. That is a very serious home field advantage. Could it be that visiting teams are too busy freaking out about playing on the world's ugliest football field to keep their heads in the game?

Since 1986, Boise State has had this hideous blue football field, an abomination of sport, no matter what sport you're a fan of. Unless it's basketball or sand volleyball, sport is meant to be played on grass, or on fake grass that at least looks like real grass. This field is literally making me feel nauseous. That might be because I had too much to drink last night.

Still, I am petitioning the NCAA to blow up this field.

Attention Boise State Fans: This is not a sports forum. I am sure you are very proud of your Broncos. Good luck the rest of the season. My Dad was born in Idaho. My grandfather, too. Your state is beautiful. I ate some of your potatoes last night. One of the bloggers I read lives in your city. I just hate your field. Save your rantings and foaming rabid fan talk for sites that care about that stuff. And Go Gators!

Today in Public Relations

A story making the rounds.

Wyoming Coach Joe Glenn didn't like how Utah tried an onside kick with a 43-point lead, and he let coach Kyle Whittingham know by giving him the finger. The Mountain West Conference reprimanded Glenn today for making the obscene gesture during the game, which was nationally televised. Glenn said after the 50-0 loss Saturday that he didn't remember giving the finger. "Honest to God, I can't even respond to it," Glenn said. "Maybe, I don't know." By today, however, he was repentant. "I met with my team on Sunday and apologized to them for the gesture I made toward the Utah bench during the game," Glenn said in a statement. "I also want to apologize to all fans for that action. Football is an emotional game, and I let my emotions get the best of me. I felt it was appropriate for me to let my team and all fans know that I am truly sorry for that emotional moment."

This is one of the times when a public apology is not at all necessary. If a coach can't get emotional, who can? When you're up by 43 points, it is extremely unsportsmanlike to attempt an onside kick. That is just as in-your-face as a finger. In fact, it says the same thing. The other coach should be called on to apologize if this Glenn guy has to. Obviously, this is a rivalry with some history behind it.

But this isn't like a celebrity caught on tape tossing around racial epithets or calling his daughter a rude, thoughtless pig. And if this had happened in England at a soccer match, the offended coach would've broken a bottle over the other coach's head, then sliced him repeatedly with the broken bottle, then been treated as a national hero for having the balls to stand up for his team. He'd probably even get some sportsmanship award from the Queen and be knighted.

On the subjects of football and sportsmanship, I'm getting real tired of NFL players dancing, celebrating and chest thumping/bumping after a simple tackle. You are a football player. We expect you to tackle. Quit acting like an idiot.

Superstitious Sports Stats

The guys in the booth announcing college and pro football games (maybe it's baseball too, but I don't watch) are getting really weird with their obscure "what if" and "did you know" scenarios.

• "Brett Favre is 21 and 4 in home games after losing a previous game that fell on one of his relatives birthdays."
• "The Gators are 12 and 2 against Georgia when the Gators have had a bye week prior to the classic match-up, provided the temperature was above 72 degrees."
• "LaDainian Tomlinson averages 4.5 yards per carry in games that follow an evening of mild passion. With the way he's running today, Bill, it looks like he may have been involved in an orgy last night. Heh, heh."

Captain Kirk Says, "Go Gators!"