Rebel Without a Plan

When I first caught the headline that Harley-Davidson and its long-time agency Carmichael-Lynch had parted ways, I thought it was the typical case of the client firing the agency. Turns out it was the other way around. Ad people love that kind of story. Kicking a big, stubborn client to the curb is the dream of many. 

Everyone knows that Harley is fairly stuck in a groove (perhaps a rut) of selling its wares to people of a certain demographic: suburban, middle-aged, professional, white; people for whom the motorcycle is a mere hobby, albeit a somewhat serious hobby - and an expensive one. Living in a state that attracts motorcycle enthusiasts, and particularly Harley enthusiasts, year-round for gatherings, events and hanging out, I can tell you that the stereotype of Barbie and Ken Biker is an accurate one. It's almost to the point that Harley is the opposite of what it wants to be - what it used to be: cool. How cool is it to have the same bike as everyone else when everyone else is a grey-haired guy playing biker on the weekend?

They were on a wild ride for a long time. Big, loud, shiny and expensive, with an official accessories line that includes branded clothing for infants and HD-branded doo-rags for the dudes who don't know how to tie a real bandana into a doo-rag, but Harley has finally been slowed down by the economy. You can't sell a $15,000 toy to a guy who isn't sure he'll have a job next month, even if you do offer your own easy financing. I'm not saying Harley didn't do things right. They had perfect pitch for the high-rolling times they thrived in.

But now is a dangerous time to be Harley, and if they keep doing what they've always done they will only sink further. There are a few directions they can take this, and each will require bold thinking and a fair amount of risk. But since Harley prides itself on the rebel image, maybe they'd be willing to prove that image by actually being what they've only pretended to be for too long. Harley's CMO, Mark-Hans Richer said, "the company feels good about its creative direction." OK, Mark-Hans, you keep doing it your way and we'll keep seeing headlines like this.

I hear Wisconsin is beautiful this time of year. Send the corporate jet down to fly me up and I'll give you the pitch. I'll do it off-the cuff, Don Draper style. Should only take a couple of minutes. Afterward, I'd like to tour that $60 million museum if there's time. Then maybe we can catch a Packers game from your skybox at Lambeau.

Wing Away, Free as a Skylark, And as Gay

(Click to read the copy.) Seems there was a time (1931) when you could sell a man on the free-wheeling nature of motorcycle riding by appealing to his wish to imitate the skylarks, and join the good, gay fellows who spend their play hours on Harley-Davidsons.

Thanks to Jumpin' Jimbo Cox for the tip.

Northeastern Scum Bringing Wicked Ways to Florida

Bike Week, one of several motorcycle-themed events held in crime-ridden Daytona Beach throughout the year, attracts a large crowd of hard-drinking, fun-loving, tattooed-in-places-you-shouldn't-be ordinary Americans who just want to have a wild, week-long party that might involve a little innocent meth, some harmless prostitution and the occasional trafficking in sex slaves. But now some New Yorker has come down and spoiled the fun for everyone.

Story found here.

Sells Itself

There's something about this bike that makes me want to buy this bike.

And sometimes, even a logo in the lower right corner is too much.

Spec ad for Triumph.

Click for Bigness

Create an Ad for Something You Won't Buy

If I've got a feminine hygiene client, I'd rather turn the brief over to a female copywriter who understands the product and the audience better than I ever will.

Much of our lives in advertising are spent trying to sell stuff we don't really believe in, much less use. Often, that takes some necessary mind bending and moral adjusting. (I suppose some of us, like the Sham-Wow guy, have no problems selling what we know is a sham.) Other times, you can just put yourself in the shoes or the head of the would-be buyer. I am currently trying to do that with a healthcare client that caters to seniors. It's not a very fun head to get into; the sick, old head. I might be a senior copywriter, but this copy will come out much better if I could assign it to a senior.

As I postpone the task, I decided to exercise my mind and create this spec ad for Vespa. I would probably never buy a Vespa because somewhere along the line I bought into someone's suggestion that Vespas were for girls, gays, and Roman holidays. The imaginary brief for this imaginary ad would say, "We want to target those who are contemplating throwing in their lot with the Harley crowd." That would be a tough sell. Or maybe not.

Full size

And The Girls Will Want to Fondle it, Too

This copy kills me as it speaks to your dad, taunting him to be a man, grow a set and buy a Honda. Ride this onto campus and you've got a guaranteed orgy with random women coming your way in very short order.

Not unlike the power of Axe Body Spray, come to think of it.

Click for bigness

Can't Decide Between a Hummer or One of These

This little thing caught my eye last week in Miami. A dealer had the specs in giant letters on the side: "42 MPG, 70 MPH." Adding to the double-take factor was the price: $9,995.

It's nothing more than a motorcycle with a cab and a bed, but it seems to make sense as everyone frets over gas prices and affordability. I could see a fleet of these delivering pizza.

Mexican, South American and Asian city streets have been filled with three-wheeled vehicles for years. Nothing like a little recession to get us thinking smart.

The manufacturer's website.
An owner's website.

Spec Ad for Trade

It gets kinda big if you click it

Dear Triumph Motorcycles,

I have toyed with the idea of owning a motorcycle for some time. Now that gas prices are ridiculous and my daily 50-mile round-trip commute is eating into my wallet at a rate I do not want to sustain for much longer, I am more than toying with the idea.

I live in Florida, where easily 4 out of 5 bikes on the road are Harleys. I find that the Harley subculture has turned into a real culture, far from "sub," far from individual and miles from the roots of HD as a rebel brand. Beyond that, I find the price-tags of Harleys to be prohibitive.

I have thought about Indian motorcycles, "America's First Motorcycle," as a viable alternative, but their slow efforts at rebuilding and their near duplication of the Harley look (and price) prevented me from thinking too deeply.

Then I saw the Bonneville Black. I am in love with a motorcycle. There is nothing not to like about this bike. Just sitting there, it conveys everything that a motorcycle should be. It is not showy. It is not excessive. It is, in a word as timeless as the Bonneville itself: cool. And the price is the final deal closer. I want one. Now.

So, in addition to the ad at top, I'll also be a fairly loyal brand advocate here on this blog based on my experiences with the bike you will provide me for free upon reading this letter. (You will be allowed two rounds of edits on the ad.) A dealer up in Daytona has one in stock. Please let them know to have my new ride prepped and ready to roll by next Friday.

Thank you in advance for your kind cooperation.

Sincerely,

Jetpacks

Quit Your Job and Buy a Harley

I think it's odd how the motorcycle manufacturer that now has gift shops in airports, its own line of designer beef jerky, huge movie endorsements, expensive clothing and "collectibles" all over its website, can still pretend to be the icon of rebellion.

"The man" didn't need quotation marks. And I'm not even sure what you want me to do here. If I don't have to spend a lifetime working for the man, then I guess you're appealing to my sense of entrepreneurship? Help me out here, Harley. Before I tell "the man" to "take this job and shove it" and ride off on a midlife crisis adventure with John Travolta and Martin Lawrence, do I sign up for the easy extended payment plan through Harley Davidson Financial Services?

You have become the man, HD. And your old brand position is no longer valid.

Previously in I hate Harleys.
Previously in Harleys Suck