Stimulus Maximus

If you search Amtrak Sucks on Google, this blog comes in first place. Here is one of the most popular landing pages on this blog, as that is a search term many people seem to identify with. (Here are all of my Amtrak related posts.)

Early on, I offered the new President my services as Transportation Secretary, but he played the coy game, not returning my emails, acting all aloof, finally going with some guy from Illinois to whom he probably owes a favor. I expect Ray LaHood (which is Lebanese for "Ray is a Hoodlum") to do nothing as Transportation Secretary, just like every other Transportation Secretary before him. If I were Ray right now, I'd be sending Barry emails, threatening to make public those pictures of the two of them doing bong hits in Chicago if he doesn't kick in a couple billion to fix Amtrak.

If you caught a glimpse of Obama's pre-inaugural train trip from Philly to DC, you might've noticed a very shiny Amtrak train, looking completely unlike any other Amtrak train you've ever seen, as they are usually covered in diesel scum and haven't been washed in years. His train was also on time, which was very odd, as punctuality is a concept Amtrak holds as relative.

Can we build a better rail system in America, people? Yes We Can. And if we can't, we can at least have this train.

Plus, this heirloom-quality Obama memorabilia really runs and illuminates with headlights and inner compartment lights. Take a historic ride and display your American pride. Also makes a stunning Obama themed gift. Order now!

Previously in "Expensive Obama Gifts You Can't Afford":

All Aboard the (Very Expensive) Hope Train