Creepy Lurker Dads Watch Their Families Drive Away

Thanks to Paula for the link to this Flickr set.

The Dream of Solar Power - 1958

From Plan59. The caption on this illustration read: "The furnace is 93,000,000 miles away."

So, yeah. Keep dreaming.

The Gambler

Logo Creative Review

More messing around with the fun art of North Korean propaganda.

In this installment, the client plays the role he plays best, Supreme Dictator and Arbiter of All Things Creative. (click)

For Me, This is Like Peanut Butter and Chocolate

Combining two of my favorite things: old socialist propaganda illustrations and making fun of social media gurus and conferences. But now that I think about it, they really aren't that much different from one another, are they? Click image for better.

This is How They Fight Child Abuse in North Korea

You go ahead and change your Facebook profile picture to your favorite cartoon character and we'll see how many children don't get abused as a result of your effort, all you cause-of-the-week bandwagon jumpers. I'm sorry, I just don't see the point. How will talking about child abuse alter the behavior of child abusers? That's the point of the exercise, after all. You're supposed to be starting a conversation about child abuse via your Facebook profile picture. So, have you been talking about child abuse? Yeah, I didn't think so. The whole exercise seems a silly waste of time designed to make you feel good about yourself. I hope it worked. But I pity the children who get abused next week when you change your profile picture to reflect the latest cause du jour.

Meantime, here's a great propaganda poster from a North Korean collection. The caption reads, "She defeated a bad person who had been harassing children." Awesome. Say what you will about the crazy North Koreans, but even their young girls know how to combat child abuse way better than we do.

Socialists Don't Believe in Royalties

The cool thing about Chinese propaganda posters is they were almost always painted by an artist listed as "unknown" and they're done for a foreign communist government, so you're free to abuse the often stunning artwork without fear of legal reprisal and those pesky Cease and Desist letters. As noted on the website where I lifted these fine images:

"The designers/artists of the posters were employees of the art academies, museums, or publishers. During the high tide of socialism, it was seen as counterrevolutionary to exercise personal claims to the copyrights over the works. It would be safe to consider the academies, etc., as the copyright holders. Now, in our experience, these institutions do not exercise their copyrights for materials published in the period 1949-mid-1980s. With the Chinese adoption of the ISBN-system, all this has changed, of course." 

Some of the original wording on these is great stuff, like "Resolutely cut off the bloody and criminal hand of the American aggressor that spreads germs!" from 1952. Or this gem from 1950: "Family members, relatives and friends of criminal secret agents, you must supervise and urge criminals to register and turn over a new leaf!" And apparently there was a campaign to murder all the sparrows, which they did, only to be plagued by bed bugs.

So until the Chinese are your overlords and they put all of us who work in "the arts" either to death or to work in the propaganda sweatshops*, feel free to use these in your campaigns. (See what some have done here.)



* You think your Creative Director is a dick? Wait'll they're telling you EXACTLY what to design and write.

The Head of Zuckerberg and the Voice of Napolitano

Found this old illustration on Flickr and repurposed it for today's events. (It gets much bigger.)

End of Summer Sign

(It gets bigger.)

A Picture. A Thousand Words.

Having just completed a freelance assignment wherein I had to edit and organize a 24-page brochure, (I overestimated my time at 12 hours and delivered in a mere four, once again failing to master the subtle art of milking a job) I am now in need of a writing exercise. So I will write exactly 1000 words about the image found within the text below.


Back in the old days, there was apparently some sort of union of beer makers that promoted the general consumption of beer - any American beer - so long as you drank beer. Their true and main purpose was lobbying. They kept pressure on Congress to limit the taxation of beer. Like any good lobbying organization, they kept their constituency riled up for the fight. “Beer is your right. It is your God-given inheritance as a freeman of these great United States. You should enjoy it in health, just as Benjamin Franklin and Samuel Adams did.” (Historical note: It is said that none other than George Washington would ply voters with “strong beer.”)

The Association would place full-page ads in popular periodicals showing how much better life is when you have plenty of beer on hand. The organization operated much like the American Dairy Association, which doesn’t care what brand of milk you drink, just please support the dairy industry. The brewers were a cooperative lot in those days. During World War I, “the income tax replaced liquor taxes as the primary source of federal revenue,” and after promoting their beverage for over a hundred years - with a brief intermission during Prohibition - the Association disbanded in 1986. So apparently we can thank the lobbying efforts of this organization for limiting taxes on beer, but giving the government nowhere else to turn but to your income for money. That thought saddens me, making me want to drink a lot of beer right now.

This ad from the Association, apparently from the 1950s, gives us a whole lot to look at, with plenty of suggestions as to what is transpiring during this magical afternoon in a suburban garden that has been interrupted by a sudden spring shower. Like many great illustrations of that period, it tells a story, making you look deeper, inviting you to draw your own conclusions and assign your own roles to the players.

1) “Let’s just sit awhile.” The copy suggests that the beer said that. I doubt it. One of these two middle-aged planters uttered that phrase as the rain came down.

2) The “blocks of primary colors” style of décor, popular in the day, suggests that whoever lives here, likely the woman, is a person of taste, up with the times, her off-the-patio gardening room a pre-Ikea shrine to fastidious organization.

3) The illustrator has added what appear to be some cryptic writing and a drawing above the hanging yard implements in the gardening room. This is probably a hidden message known only to him and the copywriter. (I say “him” only because men dominated the field in those days.)

4) This last block of copy is awesome, making no bones about its call to action: “Wouldn’t you like a refreshing glass of beer or ale – say, right now?” Stop what you’re doing and go get some beer!

5) It was no oversight on the part of the artist not to include a wedding band on the woman. This is meant to intrigue you, leaving you to wonder why a woman of her age is not married. Divorced? Widowed? A professional who hasn’t wanted to “settle down” yet, despite all her sorority sisters having done so a decade and a half ago? You make your own story.

6) It has been raining long enough that the wheelbarrow is overflowing with water. Either this little party has been going on for some time or this is a freak storm that the couple isn’t really freaking out about.

7) Jim, or Ted, or Mike or Jack - some generic Anglo name of the day – is making it clear that he’s had a tough day and this beer is really what he needed, and perhaps a shoulder rub, if the lady would be so kind as to please take the hint.

8) Again, we are promoting any beer – green bottle, brown bottle, labels facing away from us – doesn’t matter, just drink any American beer. The lady keeps plenty of varieties on hand for occasions such as this.

9) I am not positive, but a tight zoom-in on the man’s wristwatch seems to indicate that the little hand is on the 12, big hand about 10 past. As long as it’s after noon, it’s beer time. Quit thinking of 5:00 PM as the time to drink. That was meant for wine and spirits. We’re talking beer here. Besides, this is probably Saturday or Sunday and you can have beer for breakfast on those days.

10) Again, the couple has been out here for some time, the cheese starting to curl and brown in the heat. They are too involved in this beer-drinking respite to have even bothered eating the cheese and crackers.

11) Sanitation be damned. These folks are in a party mood. They will throw caution to the wind and lay their dirty implements and gloves on the table with the cheese and crackers. They will also likely forgo the use of birth control later.

12) In order to be able to read the copy, the illustrator was asked not to color in the feet and the area under the table. Today they would just dial back the opacity or desaturate this section of the photograph, but this style shows you the art behind the work and was a trendy technique used by many illustrators of the period.

13) The drinking couple are getting flirtatious, her foot under his chair. And while we can’t see his left foot, it would appear from here that it is under her right knee, likely touching. Beer helps subordinate the inhibitions, the social lubricant that can turn an afternoon of gardening into a rainy-day romp in the sheets.

14) “America’s Beverage of Moderation” was how they used to say “Drink Responsibly.” I like their version better because it’s far more subtle and undemanding.

15) A nice little panel shows the American beer drinker that the brewers would prefer that you enjoy a foamy head on your beer. “Tastes even better that way!” Don’t tilt the glass.

(Word count: 1000)

The Art Teacher

Click for large.

Original image from this brilliant collector of old stuff.

To Photocopiers!

Last week's Mad Men ended with the office Christmas Party, but they forgot one thing. Original image found at a Flickr stream I will be frequenting. (Click for larger)

Facebook Pulp No. 4

OK, I think this little series can be retired now. Shark jumped.

Facebook Pulp No. 3

Facebook Pulp No. 2

And Kids Were Driving When They Could Reach the Gas Pedal

The year is 1955, and the "druggist," I believe they called him, is selling the youngsters a Zippo lighter for Dad. Or at least that's who the kids said the lighter was for.

Top line is left as it was, but the rest of the copy has been modified to reflect a changing society. As if a kid could even buy a lighter today.(Click for large.)

Original ad is here.

What The Writer and Artist Wanted to Say

The first time something I wrote actually got printed was when I sent a letter to Mad Magazine in 6th grade. I have not lost the stupid, childish humor yet. Nor do I ever intend to. (The kids, they grow up too fast.)

Here's an old Coke ad from some time ago. The original line is left intact. The rest is what I suspect the illustrator and the copywriter privately joked was how the ad should read. (Original ad is here. Click to read.)  

An Opinionated, Sexy History Book for Those Who Hate Studying

A dazzling pop-culture history of the 1960s. [Natasha Vargas-Cooper’s] zeal for detail is unparalleled. This is an opinionated, sexy history book for those who hate studying.  Penthouse

[Vargas-Cooper] focuses on advertising, design, film, literature, politics, sex, style and the workplace in order to probe ‘the most dramatic cultural shift in the 20th century’...the definitive companion book for the series.”
Publishers Weekly

Natasha-Vargas Cooper nails the 1960s and the ad industry during this fascinating era. A good, fast, joyful read.
Nina DiSesa, Chairman, McCann New York

Above illustration by Bernie Fuchs, an iconic artist of the Mad Men era. I knew little of him prior to contributing to Natasha's book, but now I understand why his drawings and paintings were considered so groundbreaking. I was privileged to write a short essay on the image below.

In other self-serving "I Wrote Something" news, see that Anthony Bourdain image to your right? Click on it to read my answer to the challenge, "What Does it Mean to Cook Well?" a silly essay contest to promote Bourdain's new book. I know how to start the grill and get the steak or chicken off before it burns, but I'm all about the $10,000 prize money, so vote for me.

Be Safe This Biscuit Season, Children

And always wear your biscuit helmet.



From Plan 59, a great place for retro oddities.