Live Blogging The Debate

9:01 Bob tries to tell them not to stick to talking points. Good luck with that, Schieffmaster.
9:02 What could McCain be writing already? Furious note-writing out of the gate. Major Botox treatment this week also.
9:03 Oh! Beat Obama to the Nancy Reagan "thoughts and prayers" thing.
9:06 Blah blah blah already. Did I just commit to live blogging?
9:06 Obama agrees with McCain. Take a shot.
9:07 McCain has the balls to look "that one" in the eye and then brings up the plumber dude, Joe, recent hero of the right. Addressing Joe now, McCain will give Joe the moon and put the Communists out to pasture - if you will help me now.
9:09 Obama not getting it done for the Joes of the world. Responding in wonk-speak.
9:11 Mac says "spread the wealth" five times. Class warfare. Poor Joe.
9:12 Mac has a boner for Joe the Plumber.
9:12 Obama stumbling. On the ropes. Not addressing "spread the wealth." Sounding like a rookie in an earlier debate with Hillary.
9:13 McCain sees an opening, pouncing. Kicking Obama's ass on the Joe issue. Says "spread the wealth" one more time. He knows the base.
9:16 Obama is like some Constitutional Law professor from Chicago. What? Oh.
9:17 Drill Baby Drill. Wind Tide Solar zzzzzzz
9:17 I think McCain drank three Red Bulls backstage. Looking for a fight. He knows how to do a lot of things. I think he's going to have a heart attack by night's end. Obama smirking at the Arizona senator.
9:19 Here comes the Sleepy Senator from Illinois. Ehhh - I - Uhh....uhhh - errrr. Get to the point!
9:20 History lesson from the Professor. Obama is off his game.
9:21 McCain unveils a canned joke. "I'm not President Bush. Should've run four years ago." Mild chuckling from partisan hacks in audience.
9:22 No matter how this ends, I make this safe prediction: 95% of Fox News viewers say McCain won.
9:23 McCain makes goofy Botox face at Obama slamming Fox News. Obama again lifting up His Holiness, Saint John of Arizona.
9:24 McCain brings up his scars. Take a shot.
9:25 Schieffer wants to hear the dirt behind the dirt, but McCain blames the Commie for not doing the Town Hall Let's Fly Together in a Plane thing. McCain bringing up the John Lewis condemnation. McCain is "hurt."
9:27 Obama smiling in that "fuck you, old man" way. Obama says, "If you can't stand the heat, quit throwing gasoline on the fire." Slams the Town Hall lie. Brings it back to the issue of the economy.
9:30 McCain watched football on Sunday. Saw his Cardinals hand it to the bastard Cowboys. Pissed off that there were so many Obama ads. Brings up his new Crush, Joe the Plumber again. Demands an apology for the John Lewis condemnation.
9:31 Obama takes McCain to the matt and tells him to suck it hard on the Lewis thing.
9:32 McCain breathing hard into the mic, trying to interrupt. Getting outwitted.
9:33 John getting his word in. Obama in the split screen practicing his "fuck you" glare. McCain brings up the "Sarah is a Cunt" t-shirts. Hey, John! It's what you called your wife! Where do you think they got the idea for the shirts?
9:35 Palling around with terrorists. Finally bringing up the ACORN talking point, McCain is hitting his stride.
9:36 "When I was eight years old" is Obama's standard defense. Here comes the Annenberg storyline. Watch, out Johnny! It's a trick. Obama takes out Ayers with a flip of his wrist. Now to ACORN. "Motor voter. DMV. Facts out. Associations." I'm getting tired of this shit.
9:39 McCain not letting go of Ayers and ACORN. Brings up his Hannity line, "Launched your campaign in his living room." He is bent on the Rove-Hannity line, now bringing it absurdly back to "helping you" as he wraps up his attack.
9:41 If Obama says that Biden rode the train home every day, finish the bottle. Energy indpendence? How did you get there from here?
9:42 McCain selling Palin. Arrg. He knows it's not his campaign anymore. It's hers. Calls her "A Bresh of Freath Air." She's his "partner." Careful, Johnny. Cindy is a wildcat. Oh crap. He did it. The "special needs" card is played! And Todd is a tough guy too. Dontcha know.
9:45 McCain says Biden has "cockimamey ideas." I don't know how to spell "cockimamey." If you use that word, you should find a synonym.
9:46 McCain getting exasperated with the Commie Moderator Schieffer. Cutting him off, breathing very heavily into his mic again. MSM plant!
9:48 Wind Tide Solar Natural Gas. McCain's got this talking point down cold.
9:48 Obama doing his Kennedy thing. "Ten Years" we can get off foreign oil. Do a shot if he brings up Kennedy and the Space Race.
9:49 Solar Wind BioDiesel. (That was Obama.)
9:50 Can I refill my wineglass? C'mon, Bob! Commercial break yet?
9:51 Oh! McCain says "Nice speech, slickboy, but we see through your hustle."
9:52 McCain is holding his own. Has likely pulled his poll-numbers up by 5 tonight. The race will go on.
9:53 As usual, Obama is measured, smart and informed, while McCain again breathes heavily into the mic. Sadly, this will register as a loss for Obama. He's not hotheaded. McCain is on fire in a desperate way, and that's what red-state America likes.
9:55 McCain just linked Obama to Chavez. This is red-meat mayhem.
9:57 Obama selling his health care plan. Gonna cut my premiums by $2500 a year, he says. If not, I get a Senate health care plan, like he and John enjoy.
9:58 Schieffer! I need a refill! Commercial?
9:59 McCain giving his health care plan. Kids are fat, gotta get fit. Oh, crap! Joe the Fucking Plumber again! Fox News struck gold with the Joe the Fucking Plumber. Joe should sue for misuse of his name and image.
10:00 Obama now addressing Joe the Plumber. This dude is the talk of the nation, sitting in his modest home in Ohio, wondering how the hell his life became a national issue. Calling his brother-in-law now, who knows a guy who represents some jugglers, models and commercial actors.
10:03 McCain just said "Hey, Joe!" This has become Joe's debate. I think I hear Obama laughing under his breath into his mic.
10:04 McCain tries again with the failed hair-plug joke from the last debate.
10:05 Joe the Plumber, you should be the President.
10:06 Split screen. It's obvious from this view. Obama kicks ass. Cool. McCain just a sad old asshole. But we don't vote on such superficial matters in this country. Back to the debate.
10:07 Supreme Court Nominees. McCain will find people who adhere to the Constitution when selecting judges. Won't overlook abortion lovers.
10:08 Obama will also consider abortion haters when looking for judges.
10:09 Obama taking it a step further, appealing now directly to his liberal base in secret intellectual code. Lost most of America on that one, including McCain, everyone regarding it as "silly egghead talk."
10:12 McCain is about to take it deep. Gonna call Obama a child killer.
10:13 Trying to nuance his way around his Illinois Senate vote regarding "life-saving treatment" for babies who survive abortion. It's such a long explanation, that right or wrong, it sounds wrong. McCain breathing hard again.
10:14 Obama says, "Sexuality is sacred." Points from the faithful. Muslims and Jews included.
10:15 McCain tires to repeat the lie that his illegitimate black child is actually adopted. JK! (HAHA! Funny Bush joke... Sorry.)
10:16 Schieffer! Need a wine refill!
10:17 "Army of New Teachers," says Obama. COMMIE! MARXIST!
10:19 Obama doing the Bill Cosby thing. "Turn off the TV, put away the video games. It's up to the parents."
10:20 McCain says, "We find bad teachers another line of work." Huh?
10:21 All in all, Schieffer kicking Ifill's and Broakaw's asses. For all of his softball wimpiness on Sunday mornings, he's pretty strong tonight. At least he's strong by his own soft standards.
10:22 Obama AGAIN agrees with McCain. Shot. But he does this as part of his "measured" thing. "I'm not a hothead. I'm cool." It costs him in the short run, like tomorrow's polls, but in the end, it sinks in with the voters. Obama will pay a price of 5 to 6 points by week's end, buoyed by pundits and spinners tonight and tomorrow.
10:24 Autism is now McCain's pet project, because he loves Sarah. And Sarah's boy. And Todd. First dude, doncha know.
10:26 Closing statements.
10:27 McCain: New Direction. Reform. He has a Record. Looking uncommonly "connected" with the camera. Digs on "trust." "A long line of McCains" almost sounds defeated. Sorry Dad. Sorry, Grandpa.
10:29 Obama: "Failed Failed Failed. McCain = Bush. Eight Years." Investing = Taxcuts? Dude, I'm no economist, but that makes no sense. Still stumbling in his closing remarks.
10:30 Verdict: McCain lives to fight another day.

Well Then. There You Go.

Thank you, Valley high school students, for your astute analysis. Thank you, Mercury News, for your intrepid reporting. Thank you, Google, for sifting through the vast sources of news to find me quality headlines.


The Right loves to scream about this stuff as if it’s evidence of some sort of “mainstream bias” where they have no say in the public sphere. That’s bullshit. I flipped around some AM stations this morning on the way in and it was all McCain all the time, with all the callers saying he won the thing hands down. (One interesting new spin tactic on the Right that I heard is to call Obama “That Guy” or “This Guy.”)

Everyone’s got their favorite echo chamber, and no one’s mind will be changed at this point. The true test will be when it’s over. Will the losing side have the grace to admit that the elected one is now the President of the entire country, even the disaffected and bitter half? I fear "respect for the office" will be severely diminished come January.

The Obligatory Debate Analysis

(I know I'm not the only one who remembers how to spell "analysis" because of its first four letters.)

Forget the spinners. They had their stories written before the debate was over. David Brooks this morning leads with, "There she was, resplendent in black," thereby cementing which of his readers will continue and which readers will promptly take his column out to the yard to pick up dog shit.

Michelle Malkin, who is nothing less than a modern-day Goebbels, is ridiculous in her praise, including the title the fan girl gives her piece, "Sarah Rocks!" (Exclamation Michelle's, not mine.)

In the end, if you loved her before, you love her even more now. If you didn't like her before, you're only sorry she didn't freak out and run offstage. If you were neutral and "undecided," you likely still are.

After the liars are done lying, the sober will see this for what it was: a wind-up doll reading notes that had little to do with the questions being asked. I suppose after a month of intense cramming and debate-prep, any one of us could've pulled it off. But in today's politics, that's a "victory." We're living in a Reality TV show.

You can like her spunk and her "charm" and her plucky go-get-'em-ness, but if you can see this person sitting in the White House making decisions that will affect you and me, you live in a different world than I do.

Jammakane Says "Psyche! I'll Debate Ya!"

Much has been written, spoken and shouted with insane partisan vitriol about the thinness of Obama's resume, and to reply with "He was a community organizer!" is a pretty weak retort. Obama's resume is extremely thin, but one thing Obama isn't is a knee-jerk, stunt-prone, crap-shootin' drama queen, like The War Hero Straight Talking Maverick Man of Action, John Sydney McCain III.

We've just been through eight years of a cock-sure bastard of a spoiled frat-boy President, and fully one half of this country is ready to replace him with another. Obama displays grace under pressure, whereas McCain acts on impulse, often looking petulant and borderline insane. Call it politics, but picking Sarah Palin showed a giant lapse in judgment, as did his recent "I've got to go to Washington and put my country first" bullshit ploy.

Turns out Ole Man will be at Ole Miss tonight for the big debate, now that he got his photo-op where he was pretending to be involved in the Wall Street bailout while pretending to suspend his campaign. I probably agree more with McCain on the issues than I do with Obama, but the man's severe lack of integrity, while loudly proclaiming what a man of integrity he is, makes me unable to take him seriously. With apologies to anyone who likes him, I think this guy is an absolute piece of shit, and I'm pretty sure I still have the right to think that in America.

I propose a new drinking game for tonight's debate:

• Every time McCain says "My friends," do a shot.
• Every time he says, "Here's some straight talk," do two shots.
• Every time he refers to Vietnam or brings up being a POW, do three shots.

You will be wasted in five minutes.

Speaking of Ole Miss, how do they get away, in this day and age, of calling their team "The Rebels"? That old Southern Pride dies hard. Not that I am in favor of revisionist history, but Rebels? Really? Why not the Slave Holders? Or Racists? How about Lynch Mob?

And lest anyone doubt that this election is tinged with overt racism, there is an underground element at work that will never in a million years consider voting for a black man. I received a mass email last night, forwarded who-knows-how-many times to countless individuals. The text of the email said, "This is tooooo funny!!!!!" Below that was a Photoshopped image of Obama shining Palin's shoes. The original photograph can be seen here, and the photographer from Australia is not amused.

My List of Talking Points is Better Than Yours

CNN will show another episode of Dancing With the Candidates tonight, where no questions will actually be answered and the regurgitation of talking points will be the norm. The judges will score the event on Best Zinger, Worst Stumble, Most Glaring Character Flaw Moment and Best Faked Sincerity.

They can both dance quite admirably. They spin, they twirl, they twist. At this point it’s pretty much down to talking points. We can recite the lines even if we've barely been paying attention. We’re all just waiting for someone to screw up in a big way and get voted off the show.

Click image to read captions, unless you have, like, really good eyes.

Diamonds or Pearls

Pardon the rant, but I'm getting fed up. I'm an undecided independent voter, and I resent the way that the media tries to sway my thinking. I expect that from the candidates, but not from what was once known as "the Fourth Estate."

It doesn't matter who he's interviewing, Leslie "Wolf" Blitzer always ends up a lapdog. He's been accused of being a Bush lackey, and now he's kissing Hillary's ass. He's much like Larry King. Whomever the polls say is hot, that's where his lips go. (Who names a lapdog "Wolf" anyway?)

It wouldn't be so bad if Leslie were not pretending to be a real journalist. He is, in reality, a talk show host with lots of giant TV monitors surrounding him. He calls this "The Situation Room."

When a debate is over, typically and predictably, all the candidate's spokeshacks and handlers crowd into a room and give one-sided interviews to the media. "Yes, I think Governor Richardson really came into his own tonight when he quoted John Lennon. People can sense in Governor Richardson a tough negotiator who isn't afraid to blah blah blah blah blah..." (Aside: Governor Richardson will be elected President when FEMA gets a call from Satan asking for assistance in dealing with the Blizzard of the Century that just hit Hell.)

But on CNN, they bring the Clinton spin doctors right into the studio with Grandstanderson Pooper and pretend as though they are "political analysts." James Carville gets to analyze a debate for the public when he is presently (he says he's not being paid) working for the Clinton campaign? Sitting with him is a former Clinton adviser, David Gergen. CNN, attempting to appease the right, throws in J.C. Watts, who is just thankful to still be considered relevant as he mumbles agreement with the other two.

I think I'm done with debate watching. At least on CNN. I think I'm done with the news altogether, because it's not the news. You can't tell entertainment from news, news from spin, spin from doctrine, gossip from fact, singers from anchormen, dancers from reporters. Is it any wonder so many people now get their news from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert? Hell, I think "South Park" tells it straighter and fairer than most of these networks anymore.