дайте спасибо

I've decided to enter the highly lucrative field of Russian Thanksgiving card design. I hear there are huge fortunes to be made. We focus so much on minority markets and pay very little attention to all the new gold-laden, tracksuited, sketchy immigrants among us.

After some cursory study, I have determined that Russians enjoy nudity, food, sports and drinking. They are also into totally surreal, off-the-wall shit.

Isn't it heartwarming how deep down, we're all really the same?

Больш

(Translation: "Give Thanks")

The Sink Snorts Coke

Those whacky Russians are at it again. Anyone speak Russian? I'd like to know what the Sink says before he overdoses and collapses in the snow after snorting a line of cleanser. (I'm guessing he's a sink, though I am not too familiar with Russian plumbing fixtures.)