No Two Alike

I like to dabble. Today I will be a T-shirt designer. I can see a day when we will all just advertise ourselves 24/7. You'll have your Twitter handle on the back of your car as a bumper sticker. And this will be called the Twit Shirt. You can wear your own customized Twit Shirt to that social media conference, around the office, or if you're very daring and don't mind stalkers, out on the town late at night. Aren't we all becoming branded anyway?

(If there's an entrepreneurial sort out there who wants to jump on this with me and make a few bucks selling Twit Shirts, my Twitter name is right there on my Twit Shirt. I hope you have a giant T-shirt factory that can print single-order T-shirts at a profit.)

The Colors! The Fabrics! The Robots!

A casual search accidentally leads to this time-vault discovery of Pepsi's 1986 foray into the world of fashion. I don't recall dudes wearing leg-warmers, but maybe these guys are into the whole Flashdance scene. Guy on far right looks to be about finished molesting the woman next to him.

Clothes You Could Eat - Part II

Ahhh, Abercrombie, the status piece for the too hip to know any better; so hip they don't even need to wear the clothes in the ads or catalogs.

The A&F logo says only, "I shop at Abercrombie and I'm an Abercrombie billboard." I've created a better one. This one says "I'm toasty and warm in a Holiday Way." Buy one for the lady in your life. She'll say, "Thank you... freak."

More holiday food clothing brand rip-offs here

And An Icemaker in the Refrigerator Door!

Today in Fashion

Anorexic supermodel Barack Obama glides down the catwalk in Denver in a Socialist Muslim black suit sans tie, while new star Sarah Palin models the "Real American" look with new jeans in Virginia.

Girl, Eat Something

I'm pretty sure your boyfriend won't mind if you put on a couple pounds. Go on, have a light dressing on that salad, or some skim milk on your 1/2 cup of Special K.

Cigarettes and vodka make for an unhealthy diet.

That Elusive Bible College Demo

Matching sweaters? Check.
Matching white pants? Check.
Matching white socks? Check.
Matching white Keds^®? Check.

We're all set, Nancy! Let's go out to the woods on our bicycles and study the Bible on a split rail fence.

A quick check of the Keds website reveals they still have that iconic blue rubber logo. And judging by their new campaign, Be True, they know just who they want in a customer - who they've always had - very clean white chicks between the ages of 20 and 40 who want to be adventurous, but don't really want to be adventurous.

Image via.

Stupid Obama Clones

I saw a picture in the paper yesterday of a bunch of NATO leaders getting ready for a group photo. Standing at center was a very lonely looking President Bush. I almost felt bad for him. He was like some outcast and friendless child.

Then I realized what was really going on.




Click to Supersize

Young John Kerry Models Revived Members Only™ Jacket

It shouldn't have happened, but another 80s style is coming back, as seen in this ad for Ralph Lauren's new "Tech Jacket." Ralph did away with the epaulettes and gave it a tapered look, but there's something eerily familiar in that nylon sheen.

Watch an old Members Only commercial, just to start your week off with a cringe. You're welcome.

Release Your Inner Stripper

Not living in New York or LA, I don't know this store (shop, boutique, designer) so I can't even be sure what is being sold. The shoes, the bag, the black...thing...the models are wearing?

It doesn't matter. They are really selling a brand, a mood, a mystique, an attitude. And I'm sure it works on the demo targeted. I'm seeing Paris Hilton and the Olsen Twins.

Scamp did some nice work for Levi's where it's all about attitude and mystique. You know what Levi's are, what they mean. So the product doesn't even need to be in the ads.

Harley-Davidson could take a clue.

Previously in "Stranger Than Fashion"

Pink Shirted Soccer Team
Chicks Dig Stuffed Animals
Crocs: Just Say No
Androgyny Won't Go Away
ChuckTaylor Rolls in His Grave
On a Fashion Shoot

Scanned from The New York Times Magazine

You'd Never See a (US) Football Team in These

Orlando is a melting pot of cultures, and it is not uncommon to spot groups of men from Latin America, Europe, the Caribbean and the Middle East playing soccer on the weekends. This team, walking off the field in their pink jerseys, kind of stood out in the crowd. I'm betting they lost.
Photographed at Sylvan Lake Park.

The Clothes are Secondary

Fun with Fashion.

The latest installment in the clip art comic strip called "Where's My Jetpack?"

Chicks Dig Stuffed Animals

Click for bigness and a better look at the cartoonish head. Copy reads: "Lee can change your image."

Rejected copy: "Tired of being seen as a pussy? Lee's new TestosteronePants^® will let the ladies know you're a virile beast. King of her jungle."


Via

I'm Warning You

Ladies: You can wear these if you want. So can children. I'm talking to men. Guys, if you have these in your wardrobe, I'm guessing you work in new media and think you're really smart.

In three years, you will cringe at the memory of wearing these. You probably won't even admit it to your children.

Or maybe I'm just a laggard when it comes to fashion. Still, I can't see the appeal. And I can't ever see these on my feet.

People Dressed in Plastic Bags - Directing Traffic

New York Fashion (or Paris, London, etc) is way beyond me, and so is the androgyny trend in men's fashion advertising. In yesterday's NYT Style magazine, there are way too many ads like this one.

And this guy is one of the more masculine gents portrayed.

What's in the big white purse, dude?

Stranger Than Fashion

Will The Real Chuck Taylor Please Roll Over in His Grave

I guess the point of all the D&G, John Varvatos, Casare Paciotti, etc. ads for stuff I will never buy is to cause the viewer to go, "What? Wait. Ummm. That's disturbing. Disturbingly artistic. Artistically disturbed. Nice photo of a weird situation. Unexplainable. I'll bet those clothes (shoes, jewelry) are expensive."

That's all it says to me. I see an ad like this, and I know I can't afford to play in this store. And I really hate it when a nice, storied brand gets taken into the realm of ultra-hip fashion. Example: Converse's Chuck Taylors were not meant to be expensive, designer shoes. But if they have John Varvatos' name on them, they double in price. And they get pictured in such bizare situations as the woman on the park picnic table holding a gallon of water as she's molested by a reject from a Clash cover band. She emits a jet of water from her lips while a hapless third member of the party apparently ruins the burgers in the background. Someone has written "sexy mess" on the picnic table bench. The copywriter worked hard on that line: Get Chucked.

Yeah? Chuck you, John Varvatos.

Chuck Taylors are eternallly cool. They've been in fashion, in one way or another, since the 1930s. But the fashion-conscious shallownistas can wear them now without feeling like they're slumming.

Mr. Varvatos, you are too artistic [expensive] for me. I just want normal Chuck Taylors. I'd prefer they not be associated with you.