In The Afterglow of a Foursome with Himself

Sir Richard Branson demonstrates the new cubby bed, where you can sit in a corner and work or read, not disturbing the other three people in the bed. These beds are in the new Virgin Hotel Chicago, and more locations will be springing up around the country.

In fairness to the art director on this shoot, there was no better way to demonstrate the function of the bed. (Except, of course, a family with two kids. Dad or mom in the corner, kids and the other parent watching TV.) Any other combination of people would've been pornographic.

"Two men and two women?"

"No."

"Four guys?"

"No."

"Four women?"

"Well...I could see that, but no."

"Let's get Richard to be all four people!"

"Genius, because what would Richard like more than himself? Three more Richards!"

 

Supersaturated Street Scenes - Brotherly Love Edition

There are some "photographers" getting a lot of attention for their cropped Google Street View images. Honestly, it's not that hard to troll the virtual streets and find cool things. Here's my latest. And here are some more.

Back To School

Click for much bigger, art gallery hanging version

Philadelphia, PA (N. 15th ST, between W. York and W. Dauphin)

CYA

Just in case you were considering taking a refreshing dip in this gator-infested, weed-choked swamp of a canal, the HOA would like you to know that this is not a permitted activity.

They warned you. And now they're covered against all lawsuits.

Stupid, paranoid, litigious America.

Weekend Shot

Mark Twain with reading glasses.

I can rarely read a book without wishing I was as good a writer as the writer writing it, and hopefully learn something about style and the craft, but Twain takes it to another level and makes me want to hang up writing altogether and maybe just study to become a riverboat pilot.

Living Color

I had a great aunt who lived in Rochester, New York, home of Kodak. I only visited her home once as a boy, and I remember being disappointed that she didn't take me to tour the great temple of the photography gods. Aunt Angeline is gone now. And so is Kodachrome.

All things must pass, and seldom do I lament their passing, but today is a little different as we mourn the crossing of Kodachrome to the great beyond. Cassette tapes? Yeah - goodbye, glad you're gone. VCRs? I cringe at your bulky antiquity. Same goes for most outdated technology (except reel-to-reel multi-track decks). But Kodachrome had no equal.

I long ago switched to digital and haven't shot on film in years, much less Kodachrome, but it WAS a magical film. (And any REAL photographer will tell you that digital cannot be held in the same class as film.) And how, WHY would we hang on to that technology in the face of the digital SLR?  It just didn't make sense anymore to PAY for film, PAY to have it developed, and then HOPE that half your images didn't suck when they finally arrived.

Kodachrome was to still images what Technicolor was to moving pictures. Why do you suppose we love the apps that turn our iPhone pictures into neo-retro relics of another era? Just do an image search for Kodachrome and see what all these old-timers are crying about. That little yellow box turned color photography into art.

And since so many people in marking its passing will quote Paul Simon's 1973 song of the same name, I will post an old ad for Kodachrome with the body copy replaced by the poetic highlights of Mr. Simon's lyrics that captured the magic of the product. (Click it, like a shutter button.)

I half expect a camera crew to accost Paul Simon soon as he leaves his New York apartment, begging for a comment on the death of his old friend and collaborator.   

(Original ad found here at THE technical source for what made Kodachrome great. Also, the original ad's copy will let you kids know what it was like to actually have to WAIT to see your pictures.)

Today Is "International Confuse Your Dog Day"

Merry Christmas from Casa de Jetpacks

"We're Comforted by the Vintage Look"

Came across the site of an excellent photographer whose shots make me jealous, so I downloaded the app she uses to create great iPhone images.

Testing this morning with "Fish Mug on a Fish Coaster" followed by "October Morning Fog."

Quote from Every Sandwich.

The Ladies Love Coke and Smokes

Caption on Shorpy reads: July 1940. "Gas station in Benton Harbor, Michigan." 35mm nitrate negative by John Vachon for the Farm Security Administration. (Click for the massive)

If you like advertising, history, vintage crap, photography or you just want another cool place to waste time at as you put off that horrible assignment you're avoiding, bookmark that site or subscribe to the feed. The detail is always amazing. In the above scene, the restrooms are "registered" and apparently getting a radio installed in your car was a hot business back in 1940.

And it appears we are being watched from the garage by Major Mike Adams.

What a lurker.

Leave A Little Mystery

The summer weather reminded me of this old post from about three years ago. I get this song stuck in my head a little every summer, which is kind of cool since no one knows the tune but me.

Riverbend Dead End - 7/17/07 - 2:15 PM

You Do The Math

From the album Telegraph Canyon

Every afternoon at about this time
for a month
it’s been raining
The afternoon scattered shower
the kind that lasts until the end of rush hour
It’s like something's saying
take it easy
It’s like someone saying
take it slow

The straight and narrow’s got a couple twists
The straight and narrow bends just a little
The cloud ceiling’s pretty high
Is that some water in your eye?
What chance we’re slippin' from the path?
The odds are slim – you do the math

Every evening at about this time
for a month
the sun shines
3-D clouds under a crystal blue dome
No matter where you are you’re home
It’s like something's saying
take it easy
It’s like someone saying
take it slow

The straight and narrow’s got a couple twists
The straight and narrow bends just a little
The cloud ceiling’s pretty high
You got some water in your eye
What chance we’re slippin’ off the path?
The odds are slim – you do the math

L&M Cigarettes. A Play in One Act

OK, I'm getting lost at this great collection of old ads and if I don't walk away from the keyboard this blog will become nothing but old ads with new dialog added to them, por ejemplo: 

Andreas, do you believe the soul lives in the captured image?

I have always said as much, Claudia. You know this.

And yet you have not followed your parents into the Amish way of life?

Were it not for their ban on smoking, it would be the way for me.

Alas.

Alas.

Be Sure Your Sins Will Find You Out

The 5th of July

Ripples of a Coming Storm

Backyard, Wekiva Springs, Florida, USA. 06/01/10, 8:15 PM.  (Click for the larger.)

Fashion Ads Made Easy

(Click image for hugeness.) Are you considering attending a community college to get your Associate's degree in fashion marketing? Perhaps you are taking bids from ad agencies to create your next two-page spread for your summer collection. Well, either one of those endeavors would be a huge waste of money and time. All you need is internet access, Photoshop, maybe a digital camera and a cheaply paid model or two.

You start with a location, preferably somewhere desolate, abandoned and fairly ugly. In this instance we've chosen an old, defunct gas station location stolen from someone's Picasa account. Other popular locations include barns, alleys, deserts and beaches. If you go with a beach location, make sure the day is gloomy and overcast. Next, do an image search for "sullen" or something equally unhappy and you will come up with someone like our model in the foreground. ("Somber" also works.) She is not modeling your clothing, and that is perfectly fine. She is there to make the viewer say "What the hell?" A hint of skin is essential. If not, he or she should be completely covered, perhaps in a burka, adding to the "Huh?" factor.

Now you are ready to feature your product. In this instance, we will assume it's the man's coat. Or his shoes. Doesn't matter in the least. Unless you are creating in-store posters for Target or Wal-Mart, it is absolutely essential that your models be forbidden to smile. While most fashion models should be fairly practiced at the unsmiling pose, we want total authenticity. It is often helpful if you berate him or her, telling them things that will hurt a model's feelings, such as, "Damnit! I wanted a slim model!" or "Holy crap! I asked for "sexy guy" and they send me YOU?" Your product need not be featured upfront, in fact, it is best if it is not. Oftentimes, you may choose to not even show your product, which is fine. We are setting a mood, creating an illusion, and sometimes your product simply ruins the ad.

You may wonder if you need a headline now. No, you do not. What are you going to say? Something clever, mysterious or hip? Don't try it. All you need now is your fashion line's name, very large. And it is key that the first and last letters of the name extend out of the ad's frame. Then bring down the opacity of the name.

Congratulations, you are now a fashion ad designer.

Tea Party (with Red Peppers and Dom Perignon)

 

I am offering, for a short time, limited edition prints of my latest composition. (Click image for larger.) As I am terribly modest about my own work, I can't really explain it to you, so I'll share this review from Red State Art Digest:

At once haunting and timeless, Tea Party (with Red Peppers and Dom Perginon) is a masterwork of unparalleled import. The artist speaks in this kitchen scene to the passions, the fears, the freedoms and the dreams of the modern patriot. A brick of gold, a bong, a refrigerator bedecked with ageless truths, the artist blurs the boundaries between Libertarian and Libertine, offering us a glimpse of a new Age of Reason, where a man can dress as an 18th Century militia member and not be ridiculed for his patriotism.

The review went on with endless embarrassing flattery, but my modesty prohibits me sharing much more. OK, just a little more:

The spicy scent of the peppers nearly wafts from the canvas, reds so brilliant and succulent, while framed in the dual and subtle yellows of melted butter and solid gold, over which the patriot stands guard. Or does he guard his lady, she of the alluring eye and come-hither stance, suggesting a Fox News weekend anchorwoman? She represents truth, and the patriot will protect her.

Colour prints

20" x 16" £6000
16" x 12" £4300
12" x 10" £2800


Lith Prints

20" x 16" £5500
16" x 12" £3800
12" x 10" £2300

(In truth: I saw this old kitchen at the always awesome Plan 59, and it begged to be messed with.)

Lizard in a Watering Can

way bigger

11/21/09, 8:45 AM - Wekiva Springs, Florida

Stock Photography Fail

When you're shooting stock images and you want to portray "doctors," choose people who look like doctors. Try throwing a woman in there. A minority is quite popular these days.

When you're selecting an image for your own publication, creating an ad that is trying to solicit ads from medical professionals, choose an image that represents your audience, or at least an image that represents your audience's inflated image of itself.

My guess is the intended audience for this ad is not likely to respond to an image of a couple of B-grade, mousse-haired male models. Pretending to be doctors. These chumps have that air about them that says, "I'm going to be a huge deal someday." They will wake up in ten years to the suicide-inducing realization that they are being cast in ED commercials because they have that "impotent" look.

Oh, and can I have a couple of alternate headlines here? Your first clever instinct may not always be your best one.

Put Her in the Backseat and Drive Her To Tennessee

Just got back from Tennessee, where I wish I was still. I can't say I missed blogging for one minute. Here's a shot taken during what photographer Ross Halfin calls "God's Light" one evening. Not a single thing was done to this image in Photoshop. Straight from the camera to here. (Click it for the big, screensaver version, free of charge. Hurry while supplies last.)


I'm so enamored of Tennessee, I even love their state flag. Understated, tasteful.

We didn't watch TV for a week, only checked Internet for emergency work emails and only on the computer that had a barely passable connection via Verizon. AT&T was out, as was Sprint. No cell phone service. We just hung out on a porch in the woods in the north central mountains of the state, went swimming and boating (Where's My Jetski?) in a lake and had three great meals a day, no between-meal snacks.

And yes, I've posted this cringe-inducing video before, but it's always worth a second look, especially since Prince sings about Tennessee. In that funky Prince way.

Pulp Fiction Springing From the Pages

If you like photography, if you like 3D, if you like nostalgia, if you like Americana, if you like books, if you have a half a brain and a computer and are able to click on this link, then you will like what you see.

Found via Twitter from @everysandwich.

Yeah, Not Everyone's a Photographer

Corps of Cadets, Army-Navy game, Philadelphia, date unknown

Despite the fact that we all have access to good gear and fine editing software, photography is still an art form that requires skill. I have a decent camera, but I can't call myself a photographer. Point and shoot all you want, you won't get images like these without someone behind the camera knowing what they're doing. Found via Twitter by a guy who follows me and who I followed back. Northeasterners needing a photog, think about Chris Sembrot.