The Gambler

Coffee With Jesus #78 - "Swimmer's Body"

I was talking to my Mom and Dad on the phone the other night. My mother is not a fan of these strips. She said, "I don't get them." My father said, "You've got some really good ones in there, but some of them are disjointed." I said, "You've never understood me! What do I have to do to earn your respect? Why can't you love me for who I am?" Not really. I said, "You're both a couple of idiots. Are you sure I wasn't adopted?" Not really. I actually just said, "Yeah."

Entire series is here.

Are you a fan of Radio Free Babylon on Facebook? Why not. Did you know that the more fans we have, the better we feel about ourselves, our pathetic existences somehow validated because you clicked a little button that said "Like"? It's good to be liked. Go Like us.

War on Drugs

Saw a commercial the other night where a dark cloud of depression is hovering over various people, even after they've already taken their antidepressants. So, basically, they were selling a booster to your antidepressant that would hopefully whisk that cloud away, provided you don't die from the possible side effects that take better than half the commercial to list.

Usually, I save these strips for "the other blog," but this one had cross-purposes. The entire "Coffee with Jesus" series can be found here.

Worship the Abs

Coffee With Jesus Volume I, No. 5

Mas grande via clickito

Coffee With Jesus - No. 4

Click.

Bleeding an Idea Dry: Coffee with Jesus #3

The Return of "Coffee With Jesus"

Clickage recommended.

Coffee With Jesus

Click it. Click it good.

Bad Puns To Wake You Up

I was in that sleep twilight state his morning when this came to me. Even in my sleep I can't avoid silly 4th grade humor.

Buy a dozen at the store.

Quit Bothering Jesus

Jennifer's been stalking Jesus with her Flip Video camera. He's getting tired of it.

I suppose I could write a lengthy essay on what this might mean, but I'll save that for another time and place.

Original image from the inspirational collection of the talented Roger Loveless.

Back to School! With Jesus!

Father, Forgive Them...

...for they know only what they hear on right wing radio.

Happy Easter (or Your Favorite Pagan Fertility Festival)

I Made You a Christmas Card

Make it Shine

Some faith groups don't mind when you poke a little fun at them, while others will cut your head off if you do. Any sour Christians out there wanting to issue a fatwa over this, please consult your Savior for how to properly respond.

This is So Very, Very Wrong

And so funny because it's so wrong. Taking religious satire to a whole new level is Pastor Shepherd of "The Prayer Hour." When I first saw this guy, I thought he was for real. Said a friend on Facebook: "He's so close to the read deal, it's scary."



You can view all of Pastor Shepherd's videos here, including a (typically psychotic) Gary Busey interview.

Soul-Wow!

When it comes to church advertising, almost all of it makes me want to puke. Heart-string tugging, little kids, sadness, despair, whatever - come on out to Life Center Faith Fellowship or Morningstar Community and get your fix of happy! (And come as you are, 'cause we're all hip like that, where cool boys play guitars while hot chicks sing for Jesus.)

On the other hand, this one is great. A timely, tongue-in-cheek spoof of the ShamWow dork. And from the Catholics, no less - not normally known for doing advertising beyond letting you know via vinyl banner that they're having a bingo night this Saturday.



Via.

On a somewhat related note, check out ShamWow guy - en Español!

Your Bad Joke for Good Friday

Much like Sick Tomato, this one's for the juveniles in the crowd.


Previously in "My Stunted Middle School Humor":
Bare-breasted Land O' Lakes Lady
Homemade Near-death Experience

Didn't Miss The Rapture

Oh, and for all you tools who think the world ends in 2012 because the stupid Mayan calender only goes that far, let's remember that the Mayans also practiced human sacrifice, so maybe their god wasn't much of a God after all.

Theories mixed with folklore mixed with a grab-bag of semi-truths and half-remembered sermons is not much to base your "faith" on.

Don't get me started...

Jesus Supports Your Agenda

For my 1,000th post here at Where's My Jetpack? - a simple Photoshop hack-job in honor of Patriot Day. He makes a fine Republican, doncha think? But he's still two years too young to be elected President.


(This is actually Dick Cheney's official portrait, with the classic Jesus painting head stuck on.)