Keith Stone: The Smoothest Slacker in the Neighborhood

Taking a cue from what "The Most Interesting Man in the World" did for Dos Equis, Keystone gives us a hero for a younger crowd. The director told the actor, "Need you to be Jack Black, with that over-the-top, deadpan confidence, smarmy and funny all at once," and the guy executed the role well. Many great moments in this :30, from, "Hold my stones," to the revelation of what it is he's rescuing from the tree. The guy even wears a Member's Only^TM style jacket. A nice effort for a beer that many regard as piss. But that's what advertising is about in many cases; putting a glossy coat of paint on something that is sub-par and getting guys to buy it. I can hear "Hold my stones" being repeated at many a frat party.

We've Always Hated Advertising

Here's an old ad (1956) caught hating on ads. From the copy: "You can also shut off long, annoying commercials while picture remains on screen!" Now we call that the mute button. And under the close-up of the "flash tuner" we find this reassuring note: "Absolutely harmless to humans." Sorry about your comatose dog and the boiled fish in the aquarium. And I count no less than 7 exclamation points in the copy.

Uncomfortable sackcloth chair sold separately.

Click for natural image enhancement

When a Rich Man Spends This Much Money...

...be wary

I can't watch TV without seeing this old guy's face warning me about our dependency on foreign oil.



So, just who is T. Boone Pickens? That's one Texas-styled name, isn't it? Learn more about him here.

Some highlights:

• Supported George W Bush
• Supported Rudy Giuliani
• Supported the Swift Boat effort against Kerry
• Corporate raider
• Chairs a hedge fund
• Was a frat boy
• Flirted with a presidential run
• Is pretty rich
  

On a positive note, he is devoted to philanthropy. In 2005, Mr. Pickens donated $165 million to Oklahoma State University. Interestingly, The New York Times noted that "the money spent less than an hour on December 30 in the account of the university's charity, O.S.U. Cowboy Golf Inc., before it was invested in a hedge fund controlled by Mr. Pickens, BP Capital Management."

I'm not saying riches make you a bad man. I'd love to be rich. But like T. Boone, I'd likely spend a lot of money looking after my own money. Whatever this guy is suggesting, keep in mind that it will benefit him.

Not Cute, Not Funny, Not Original

I hate these spots for AIG. The very tired concept of having children utter thoughts and words that they can't understand is not funny anymore. I'm not sure it ever was.



Here's another. And yet another.

Hahaha! Wasn't that cute? The cute, multinational kids were talking above their cute little heads and they seemed so precious doing it!

Maybe I'm not the target for this. It probably tested very well in focus groups of rich people with a stunted sense of humor.

Granted, the agency didn't go with the time-honored "old couple on the beach enjoying life in their twilight years," or "pensive yet reassured single mom wraps up her late-night financial computer work in time to kiss her darling child goodnight" or "graying business owner guy with a passion for some outdoor activity (fishing, rowing, jogging, cycling) shares financial wisdom with young son or daughter who will take over the business."

But still. These make me not laugh very heartily.

Betwixt Mine Eye (Groin) and Heart (Political Views)

In Twix's continuing series, "Need a Moment?" this new addition is timely and clever. Dude plays along with idealist chick's frustration with politics. Blogging ensues.



Title of Post Stolen from Bill Shakespeare.

The Sum of Four Primes

(193 + 197 + 199 + 211)

It is also:

• The original toll-free area code for telephone calls
  
• The international direct dial code for toll-free phone calls
• A film speed
  
• The flight number of a doomed TWA Flight
• The name of a lame old Atari home computer
• A perfect score on an individual section of the SAT test or on one of the SAT Subject Tests
• The distance in meters of a track and field event
  
• The year in which Charlemagne was crowned Emperor by Pope Leo III, beginning the Holy Roman Empire
  
• The number of blog posts at "Where's My Jetpack?" as of this post.

By the way, advertisers, it is completely unnecessary, nay, completely retarded for you to tell us that there is a "1" in front of "800" when you print or speak your client's toll-free number. It's 2008. Most of us have figured out how to use the damn phone.

Jetpack Shat

The new Priceline spot with His Royal Shatness jetting to the aid of some ladies via jetpack and pulling the old "triplets in a carriage" routine to distract them. He also speaks lemur.

Bug Thugs

I don't know who's doing the Orkin TV ads, but the approach is fresh and funny. (UPDATE: Wondergood informs me that it's The Richards Group of Dallas.) The series is called "Unwelcome Visitors." This ad's title is Broken Down. The success of the production is all in the voice of the bug.



Another equally well-done ad is called Pizza Delivery. See it here.

Someone Better Alert the Disney Attorneys

North of the Gold and Ivory Coasts of Africa is The Gambia, (or simply: Gambia) a small country consisting mainly of The Gambia River.

Gambia also has an amusement park called Dream Park, where a couple of costumed hosts (a lanky Santa Claus and a very familiar mouse) welcome you to enjoy the thrilling rides and fun-filled activities.

Oh, YouTube, What did we do before you came along?

Whatcha Gonna Dew?

When you're flirting with making advertising a career, you dream of creating commercials for big names like Coke and Apple. You imagine award-winning two-page spreads for Nike or Levi's. Later, you find yourself writing heavily optimized web copy for health insurance companies and producing commercials for personal injury attorneys in which the attorneys insist on starring. And one of them really wants to deliver the line, "Hablamos Español," in the whitest accent ever heard.

I'm glad someone is having some fun with the new Diet Mountain Dew commercials, in which little known facts are presented in funny ways.



Another good one, "Lightning" is here.

What can you say about carbonated beverages that hasn't been said? The only angle left is humor in a WTF way. At best, you create thirst in the viewer (which is what Coke always does for me) and at least you make the humor memorable enough that the viewer recalls your brand when he's staring at the cooler in the convenience store. I'm probably never going to drink a diet Mountain Dew, but I remembered the brand behind the commercial that made me laugh, which is more than you can say for most commercials.

Peace Between Enemies

No, not Hillary and Obama. Fans of Ohio State and Michigan, or USC and UCLA find reasons not to hate each other in this spot for Sheraton Hotels and Resorts (in a tie-in to the upcoming NCAA Basketball Finals). It's nice to see a hotel ad that isn't catering to the clichéd lonely business traveler in need of wireless Internet or the happy vacationing family frolicking in the pool.



The final scene is a little much, as I'm sure the Syracuse fan wiping ranch dressing from the Georgetown fan's mouth would result in a beat down even if they were rooting for the same team. Maybe that slightly gay moment was left in to compensate for the homophobic umbrella scene between the UNC guy and the Duke fan.

Spots That Make You Go, "Uh..."

I enjoy a nice cold Kirin beer if I'm at the sushi bar. As they say, "When in Tokyo." (It's got a slight pear aroma with a sweet, smooth not-too-heavy draw. And I have no idea what that means, but it seems apt.)

This commercial, while well done, (and likely lost on me as I do not hablo Japonés) seems to be trying to strum a thousand different heart strings at once. I count: family, working man, youth, generational divide, culture, society, beauty, striving and longing - at least. Any interpretations that might shed light are welcome.

If This Van's Rockin

This is from late last year, but I love the concept. Old 70s airbrushed van art comes to life. You've got Viking guy, tiger-riding lady with a giant afro, unicorn-riding princess, and wizard in a crazy airbrushed old-school animation for Honda Odyssey's "Respect the Van" campaign. From agency RPA. The animation was created by Nylon Motion.



These were the kinds of vans that you saw on the street as a child and knew to steer clear of, because only drug dealers or child molesters would drive such things.

"Hot Enough for Ya?"

Ah, the boring weather/sports conversations in the elevator with people you don't know. I just put on a gameshow host voice and say with a cheesy smile, "Yes. It certainly is! And how about those Mets?"

Bad segue alert!!!

Speaking of the weather, Bryant Heating and Cooling apparently found a bunch of money to throw at some CGI, featuring their mascot Bryantman doing battle with the evil Scorcher.



Never was into comic books. I was more of a Mad and Cracked kid. But this is pretty good. I mean, how do you sell Heating and Cooling? It's for hot weather and cold weather. What are you gonna do, show some happy family keeping cool or warm indoors? Boring. Why not play it up in a fashion that will have people remembering your name? And of course, as is now advertising law, there's an accompanying microsite for the kids, where you can download PDFs of coloring pages.

You can catch the winter version of this comic book theme here, where Bryantman battles Bone Chiller, who's got this pretty cool (ha!) Glam-Punk thing going on.

No idea on the agency and no, I'm not being paid to say nice things about Bryant.

UPDATE: Agency is MarcUSA who prove with their website that if you have to do the Flash thing on your agency site, you can do it differently than the now-too-trendy "just TRY to find our links" style.