A Little Less Vitriolic

I don't have much to add to the conversation on the events of this weekend, other than crazy people will find a way to be crazy, with or without "vitriolic political discourse" and with or without guns.

I'm no Gadsden Flag waver. I actually prefer the Washington's Cruisers design. But I might fly this new one I made for my countrymen prone to party in the tea way.

Originally posted at Radio Free Babylon, which may soon become the only place I blog.

220, 221 - Whatever It Takes

Seen on the road this morning, this guy's vanity plate says "Mr. Mom." And although his grammar needs a little work, he is also an unabashed patriot. (And that flag reminded me of the Schooner Tuna campaign.)

Tea Party (with Red Peppers and Dom Perignon)

 

I am offering, for a short time, limited edition prints of my latest composition. (Click image for larger.) As I am terribly modest about my own work, I can't really explain it to you, so I'll share this review from Red State Art Digest:

At once haunting and timeless, Tea Party (with Red Peppers and Dom Perginon) is a masterwork of unparalleled import. The artist speaks in this kitchen scene to the passions, the fears, the freedoms and the dreams of the modern patriot. A brick of gold, a bong, a refrigerator bedecked with ageless truths, the artist blurs the boundaries between Libertarian and Libertine, offering us a glimpse of a new Age of Reason, where a man can dress as an 18th Century militia member and not be ridiculed for his patriotism.

The review went on with endless embarrassing flattery, but my modesty prohibits me sharing much more. OK, just a little more:

The spicy scent of the peppers nearly wafts from the canvas, reds so brilliant and succulent, while framed in the dual and subtle yellows of melted butter and solid gold, over which the patriot stands guard. Or does he guard his lady, she of the alluring eye and come-hither stance, suggesting a Fox News weekend anchorwoman? She represents truth, and the patriot will protect her.

Colour prints

20" x 16" £6000
16" x 12" £4300
12" x 10" £2800


Lith Prints

20" x 16" £5500
16" x 12" £3800
12" x 10" £2300

(In truth: I saw this old kitchen at the always awesome Plan 59, and it begged to be messed with.)

Tea Party Patriots

bigger

Crossposted to Radio Free Babylon.

What Does Obama Want?

Depends who you ask.




More alarming, what should Obama do?



Oh, this is getting interesting. Let's let Magic Google finish this statement:



It's worse than you thought, people.

We're All Deranged

If you enjoy satire or if the recent election left you spinning in a dizzy way, you might like Matt Taibbi's book The Great Derangement.

Going undercover in a Texas church, the author gets baptized, fakes speaking in tongues and makes friends with some lonely folks. While I found this technique evilly deceptive, the author balances his right-wing exposé with one as equally indicting of the left. Infiltrating some 9/11 Truth groups, he cleverly debunks their theories with an imaginary scene involving Cheney and crew as they mastermind an impossible scheme to take down the twin towers.

Taibbi is a bastard, but he is a truthful bastard, and this book, while disheartening, is also enlightening. In an outing to the mall with his church friends to "witness" to the masses, he is appalled at the desire of random strangers to unload their troubles on him, surmising:.

"No creature on earth is more inclined to public verbal diarrhea than a modern American; whether it's the AA culture, or the post-Me Generation emphasis on "finding yourself", or all those new-Woody Allens confessing to their therapists, or just too many damn people fantasizing about telling the audience of Oprah what influenced their latest album ("In the fourth track, I'm trying to share the sacred message of His Holiness the Dalai Lama..."), we live in a country where people believe implicitly in their right to bore the living shit out of absolutely everybody within haranguing distance with tales of their miserable, lonely, and inevitably self-deluding searches for personal fulfillment in the emotional desert that is our crass commercial culture."

In between ranting at (and sympathizing with) the hard left and the hard right, Taibbi skewers the process we call government, showing it for the back-room, lobbyist-driven sham that it is, regardless of which party is in power. The paperback edition has a September, 2008 afterword in which the author is even more disgusted at the tone of the McCain/Obama contest than he was with the do-nothing Democrats who took power under Pelosi.

He concludes that this fractured nation, and our ability to pick and choose and create our own customized news tailored to our prejudices and fears, has turned us into haters. We go to the polls to vote against someone, not for someone, and that person we vote against is the embodiment of all that is evil and corrupt - and we do so in the name of patriotism. Whether you're a Texas Christian convinced that Pelosi and Obama are tools of Satan, or you're a 9/11 Truther convinced that Cheney is the evil Illuminati's instrument for a new world government, you're both on the far fringes of reality, and you might do well to shut off your Internet for awhile and stop attending meetings that reinforce lies.

With a new cover by hipster illustrator Shephard Fairey, he of the iconic Obama art.

Crossposted to Radio Free Babylon.

A Nation of Immigrants

Hey, Hannity! They barely speak English, but they love their country.

Patriotism is alive in one of the most neglected yet colorful areas of Miami. This in-progress American mural graces a wall in Little Haiti.

mas grande

I'm hoping the artist eventually puts some lapels on that Mister Rogers sweater Obama's wearing, turning it into a proper jacket.

Rush Hour Traffic Alert for Central Florida

A long time ago, when Obama was hurting in his bid against Senator Clinton, I made the unwise decision to send his campaign an email suggesting some strategic and tactical moves they might employ. Big mistake. Now I'm on a mailing list that brings me at least three emails a day, all very friendly and personalized and almost always concluding with, "And can we have $5?"

I've yet to send a single dollar and I'm sure I won't, but I remain on the list out of curiosity and as a student of politics and marketing. Last night I got an email from Big BO himself! Barry said, "Hi, Dave! I'm going to be in Orlando tomorrow! Hope you can come out! Event is at 6 pm, but try to get there at 3 pm."

He'll be at the Amway Arena of all places. Ugh. Amway.

RSVP to Barry: Uh, sorry. Can't make it. Something suddenly came up*. I'll be avoiding that crazy mad throng of worshipers, all throwing their babies on your altar in some sort of orgiastic satanic-socialist cult-of-personality ritual while you and your frothing band of America haters and welfare recipients try to besmirch the good name and solid reputation of Her Holiness, Sister Sarah of Alaska (and her running mate, that old guy she will replace as soon as he breathes his last come January). And I'm not interested in a "management opportunity" in your "new business" either, you multilevel marketing community organizer.

As a public service, I've created this traffic map for my fellow citizens, effective from now (2:45 pm) until tomorrow morning at 5:30 am.

• Red: Pack your dinner and plenty of water. Hope you have a Pringles can to pee in or you're wearing Space Diapers. You'll be stuck in this mess for hours to come. Resistance is futile. Might as well just accept his rule, since he rules your next 12 hours anyway.
  
• Orange: Have you ever seen so many Obama bumper stickers on one commute? To avoid confrontation, McCain supporters are urged to keep their eyes on the road and both hands on the wheel. Do not make eye contact with The Obama People.
  
• Yellow: As you curse the socialist mob and their antichrist messiah for ruining your evening, tune in to Sean Hannity for cathartic release. Violence is not an option and you will only end up in jail. Then again, if you're a true patriot in the Hannity tradition...well, I think Sean would understand if you were forced to show your love for your country by vandalizing Obama cars and screaming wildly at the occupants.

* Friends of Maureen know what I mean.

Patriotic Gumballs

And it works for any country that uses red, white and blue in their nation's flag. Yes, you Britain, Puerto Rico, Cuba and France! (Not necessarily in that order. Void where prohibited by law.)

One of the designers at work keeps a giant jar of gumballs on her desk, so I took a few and put them on the window sill and took pictures of them. They are now on display in a gallery in Miami. .

Subtle

Yard sign in the hood, featuring the burning Twin Towers of the World Trade Center, the obvious assumption being that only McCain (and PALIN!) can prevent this from happening again. Keep America Safe. And by the way, John McCain can't comb his own hair. So vote for him.


I cannot imagine what the 2012 election is going to be like. This has gotten so out of hand that I am very seriously ready to emigrate to Australia.

In case you're interested, here's where the sign points you to.

Crossposted to Radio Free Babylon.

Jesus Supports Your Agenda

For my 1,000th post here at Where's My Jetpack? - a simple Photoshop hack-job in honor of Patriot Day. He makes a fine Republican, doncha think? But he's still two years too young to be elected President.


(This is actually Dick Cheney's official portrait, with the classic Jesus painting head stuck on.)

Wake Up, All You So-Called Patriots

I can overlook the fact that she wants to overturn Roe vs. Wade. I can understand trying to oust her brother-in-law from his job in defense of her sister in the midst of a nasty custody battle. I can forgive her pretending to be a reformer when she really was in fact a strong advocate of that "bridge to nowhere," among other pork projects. I even understand the Evangelical desire to teach "intelligent design" alongside evolution. I'm even willing to turn a deaf ear to her crazy claim that the War in Iraq was a "task from God."

But when you start putting pressure on the local librarian of your small town to ban books, you've crossed a line in my America. You're not "Putting Country First," lady, unless your country is Nazi Germany.

I expect that the answer to all these charges from the fawning "base" of the Republican party will be, "Reverend Wright! William Ayers!"

Wave your flags, patriots, as you rush to fall in line behind another Cheney.

Damn Me, I Did it Again

Tuned into Fox News, that is - and Hannity among others. The outrage, the feigned disgust, the appalled righteousness on the part of the right wing in response to liberal bloggers asking questions about Governor Palin's daughter's pregnancy is the very height of hypocrisy. Not the world's most liberal blogger, Jake Tapper of ABC, asks a great question:

"What would the response be if Sen. Barack Obama, D-Illinois, and his wife Michelle had a pregnant unmarried teenage daughter?"

I don't believe this young girl's pregnancy says anything about her mother's ability to govern, but the reaction to it, particularly from the right, says a whole lot about how we really live in two countries that will never get along. The right has their own media, the left has theirs. Those of us trying to get a glimpse of the truth have to switch back and forth and face both fronts of the propaganda storm.

It's already fractured beyond repair. I say we just split the thing down the middle.

Well, What Do We Have Here?

Waving that flag and calling others unpatriotic can sure come back to bite you in the YouTube Age.

Blasphemer!

I thought I'd edit Mr. Jefferson's document a little.

Click for Maximum Offensiveness

Guess this means Sean Hannity won't be inviting me to his picnic.

Of course I "Love My Country." But let's be real for a minute on this day and remember that the "Founding Fathers" would probably not have associated with you unless you wore a powdered wig and banged your slaves. It's fine to celebrate our past, but don't color history in such majestic and glorious shades that you repaint it entirely.

We still have a long way to go as a country. We are just as divided today as we were then. 40-45% of the colonists supported the rebellion. 15-20% of the population remained loyal to the British Crown and the remaining 35-45% attempted to remain neutral.

Overdosing on the Flag

Here's a screenshot of Sean Hannity's homepage. He's so handsome when he does the "squint into the distance" pose, don't you think? Note that you can sign up for "Hannidate," where you might meet the woman of your dreams. She bakes red, white and blue cakes and agrees with you completely that "The Architect" Karl Rove gets a bad rap from the liberal Commie press.

It's good we have Sean here in our country. Anywhere else he'd have been locked up. Or worse.

Spellcheck Next Time

This Houston protester...never mind.


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