Was it Racist or Just Plain Retarded? Of Douches and Dummies.

SENSITIVITY DISCLAIMER:
The title of this post is not meant in any way to offend my many mentally challenged readers, so please stop being such fags.

SENSITIVITY DISCLAIMER II:
The disclaimer above was not meant in any way to offend my many gay readers. I defer to Louis CK.

The trouble the Richards Group finds itself in over the "Hail to the V" campaign for Summer's Eve is mostly because of the stereotyping of Black and Hispanic women. References to spending time on their hair or leopard thongs have been deemed insensitive. For me, the campaign is just stupid. "We'll have hand puppets mimicking vaginas!" someone told the Summer's Eve people. "OK," said the Summer's Eve rep, "But make sure you have a Black puppet and a Hispanic puppet."

It's got to suck when your agency lands an account like Summer's Eve. Some poor copywriter in Dallas got handed a brief that read, "Make the product appealing to a broad range of women, with emphasis toward Blacks and Hispanics. Client prefers a fresh, humorous voice. Need a campaign title and corresponding microsite that expresses the power and pride of having a vagina." That poor copywriter was probably a white girl and she is probably not putting "Hail to the V" in her book. Any guys working on that account were teased at lunch by the other guys in the shop, "Hey, Alan. You working on the Summer's Eve account, right?" And the whole table explodes with laughter as they repeatedly call Alan a douche.

I think the stereotyping charge, while valid, clouds the broader problem that the whole approach was just off. This is not a product where humor really works. But as long as the issue is that one hand puppet is a Black stereotype and another is a Latina stereotype, let's talk about that. I used to do voiceover (and will still if anyone wants me to) and as far as I can tell, Richards used a Black woman and a Latina for the roles of the talking vagina puppets.

I've probably pointed this out here before, but when will the stereotyping of Italians stop in advertising? Seems every local pizza joint has a mama saying, "Eat, Eat!" or a mafioso wannabe threatening you with violence. Rarely are the actors playing these roles actually Italian. And how about those bad Irish accented ads around St. Pat's day? They all sound like leprechauns. Jamaicans can't catch a break in advertising either, with some dork doing his "mon" voice for an ad for a beach bar. But for whatever reason, those stereotypes persist and no one really gets alarmed.

I tuned in (online) briefly to a radio station where I was once employed. An ad for a Mexican restaurant was played featuring a very white man doing a very bad and over the top Mexican accent. I wondered who approved it and if the Mexican restaurant was really Mexican owned, because no Mexican should've approved that ad. Cajun accents are imitated badly all over the country in ads, and even a giant and successful chain like Outback Steakhouse insists on having their jingle singers overemphasize the Australian accent as they sing, "Leyts gaueau dayown to thee Owutbayck Stayeakhowyse nowyu!" People don't really  have accents when they sing, unless they're really trying to, like when those chumps Green Day try to pretend they're British punkers.

So when Richards hired the actors to play the roles of the vagina puppets, did the Black woman read her lines and say, "Seriously? You're going with 'spend time on your hair'?" She should have. Did the Hispanic actor tell the copywriter, "I think this leopard thong line is a little stereotyped, don't you?" She should've at least protested the "ayi-ayi-ayi" opening. According the the Atlanta Post,

"The jive-talking black hand depicting an African-American vagina did not sit too well with the feminine products market. Nor did the saucy misrepresentation of a Latina vagina."

Now Richards has pulled the ads and is busy doing damage control, insisting that the ads were not racist. They'll be fired soon by Summer's Eve, I would bet.

Richards took half a step in the right direction by at least using authentic voices, if not authentic words. I'm not Black or Hispanic, so my opinion as to the racism of this campaign doesn't and shouldn't apply. As High Jive at MultiCultClassics has repeatedly said in one form or another,

"When will the culturally clueless of the ad world realize that no one can decide for others whether or not something is racist? To declare that something is not racist demonstrates arrogance of the highest order. In fact, it often makes the person declaring something is not racist actually look like a racist."

The problem, HighJive has always pointed out (as did Larry Woodward in a recent piece) is that minorities are woefully underrepresented in decision making roles in the advertising industry. That's true, but still, you've got to be one stupid White decision maker to have approved what Richards did for Summer's Eve.

The Content of His Character

Note: This post was prompted by an email forward from a guy I knew years ago who has just discovered the Internet and now blasts "hilarious" emails to everyone. It was another in a long series of emails that basically feature Obama as the fried chicken watermelon guy who's gonna rape your white women.


Happy Birthday to my Dad, pictured here in Vietnam in his way-too-cool shades, rifle across his lap and out the window of a Huey helicopter, as a brother fuels the chopper up. The two guys in that photo above are Americans.

I was raised on military installations, where your neighbors are whomever the government randomly decides, and your schoolmates are of every nationality this country has ever welcomed to its shores. The US military is a microcosm of that "great society" we strive to be, and my Dad taught me early that a man's worth is measured by the honor he brings to his job or how he acts when no one is watching, and little else. If a white, black, red, brown or yellow man can have a good attitude while shoveling shit, (or fueling a helicopter) then he's a guy worth knowing.

There's been a bunch of talk this election season about race, and I think a lot of it comes from people who've never lived among other races. You've got your white liberals from predominantly white areas who want to vote for Obama. But whites who live in mixed-race areas have countered, "That's because you don't know what it's like to live among blacks!" And there are the whites and blacks who will vote for Obama BECAUSE he's black.

For many blacks, voting for Obama is a matter of identity and pride. I understand that. Who wouldn't be proud of Obama's candidacy, given our history? But for many whites, voting for Obama becomes a matter of proving to themselves and their friends that they are open-minded and free-thinking. That's wrongheaded and ignorant. Your anti-racism actually becomes racism in a roundabout way. And among the white talking-head class, you may have noticed that blacks don't get credit for weighing the character of the candidates. It is assumed that they'd vote for Obama just as soon as they'd vote for Flavor Flav. It's assumed that blacks vote en masse, no matter what. (And we haven't even touched the Black-Brown or Yellow-Black animosities and voting patterns of America.)

I go back to what my Dad taught me. We should measure a man on how he approaches his shitty job. Does he have a good attitude while doing the lowliest of low-paying jobs, like community organizing? Or does he expect favor and special treatment because of who he is and where he comes from, like maybe the privileged son of an admiral who crashes planes on a regular basis?

I was one of a few whites who attended a mostly black church in the Midwest for about a year. I went to the pastor's house for Christmas dinner. From the pulpit the pastor invited all who didn't have a place to enjoy Christmas dinner to come to his house. As the only white guy at the pastor's family dinner, I was out of place. I was interrupting. Everyone accepted me and everyone was nice, but I was the sore thumb sticking out. I had forced myself into a situation that would've been much more comfortable without me there. My point is that we are naturally more comfortable among people who are like us, which is why we've had racial tension since the beginning of time. It's the way we're wired. It's natural. We gravitate toward people who look like us. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

But America is different. When they wrote, "All men are created equal," they pried open a giant can of worms we are still unprepared to deal with. We're getting better, but we still have our neighborhoods where it is better for us if we look like most of the people who live there. It will likely always be that way, but Americans are free to mingle, free to get to know each other, free to find out that what exists under the skin is the same in all peoples. We should take ourselves outside of our comfort zones as often as possible. We may retreat to our comfortable areas at day's end after working eight hours with people of all colors, but we are better people for those eight hours.

Until we force Americans of different races to live together, as the US military does, we must learn to understand each other while recognizing and celebrating our differences. You don't need to move to a white neighborhood in order to "understand" white people, but when you approach that white person at work as a person and not a white person, you're on your way. Measure him by how he approaches the shittiest of jobs. What's his character? What's his attitude? Can you see him as your friend? Can you see him not as white or black, but rather as dishonorable or honorable?

This election has been eye-opening in the way it has polarized America, and while I respect and encourage a healthy debate on the issues, I'm quite done with the dishonorable, racist bastards of my country who will veil their arguments against Obama in terms of communism, socialism and terrorism, (I'm talking to you, Irish, racist, dishonorable jackass Sean Hannity) but whose real and fundamental discomfort with the man is his color. You can disagree with his policies, you can disagree with his approach to governing, you can disagree with the people he has brushed shoulders with in the past, but as long as you forward emails that suggest Obama is some Watermelon-Eating, Tap-Dancing, Shoe-Shining Nigger Antichrist, well, it shows me you don't really understand America at all.

Jammakane Says "Psyche! I'll Debate Ya!"

Much has been written, spoken and shouted with insane partisan vitriol about the thinness of Obama's resume, and to reply with "He was a community organizer!" is a pretty weak retort. Obama's resume is extremely thin, but one thing Obama isn't is a knee-jerk, stunt-prone, crap-shootin' drama queen, like The War Hero Straight Talking Maverick Man of Action, John Sydney McCain III.

We've just been through eight years of a cock-sure bastard of a spoiled frat-boy President, and fully one half of this country is ready to replace him with another. Obama displays grace under pressure, whereas McCain acts on impulse, often looking petulant and borderline insane. Call it politics, but picking Sarah Palin showed a giant lapse in judgment, as did his recent "I've got to go to Washington and put my country first" bullshit ploy.

Turns out Ole Man will be at Ole Miss tonight for the big debate, now that he got his photo-op where he was pretending to be involved in the Wall Street bailout while pretending to suspend his campaign. I probably agree more with McCain on the issues than I do with Obama, but the man's severe lack of integrity, while loudly proclaiming what a man of integrity he is, makes me unable to take him seriously. With apologies to anyone who likes him, I think this guy is an absolute piece of shit, and I'm pretty sure I still have the right to think that in America.

I propose a new drinking game for tonight's debate:

• Every time McCain says "My friends," do a shot.
• Every time he says, "Here's some straight talk," do two shots.
• Every time he refers to Vietnam or brings up being a POW, do three shots.

You will be wasted in five minutes.

Speaking of Ole Miss, how do they get away, in this day and age, of calling their team "The Rebels"? That old Southern Pride dies hard. Not that I am in favor of revisionist history, but Rebels? Really? Why not the Slave Holders? Or Racists? How about Lynch Mob?

And lest anyone doubt that this election is tinged with overt racism, there is an underground element at work that will never in a million years consider voting for a black man. I received a mass email last night, forwarded who-knows-how-many times to countless individuals. The text of the email said, "This is tooooo funny!!!!!" Below that was a Photoshopped image of Obama shining Palin's shoes. The original photograph can be seen here, and the photographer from Australia is not amused.

15 Out of 15 Dairy Queen Customers are White

(And so is the lone guy working the store.) At least that was the case in 1960. On second thought, that might be Obama serving ice cream inside the DQ.

I'm sure many of you are familiar with Plan59, a great site of ancient advertising art. Laggard that I am, I only recently found it and spent too long perusing today when I was supposed to be crafting compelling copy. After viewing way too many images, I think I counted one person of color. He was a train porter serving Coca-Cola to a white family.

The site does remind you, however, that at one time (pre-Photoshop) being a "commercial artist" meant that you actually had to have some artistic skills.

He Was a Preacher Before Anything Else

You won't hear this message invoked today. We seem to want to remember only the nice things King said, while ignoring his warnings. If a national figure were to utter these sentiments today, he'd be labeled a crazy, evangelical Bible-thumper and cast aside as irrelevant. But rest assured, everyone will be honoring the memory of (Rev.) Dr. King today with lip service, conveniently forgetting some of the harder things he had to say.

Let the National Puking Begin

I may have to stop paying attention to this crap. I will lose my mind before we pick a new leader.

Advertising That Will Live in Infamy

It's perfectly appropriate to reflect on the trying times our nation has been through, but let's not forget what a bunch of xenophobic bastards we were - and have the capacity to be again. The first image is a "US Army official poster" according to the fine print at the bottom. The second is just the National Cash Register Company reminding citizens to keep on hating. And these are nothing compared to the ones that depict the Japanese as buck-toothed monkeys.

I left a crappy part-time radio job not long after 9/11. It was about two weeks after the tragedy and I was being asked to record :10 spots for sponsors who were buying pre-scripted inanities like "Jack's Pizza condemns terrorism and stands with the victims of 9/11 and their families."


Actual Conversation:
Me: Aren't we capitalizing on the tragedy?
Sales Manager: That's what the terrorists WANT you to think!

His Teeth are Whiter than White

Big Click Makum Picture Bigger

Ahhh, to be like the primitive savage. Naked, carefree - and with a pearly white smile.

Via