Indulging My Architecture Fantasies

I've probably mentioned it before, but I had a brief dream as a child that I wanted to be an architect. That dream was crushed by my brain's inability to love math. Seems there's some math involved in architecture, which is stupid, 'cause if I can imagine it, I can build it, right? Anyway, so I didn't get to be an architect, and I can say, "Oh, well, probably for the better." And I tell myself most architects probably hate life anyway because they have to design block apartments and hideous convenience stores and other things they despise. And they look back to their idealistic college days and wonder what happened to that student who was going to build incredible houses and magnificent structures and they think of killing themselves. So yeah, who wants to be an architect? Stupid job. Stupid math job.

But I like to play with design still and imagine "What if?" It seems I'm not the only one who's come up with this: Concrete pipe dwellings. Here's a hotel in Austria using concrete pipes for rooms. They only have three rooms randomly strewn on a lawn and they didn't really go for it in grand way, but I'm sure it's unique. Above is a modest little dwelling in China, and below are some guy's plans for something a little better. Kinda cozy in a claustrophobic way. (More detail here.)

While I applaud these modest efforts, all ya'll are thinking too small! If I were your architecture professor, I'd give you all F's and berate you before the class, suggesting that maybe you just kill yourself now since you'll be contemplating it anyway 20 years down the road when you're designing buildings that remind people of Soviet controlled Eastern Europe.

Let's get serious about concrete pipe. Like THIS monster mofo piece of pipe from Ameron International. 

You bury this chunk of cement halfway in the ground, either vertically or horizontally, and you've got a hurricane proof,  tornado proof, energy efficient place to build out. Stick three or four of them together, cut a few holes for windows and doors, and that's a nice sized place. Some stainless steel appliances and you're the coolest house in town. Leave a small section unfinished for your skateboarding kids. You'll need your own land, though, as I'd imagine most Home Owners' Associations shitting bricks if this went up in their neighborhood.

But as we've discussed before, rounded buildings don't catch the wind. (Hurricane season starts in a few days, which is why I'm thinking of this, I suppose.) And I'm pretty sure things half buried are easier to heat and cool. Surely there's some concrete pipe maker out there who once harbored dreams of becoming an architect who wants to try this experiment with me. Any of you old white guys on Ameron's board want to get your hands dirty? C'mon. It'll be fun.