I Got a Wave Today

Earlier, I posted about the Wheeled Waving Man of Welch Road. He was out there this morning, sending me off on a long holiday weekend.

Today Is "International Confuse Your Dog Day"

Merry Christmas from Casa de Jetpacks

Git Off Mah Laaawn!

From Kansas City-based Austin Walsh Photography comes this twist on the company Holiday Greeting production. AWP's studio chief asks, "Heartfelt or Creepy? You decide." Well - after watching, it's very much both. Dolls with messed up eyes are the stuff of nightmares, but obsessed old men from the suburbs of KC who believe in Santa Claus are the stuff of Disney. And it's nice to see a studio/collective/agency just telling a story instead of putting antlers on the office dog and acting cute.

Pimp Santa

Disclaimer: The author if this blog does not condone violence against women. Or children. Or even against people who give Santa Claus sugar free cookies, suggesting that perhaps he needs to lose some of that gut and keep an eye on his diabetes and blood pressure. The author of this blog finds no humor in domestic violence of any kind, even against stupid pets that can't get the hang of pissing and shitting outside after a year of patiently and sternly showing them that they are totally fucking up the carpets and praising them when they once in a while get it right. (OK, a swat to the nose or rump is permissible here.) However, the author of this blog can and will, at his discretion, create comics that depict situations that show beloved characters in situations we might not normally find them in, such as Santa slapping a woman. Come on, you laughed.

Indulgence - They Has It

I have never in my life known anyone to give or get a new car for Christmas, but the car companies sure think it's a good idea. They always have. And I suppose they'll give you the giant bow as well for when you blindfold your loved-one and walk them to the driveway to reveal the gift you'll both be paying for for the next five years.

But Acura is running some spots for the Holidays that you might not fast-forward though on your DVR. Concept, writing, and above all, casting, are sharp. My favorite is this guy, showing off his post-modern gingerbread house. The pauses make it.



Others in the series include:

Over-lighted house guy

800 thread-count stocking lady

And the very Walken-esque "Chestnut." (Seriously, there's no way the writer and director weren't thinking Walken when they produced this.)

Give Thanks

May the Blessings of the Season Be Yours

It's not too early for a corporate Christmas card, is it?

Holidays are the Time for Tea!

Just in time for the Holidays! Have your own toasty-warm Tea-Party with these too-cute-for-debate mugs.

Get you one! Or a dozen!

Then get over to the Facebook page and like that thing!

Stop the Abuse!

It's his right. When will the madness stop?

Bloat

Old Art Director: Special Holiday Edition

Enlarge

Previously:

Old AD #3
Old AD #2
Old AD - Pilot

What Do You Do on The Top Side of My House, Fat Man?

I enjoy language. And I enjoy foreign languages, not that I can speak any. And I enjoy taking words in English, dropping them into a translator, converting them to another language, and then converting them from that language back into English. Why? Because I can. And because something always gets lost or found in the translation.

And now, courtesy of Babelfish and Xtranormal, a German guy who speaks passing English (learned in the Oxford tradition, as Germans tend to do when learning English) will recount a thrilling, snowy evening in which he encountered a jolly man in a reindeer-driven sleigh who entered his home and put gifts around the fireplace. Or rather, he will recite for us, "The Night Before Christmas," by Clement Clarke Moore, as translated from his native tongue.

How They Get Their Christmas Trees in Alaska

I was talking to one of my sisters the other day, as it is my annual habit to ring them on their birthdays and do the yearly catch-up, when our small talk turned to Christmas trees. I mentioned that we had just put ours up. She asked, "Did you go out to the woods and cut it down?" which made me laugh, as we don't do that down here. We have many places to find trees, but the woods isn't one of them, and we usually just end up at Home Depot. I could tell she thought that was sort of sad, and now I know why. She just sent me these images of her recent excursion to round up a Christmas tree.

Step One: Find tree in remote forest.

Step Two: Drag tree under wing of plane.

Step Three: Secure tree to wing struts with shrink wrap.

Step Four: Fly home, set up tree.

عيد ميلاد سعيد من المملكة العربية السعودية

Having failed tragically in my endeavor to make a killing creating Thanksgiving cards for the Russian immigrant market, I'm turning my attention to customized Saudi Christmas cards, where I understand many fortunes have been realized by go-getter entrepreneurs such as myself. We shall see. My first commission comes from a man who must keep his identity anonymous, since celebrating Christmas in Saudi Arabia is against the law.

ص. ضخم, كبير, هام, حبلي

The title reads, "Merry Christmas from Saudi Arabia." The fine print at bottom translates roughly: "My wives could not pose with me, as you would've lusted for them and then I'd have to kill them."

Take Your Music With You!

A rolling turntable, radio thingy, so the Mrs. can sip on her purple stuff whilst she preps the food for her grateful crew, who are celebrating the birth of the baby Jesus with appropriate mirth and merriment.

Jollier

Original image from Shorpy, modified to the point of desecration by me, on a rainy day at work as I await the call for the pot luck lunch.

Holiday Chocolate Facts

Fact:

If you take a bag of Hershey's Miniatures and dump them into a bowl, you will eventually end up with a bowl that looks like this:

He Knows When You've Been Sleeping - and With Whom

His Eyes - How They Twinkled

Gonna Find Out Who's Naughty

Saturday Afternoon at Santa's House

дайте спасибо

I've decided to enter the highly lucrative field of Russian Thanksgiving card design. I hear there are huge fortunes to be made. We focus so much on minority markets and pay very little attention to all the new gold-laden, tracksuited, sketchy immigrants among us.

After some cursory study, I have determined that Russians enjoy nudity, food, sports and drinking. They are also into totally surreal, off-the-wall shit.

Isn't it heartwarming how deep down, we're all really the same?

Больш

(Translation: "Give Thanks")