Creepy Lurker Dads Watch Their Families Drive Away

Thanks to Paula for the link to this Flickr set.

Wing Away, Free as a Skylark, And as Gay

(Click to read the copy.) Seems there was a time (1931) when you could sell a man on the free-wheeling nature of motorcycle riding by appealing to his wish to imitate the skylarks, and join the good, gay fellows who spend their play hours on Harley-Davidsons.

Thanks to Jumpin' Jimbo Cox for the tip.

Skype Spek

I've learned to love Skype, the telecommuter's dream, the satellite office's lifeline, the podcast producer's best friend. They need better ads. (Do they even place ads?)

Original 1964 ad from Bell Telephone System is here.

Previous Skype-related posts.

The Colors! The Fabrics! The Robots!

A casual search accidentally leads to this time-vault discovery of Pepsi's 1986 foray into the world of fashion. I don't recall dudes wearing leg-warmers, but maybe these guys are into the whole Flashdance scene. Guy on far right looks to be about finished molesting the woman next to him.

Retro Ad: It's Cold Outside. Let Ed Warm You Up.

The Mrs. and Ed are so dying to shed their clothes and have rocking chair sex that they'll let their little girls crawl into the fireplace. Ed sports those gradual tint glasses - and they're gradually tinting - 'cause he's wife so hot! I won't mock Ed's combover. That was very stylish back in his day.

My Favorite Propaganda Poster of All Time

I turned this into a refrigerator magnet, because it is so awesome. Simple and to the point: If you're not in a carpool, you're a Nazi.

I am Wolf-Boy, Hear me Howl

Retro ad time.

The old "Dude, be a man!" angle applied to the car that has always attracted men with insecurities. This one attempts to mock the dolts who drive sedans, station wagons and economy cars. Original copy, mostly. I've edited the third column.

Enhance the length and girth of this image

Previously in "I'm not a Corvette fan":

The Artificial Male Enhancer since 1953.

And The Girls Will Want to Fondle it, Too

This copy kills me as it speaks to your dad, taunting him to be a man, grow a set and buy a Honda. Ride this onto campus and you've got a guaranteed orgy with random women coming your way in very short order.

Not unlike the power of Axe Body Spray, come to think of it.

Click for bigness

We've Always Hated Advertising

Here's an old ad (1956) caught hating on ads. From the copy: "You can also shut off long, annoying commercials while picture remains on screen!" Now we call that the mute button. And under the close-up of the "flash tuner" we find this reassuring note: "Absolutely harmless to humans." Sorry about your comatose dog and the boiled fish in the aquarium. And I count no less than 7 exclamation points in the copy.

Uncomfortable sackcloth chair sold separately.

Click for natural image enhancement

Be Safe This Biscuit Season, Children

And always wear your biscuit helmet.



From Plan 59, a great place for retro oddities.

He Lives on the Moon, We May All Be There Soon

In honor of NASA's 50th birthday, and in anticipation of the long-awaited jetpack, enjoy this 1968 commercial for Mattel's Major Matt Mason. Note the intro and outro camera, the black and white kids playing with black and white action figures, as well as the copy and announcer trying to tell a compelling story, sometimes rhyming.

When Advertising Was Innocent

Nothing untoward or even mildly suggestive going on here. What? You've never seen a guy feeding a woman a hot dog? You've never seen another guy lurking creepily as another woman eats a hot dog? I really think you're reading too much into this innocent picnic scene from yesteryear.

Although, the dude without a date is really into that bottle as he reaches for a bunch of bananas.

Via.

That Elusive Bible College Demo

Matching sweaters? Check.
Matching white pants? Check.
Matching white socks? Check.
Matching white Keds^®? Check.

We're all set, Nancy! Let's go out to the woods on our bicycles and study the Bible on a split rail fence.

A quick check of the Keds website reveals they still have that iconic blue rubber logo. And judging by their new campaign, Be True, they know just who they want in a customer - who they've always had - very clean white chicks between the ages of 20 and 40 who want to be adventurous, but don't really want to be adventurous.

Image via.

My Kingdom for an (Iron) Horse

Hey, Delta has a blog!

And they're Green, Diverse, aware of Breast Cancer and doing what they can for the Poor.

Bases pretty well covered in their efforts to rebuild following bankruptcy.

Now, if they can do something about the smarmy treatment so prevalent with airlines.

From the ticket counter to security to the baggage claim, everything about flying just plain sucks. Come on , Amtrak, get your act on track.

UPDATE: HighJive notes in the comments that it's unlikely we'll see anything good out of Delta with this recent news.

Original 1970 image is via.

How About a Piping Hot Plate of Depression?

Click image to read copy.


Or as the original poster titled it: "Clean the House and Eat from a Can."

The ironing's done and you're hungry and alone. Treat yourself to some "tasty, nourishing spaghetti, in a savoury, cheese-flavoured tomato sauce."

Heinz will be your friend, you poor, lonely, miserable 1950s English homemaker.

Blow it Up! Again and Again

When men were men and trains were for war. Train to be a test pilot by learning to operate an electric train.



Why post this? Because you are more easily entertained by moving images than you are by the written word. And 'cause I have to get to work and this is easy.

Toddler Daughter Threatens Mom's Self-Esteem

Poor woman doesn't even have her own name. No wonder she's insecure. And she's married to the former Prime Minister of Australia. Mom here is so jealous of her little girl that she is now stealing her soap.



Via - because sometimes, blogging is too much work and I need to phone one in.

Side Effects May Include Death by Suffocation

Via

And She Shall Dance and Sing Aloud

Two more old ad oddities sites I've stumbled upon.

One is called Modern Mechanix. It's like some guy has inherited his grandfather's old magazine collection and sits for many hours a day scanning articles and ads, then writing out all the copy in each ad under the image. One man's obsession is your entertainment.

Another is Devil Duck which appears to grab from other sites more often than not but sprinkles in some unique weirdness.

15 Out of 15 Dairy Queen Customers are White

(And so is the lone guy working the store.) At least that was the case in 1960. On second thought, that might be Obama serving ice cream inside the DQ.

I'm sure many of you are familiar with Plan59, a great site of ancient advertising art. Laggard that I am, I only recently found it and spent too long perusing today when I was supposed to be crafting compelling copy. After viewing way too many images, I think I counted one person of color. He was a train porter serving Coca-Cola to a white family.

The site does remind you, however, that at one time (pre-Photoshop) being a "commercial artist" meant that you actually had to have some artistic skills.