Thursday, April 22, 2010

Larry King's Forthcoming Sex Tape (and Everything Tastes Like Chicken)

It was my pleasure to hang out for an hour or so yesterday with Bill Green of Make The Logo Bigger, the most prolific, insightful and WTF-inist blogger in our industry, and Her Excellency, the excellent expatriate Angela Natividad, of Live and Uncensored, on the 28th edition of AdVerve.

We hardly touched on industry news, which was fine with me, but strayed into just about everything else. Though I've never personally met either of these fine people, it was like having lunch with old friends. At a very large table that stretches from Paris to Bridgeport to Orlando. If Bill could add some restaurant sound effects to the podcast, you'd never know we weren't all in the same room, such is the clarity of Skype. Sometimes. When it decides to work. But such are the inconveniences of free stuff. As Bill's Skype profile reads, "Everything is amazing and no one is happy. Take Skype for example." (Angela's reads, "I have some wonderful hams for you.")

While I'm pretty sure no one even listens to podcasts anymore (JOKE, guys, though I gave up on my own in 2006 and predicted the death of the corporate podcast in 2007) you can download or stream Angela and Bill's "AdVerve" over at their site. And even though I likely come across as a cynical bastard with a grim outlook, I would happily do it again.

Labels: , , , , , ,

Bookmark and Share

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Skype Spek

I've learned to love Skype, the telecommuter's dream, the satellite office's lifeline, the podcast producer's best friend. They need better ads. (Do they even place ads?)


Original 1964 ad from Bell Telephone System is here.

Previous Skype-related posts.





Labels: , , , , , , , ,

Bookmark and Share

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Until We Meet Again

The traditional meeting business has long suffered due to sites like GoToMeeting. Or due to improvements in tools like Skype. Or tools like the telephone. Still, there are the old-school types who prefer to do business the old-fashioned way: at a hotel - in a conference room - with pitchers of ice water and carafes of bad coffee - with stale danish and cloth napkins - with a projector so you can watch a Powerpoint presentation. Don't forget the always clean rest rooms and the helpful staff. Make sure to wear your best meeting clothes. And book a flight. And get a room. And don't party too much the night before the meeting. While in the meeting, take plenty of notes on a pad of paper, because the printed handout of the Powerpoint presentation is not enough to show you are pretending to be interested. If you raise your hand to ask a question, you just might hear, "Let's discuss this more offline," because meeting in person is somehow "online." But "face time," the proponents of traditional meetings argue, "is important." I agree. That's why Skype has video.

Hyatt, borrowing a concept from Demotivators, placed this ad in today's New York Times, hoping you will hold your next meeting with them. Their tagline is "Great Happens," with the subtag "When People Get Together." It's one of those over-the-top pledges that means nothing and promises everything. It's all explained in vague detail at Hyatt Meetings, with nice pictures of the helpful staff setting the conference room table with pitchers of ice water and cloth napkins.

Cute execution. Nice skewer of the traditional corporate poster, except that it's in promotion of a traditional corporate practice. 

Previously in Motivating The Troops with Buzzwords:
There is no "U" in "Team."


Labels: , , , , , , ,

Bookmark and Share

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Oh Yeah. And Why I'm Not Skyping Either

Skype. Another victim of the get-rich-quick, look-at-me-naked SPAM crowd, as proven here by "Gnishilda."




Labels: , , , ,

Bookmark and Share

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Face It: There are Too Many Social Options

Got this auto IM this morning from Facebook. I was apparently invited to join by a colleague.

I'm on MySpace in two places. I'm on LinkedIn. I've got Skype. I signed up for Twitter, but in order to put it on this blog I'd have to change my template, which would be a pain given all the mods I made to this template. I'm on AdGabber, a service of Ning. I've got 4 separate screennames on AIM. I get email on Google, Yahoo!, my local provider at home and two different work accounts. I also have dormant accounts at LiveJournal, GarageBand, PureVolume and a few more. I'm signed on to a few forums and stay updated on too many blogs. I just don't want to keep track of one more social media hotspot. I don't care what you're doing 24/7. Nor should you care what I'm doing.

Can we leave some places for the high school & college kids? Must we invade every place and turn it into another noisy midway of carnival barkers, driving the kids elsewhere again? Aren't you guys connected enough? I think some of you would die if you unplugged.

(And I will never play in Second Life. My first life is busy enough.)

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Bookmark and Share

Sunday, July 29, 2007

The Revolution Hasn't Happened Yet

AT&T, Sprint, Verizon: they all talk about "Now headquarters is wherever YOU are." They show the busy business people on the bus, at the golf course, in the airport, at the restaurant - all around the world, spreading the word - getting business done by laptop, mobile device and brain implant transponder.

But still - telecommuting is slow to take off. Why? Lots of reasons, but the biggest I suspect, is trust. Or rather, distrust. If your colleagues can't see you, they assume you're goofing off. Well, at least the dishonest ones assume that - because that's what they'd do if they worked from home.

I worked well from home when it was an option. Not so well on a mobile device or from the golf course (never touched a club in my life) but as long as I've got my high-speed connection here at the casa or on my laptop, what's it matter where I am? I can shoot an email to you just as fast from here as if I were down the hall in a cubicle. Sure, we can't have a face-to-face brainstorming session, but you drink your coffee, I'll load up here, then we can get on the phone and toss some ideas back and forth. If we really got smart and invested a couple hundred bucks, we could set up cameras, then you could watch me and make sure I'm working, or we could have that face-to-face brainstorming session via cable. We can put on the headsets and talk over Skype. Without a commute, my workday started at 7 AM. I can put in more hours at home than I can in an office. And I'll be honest; in those hours I might climb on my bike and take a couple mile journey just to get out and clear my head. But how is that any different than taking my lunch break to work out in the company gym? Did I meet my deadlines? Was the client happy? So, what's your problem?

The cubicle was meant for animals. It’s a kennel. The cubicle was meant for robots and slaves.

Who is the evil genius responsible for this design and who are the salesmen who sold it? Who are the corporate heads that bought into it and why are they still in power? When we find these people, we need to send them off to some sort of camp, along with the purveyors of florescent lights, the builders of time clocks and sellers of the software that does the job of a time clock. Let's also get the people who invented the magnetic company badge that opens the door to your highly classified workplace. We'll put them all out in the middle of nowhere where they won’t disable the creativity of the American worker anymore. Put them in cubicles with fluorescent lighting and make them clock out when they want a drink or a smoke or they need to take a leak. Treat them like animals, cattle, robots. Give them “benefits” that they can’t walk away from. Health, dental, 401K.

Employers can’t trust their cattle to work from home.The employer and manager require dictatorial control and micromanaging of tasks. They need to have meetings about meetings in preparation for the meeting, where they will present a Powerpoint deck about the upcoming meeting. They want dress codes and time clocks. A few have started what they think is a revolution: they've set up teepees and canoes in which they hold meetings. Or maybe they call them pow-wows. Quaint. Cute.

How to sell this notion of telecommuting to the powers that be? Here's something they can understand: drag into this conversation America's favorite worry-du-jour: Global warming. Let's make all these talkers and squawkers prove they really care. Employers could save millions on scaling down their office space, taking advantage of the technology that is available to them right now. We can give employers willing to take part in a telecommuting plan special government incentives, as they will also be contributing to a national traffic solution and "keeping our planet clean for the children of the future." (Choke back the tears, corporate spokeswoman.) Traffic is out of hand in most American cities, and most of it is due to throngs of office workers reporting for cattle call. Gas prices, carbon emissions, etc, etc.

Employers are always dreaming up new ways to make their employees happier. So they invest thousands in the company gym that no one uses, or they offer you Snapple, foosball, corporate daycare and ergonomic keyboards. Save the money. Let your people work from home. That would make many of them happy, and likely more productive. Here's a neat benefit: no more sick days. Unless someone's dying, they can get their ass out of bed and over to the computer to make sure the report they promised by 11:00 AM is where it needs to be.

Many jobs just can't be done remotely - retail, factory, education - but millions can. And while some people enjoy the social environment and interaction of an office, many of us don't. For those who don't, options are available now that would enable us to produce quality work, no matter where we are. Just ask AT&T, Sprint or Verizon.

But it's not going to be a reality anytime soon. You just can't be trusted to do your job out of sight of your corporate masters.

Labels: , , , , , ,

Bookmark and Share