Father, Forgive Them...

...for they know only what they hear on right wing radio.

The MSN Janitor Reaches The Sacred Chambers

Apocalyptic Proportions

Previously in this twisted series:

Revenge of the Google Janitor

The Google Janitor Defects to MSN

The Google Janitor Defects to MSN

Legible

The Answer is NO, Nothing is Sacred

On Obama's recent Middle-East tour, he left a prayer in the Wailing Wall, which was then removed and published in an Israeli newspaper. Some rabbis are rightfully outraged at the paper, but since it's out there, I'll go ahead and show it to you, found at the LA Times, which exonerates itself for publishing it with the headline, "Israeli Paper Publishes Obama Western Wall Prayer." Sure, LA Times, blame it on the Jews.

Now I will show you the prayer as interpreted by Sean Hannity.


As always, the extremely witty commenter community at Gawker is having fun with this story.

Finding the Antichrist on Google

This is my 666^th blog post here on Where's My Jetpack? So now is the perfect opportunity to engage in the time-honored practice millions of fringe religious groups, theologians and prophecy "scholars" have engaged in since Nero was impaling Christians around Rome and then setting their bodies aflame. (To my Christian readers: Tim LaHaye's Left Behind series is pure and utter Crap. With a capital "C.")

Using Google, I will type in the names of prominent figures along with the word "antichrist." (Example: Olsen twins + antichrist) and then display the number of search results for each query.

Results:

Ahmadinejad 39,400
McCain 102,000
Bush 133,000
Obama 176,000
Hillary 232,000
Clinton 443,000
Gates 563,000
Jobs 597,000

Based on these results, I predict that if Clinton gets the nomination of her party and goes on to defeat McCain, there will be human sacrifices on the South Lawn of the White House every full moon, as well as during the solstices and equinoxes - or as often as it shall please Her Majesty, the Anointed One.

I was surprised by Steve Jobs edging out Bill Gates as a possible antichrist.

Then again, here is a photo of Steve Jobs as a child.

One more thing: searching Google + antichrist netted 984,000 results, proving perhaps that one day we will all serve our evil master Google.

Yeah, you're right. We already do.

(To my Jewish readers: The Hebrew character that respresents the number "6" is the same character that represents the letter "w" right? So "www" equals "666." Cool, huh?)