You're Not THAT Important: Put Your Phone Down

Nothing says "I'm not paying attention" like texting during a meeting or a presentation, yet it happens all the time among the higher-ups when the lower folk are presenting. You get the occasional "Um-hmm" or "Uh-huh" uttered as their eyes never look up.

It's common courtesy. If I had my phone out and was furiously typing an email or texting when it's your turn to speak, you'd have a talk with my boss as soon as the meeting was over. If your job is so stressful and packed with work that you can't sit through a 10-minute presentation with your full attention on the presenter, then maybe you should tell your higher-ups that you need some assistance.

I'm presenting for your benefit, because you asked me to, because you want to see this piece before it moves on, so how about you LOOK at it. Can't that email wait?

Though something tells me you aren't even doing work-related things as your fingers tap away.

Hope you got high score.

Until We Meet Again

The traditional meeting business has long suffered due to sites like GoToMeeting. Or due to improvements in tools like Skype. Or tools like the telephone. Still, there are the old-school types who prefer to do business the old-fashioned way: at a hotel - in a conference room - with pitchers of ice water and carafes of bad coffee - with stale danish and cloth napkins - with a projector so you can watch a Powerpoint presentation. Don't forget the always clean rest rooms and the helpful staff. Make sure to wear your best meeting clothes. And book a flight. And get a room. And don't party too much the night before the meeting. While in the meeting, take plenty of notes on a pad of paper, because the printed handout of the Powerpoint presentation is not enough to show you are pretending to be interested. If you raise your hand to ask a question, you just might hear, "Let's discuss this more offline," because meeting in person is somehow "online." But "face time," the proponents of traditional meetings argue, "is important." I agree. That's why Skype has video.

Hyatt, borrowing a concept from Demotivators, placed this ad in today's New York Times, hoping you will hold your next meeting with them. Their tagline is "Great Happens," with the subtag "When People Get Together." It's one of those over-the-top pledges that means nothing and promises everything. It's all explained in vague detail at Hyatt Meetings, with nice pictures of the helpful staff setting the conference room table with pitchers of ice water and cloth napkins.

Cute execution. Nice skewer of the traditional corporate poster, except that it's in promotion of a traditional corporate practice. 

Previously in Motivating The Troops with Buzzwords:
There is no "U" in "Team."

Notes on a Meeting - #10

As long as you are writing during a meeting, your colleagues assume you are paying attention. Unfortunately, sometimes what they're saying isn't really worth listening to. That's when you doodle.

The following fictitious character in no way represents anyone I work with, or anyone who was in a recent meeting, or anyone I've ever worked with. Or anyone you work with, or know. Or whom you have ever known. Any semblance of the following fictitious character to any person, either living or dead, is purely coincidental and is completely in the imagination of the person who thinks it's them.



Previously in Notes on a Meeting

I Don't Disagree. In Fact, I'm Mostly in Agreeance.

Main Entry: agreeance
Part of Speech: n
Definition: the act of agreeing
Example: Usage of the site constitutes agreeance with these terms.
Usage: considered obsolete and a bastardization of 'agreement'

Don't be a bastard.

The King's House

No, not Graceland (Elvis was overrated). It's BK headquarters in Miami from my hotel room. Somewhere in this building someone approved the CP+B idea to put a man in tights and a giant plastic king head, thus creeping out the world for the next three years. (And making them laugh, which could possibly equal success. Only the failure of The Whopper's arch-revial the Baconator will tell. )

No, I'm not working with BK; in Miami with my new job for another reputable (yet undisclosed) client. First day on the job. So far, so good.

Have been met with at least three incredulous, "You've never been to Miami?" comments today. Sadly, no. Not sure why I had put it off. Just no reason to be here before, I guess. Seems to be a great city. I thought Orlando was a melting pot. This place is extremely diverse/cosmopolitan, in a very cool way.

I'm sure that's just the newness. I could be in Cleveland or Lubbock or Lansing and probably say, "This is a cool place!"

Notes on a Meeting—#8

Look, if you don't need glasses, why wear them? Someone in Amsterdam or Stuttgart or Copenhagen started this trend, and now it is rampant in agencies worldwide. You don't look more creative with these things. You just look like you're from Amsterdam or Stuttgart or Copenhagen.

From this morning's production meeting.

Previously in Notes on a Meeting.

Notes on a Meeting #8 - Fake It

A couple more characters for the comic strip. These are "The Fakers." They're not exclusive to office environments. I'm sure you know a few. But really, this type is easier to deal with than the constantly-down "Moper," forever depressing everyone with sad tales of real life trouble. In our superficial culture, when we ask, "How's it going?" we don't really want to hear anything besides, "Fine." It's a greeting, not an invitation to unload.
Follow the trail of "Notes on a Meeting."

Local Losers Only

The local Ad Fed, in association with some other PR and marketing groups, is putting together what they call "The Ultimate Mixer" tomorrow evening in downtown Orlando. Drinks, food, exchanging of business cards, talking about the ROI of Direct Mail, SPAM, etc.

I don't like these things, but I'll be there, current circumstances dictating. If you're looking for a writer (freelance or full time) or perhaps a VP of Blogging, bring your offer and a picture of my expansive future office. (Or if you're just an Orlando ad hack like me and you want to talk about all these loser ad hacks surrounding us, that'll work, too.)

I'll be the guy in the corner building little houses out of swizzle sticks and cocktail napkins. I'll be handing out these cards.(If you aren't in these parts and you believe in the power of technology to unite distant collaborators, shoot me an e.)

Notes on a Meeting #7

A mock ad, unfinished in Photoshop after doodling in a Monday morning production meeting, featuring a new character in the growing cast. He's male model "Vance." (Known in the industry as "Fancy Pants Vance.") Vance does double-duty in this cross-promotion for Fancy Pants Luxury Chronographs and The Barry Obama Collection^TM.

click for larger

Previously in "Notes on a Meeting."

Previously in "Your Watch Doesn't Make you a Man."

Notes on a Meeting #6

I've got Joe The Plumber on the brain. Joe's words have been censored, as he was uttering some cliché sexual innuendo involving pipes. Next to Joe is "Star," or "Li'l Star," or "Starry," or "Starface," the busy little mascot of just about everything.

Follow the trail of "Notes on a Meeting" here.

Notes on a Meeting, #2

A meeting this afternoon, and in this one a new character was created.
"Anne Estes, AE." Tagline: She's Gettin' It Done



Previously in "Notes on a Meeting"

Notes on a Meeting

You know those people who take fervent notes throughout a meeting? They're the same people who highlight passages in books to the point that most of the book is highlighted. You want to tell them, "Hey, why not just get a bucket of liquid highlighter and dip the whole book in it?"

If I do take notes in a meeting, it's rare that I will ever go back to them. And when I take notes, I invariably create some random one-time character who stares back at me from the notebook, usually mocking my career choice or someone in the meeting who has gone on for far too long. Today, the character is SUMBITCH^TM, some sort of cowboy, who can't fathom what I do or why I do it.