Blind Taste Tests Don't Lie

Landscaper Ronnie Reed, hard-partying father of six and Coca-Cola connoisseur, went to Wendy's and tried a Coke Zero. He was not impressed.

Pure, Wholesome Refreshment

Return with me now to a simpler time, to another era of economic disaster, when life as an advertiser meant just telling blatant lies about your client's product. Listen as Coke is positioned as the end of all your suffering, the unifier of the masses, the common bond that will take us to a shining city on a hill.

Lincoln Couldn't Cut It

Biggest

This comic was inspired by an actual event that took place yesterday: I foolishly believed the advertising Coke has been using to sell Coke Zero. I tried a Coke Zero, expecting it to taste like real Coke. It did not. At all.

Futbol Should Be Like This More Often

I'd watch your "International" sport if it had more moments like this.



(Also liking the yellow Coca-Cola logo behind the goal.)

15 Out of 15 Dairy Queen Customers are White

(And so is the lone guy working the store.) At least that was the case in 1960. On second thought, that might be Obama serving ice cream inside the DQ.

I'm sure many of you are familiar with Plan59, a great site of ancient advertising art. Laggard that I am, I only recently found it and spent too long perusing today when I was supposed to be crafting compelling copy. After viewing way too many images, I think I counted one person of color. He was a train porter serving Coca-Cola to a white family.

The site does remind you, however, that at one time (pre-Photoshop) being a "commercial artist" meant that you actually had to have some artistic skills.

Vitalizes Body and Mind

Browsing through the collection of photographs at the New York Times store, I thought this one was interesting. Theodore Roosevelt in Chicago, 1915, passing under an ad for some energy drink.

There is nothing new under the sun. Of course, this was probably when it contained cocaine.


El click por mas grande









You know that history repeats itself - what you just done so has somebody else.

They're CHIPS, for God's Sake

I just don't know what to make of this. Aside from sticking the song "Kiss Me" (minus vocals) in my head, which I don't necessarily mind, I'm finding this effort by Sun Chips just a bit strange. Why is everyone out to change the planet in the name of selling something? Live Brightly? I just wanted some chips, thanks anyway.

Personally, I enjoy the delicious taste and crispy freshness of SunChips® brand multigrain snacks from Frito-Lay®, but am I going to jump on board your new effort to change the world with "small steps?"

I've got no problem with people wanting to do nice things and make the world a better place, but THEY'RE CHIPS. It's not a religion.

Please don't get me wrong; I think the notion of Live Brightly is actually a pretty cool idea. But...THEY'RE CHIPS.

And all this chip talk is making me thirsty for an ice cold Coca-Cola®. In fact.....

I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to buy the world a Coke
And keep it company
That's the real thing.

(Chorus 2)
What the world wants today
Coca-Cola (background)
Is the real thing

(Repeat chorus 2)
What the world wants today
Coca-Cola (background)
Is the real thing

More Heat Than (Available) Light

Insert your Ice Cold Beverage Ad Here

(Weepy blues guitar, with plenty of sweaty sting. Slinky, funky highhat w/ kick and snare joins in with slutty, nasty bass at about :15. Narrator is male or female, tired, nearly pissed off. )

That kind of day, when stepping out of the safety of the AC for a couple of seconds causes your hair to become wet underneath as your shirt gains weight from the soaked-up moisture, gushing from pores you never knew could sweat; when the promise of momentary cooling from an afternoon scattered shower just misses your neighborhood by a zip code; when relief is your head submerged in a not-cool-enough pool, and coming up for breath means beads of perspiration forming on your forehead as soon as your face hits the air; when as the sun is finally and slowly diving, casting light through your neighbor's sprinklers, you run and grab the camera, convinced you are seeing God's Light, when in truth you are just temporarily delusional, hallucinating from exposure; when standing over a grill in the evening to test your just-invented but never-attempted Lime & Pepper Breast of Chicken™ might be likened to fishing in a molten lava river. In midsummer. In Hell.

And... logo.
(Coca-Cola, Corona, Dasani, etc.)

The Most Effective Logo on Earth

At least today. It's kind of hot out this afternoon and this logo is really tempting me to go to 7-11 right now and guzzle an ice cold coke. (In a glass bottle.)

This logo has for years and years made people's mouths water. It's the icy cold water droplets. It's the remembrance of that fresh taste. It's the familiarity of the type.

But it's Friday. I dont feel like going anywhere right now. Settling for a giant can of Foster's. Really cold.