Spec Ad for Trade

It gets kinda big if you click it

Dear Triumph Motorcycles,

I have toyed with the idea of owning a motorcycle for some time. Now that gas prices are ridiculous and my daily 50-mile round-trip commute is eating into my wallet at a rate I do not want to sustain for much longer, I am more than toying with the idea.

I live in Florida, where easily 4 out of 5 bikes on the road are Harleys. I find that the Harley subculture has turned into a real culture, far from "sub," far from individual and miles from the roots of HD as a rebel brand. Beyond that, I find the price-tags of Harleys to be prohibitive.

I have thought about Indian motorcycles, "America's First Motorcycle," as a viable alternative, but their slow efforts at rebuilding and their near duplication of the Harley look (and price) prevented me from thinking too deeply.

Then I saw the Bonneville Black. I am in love with a motorcycle. There is nothing not to like about this bike. Just sitting there, it conveys everything that a motorcycle should be. It is not showy. It is not excessive. It is, in a word as timeless as the Bonneville itself: cool. And the price is the final deal closer. I want one. Now.

So, in addition to the ad at top, I'll also be a fairly loyal brand advocate here on this blog based on my experiences with the bike you will provide me for free upon reading this letter. (You will be allowed two rounds of edits on the ad.) A dealer up in Daytona has one in stock. Please let them know to have my new ride prepped and ready to roll by next Friday.

Thank you in advance for your kind cooperation.

Sincerely,

Jetpacks

I Take it Back - A Little

I guess I've been a little bit mean to Harley Davidson on this blog in the past (hoping in vain that Indian Motorcycles would get their act together up in North Carolina) but this new cycle from HD turned my head.

Susan Carpenter, writing in the LA Times, says it very well: "...the 2008 Softail Cross Bones, a bike that spins back the hands of time to an era when Harleys weren't ridden by dentists."

But if I ever buy one (unlikely), I'll make sure the dealership paints it flat black, with no Harley logo.

A Random Sampling of Random Visitors

Here's a snapshot of yesterday's drop-ins at Where's My Jetpack?

Average visitor is likely a male, in need of transportation, be it a jetpack or a motorcycle (not a Harley). He is also in the market for porn of the Indian or Xena variety. And he could use a burrito.









I'm sure all of these searchers were quite disappointed in my offerings. Search is not an exact science. It's obviously very much a hit and miss exercise in many cases, even when you've got giants like Google and Technorati working for you.

Let The Biker Wars Begin

As I suspected, the upcoming Touchstone Pictures release Wild Hogs, will be a giant product placement vehicle for Harley Davidson. (vehicle...heh.)
















Beware, Harley: Market backlash will soon be upon you.

Hey, Indian, this could work in your favor. Granted, you have a long way to go to catch the big HD, but you can't buy this sort of negative press for your competitors.

Indian is gearing up. Today they launched their new website.

The Anthony Hopkins film, "World's Fastest Indian," was premature, released before Indian could start cycle production. It did poorly at the box office, too.

Need a New Rebel Brand

Down here in Florida, where it's pretty much motorcycle riding weather year round, we see an overabundance of a certain breed of enthusiast out on the weekend, riding very nice and expensive bikes and decked from head to toe in shiny matching leather outfits. The bikes are pristine and well-cared for and the riders are very carefully groomed as they try to affect the dangerous mystique that riders of their particular brand of bike had in the glory days of Outlaw Bikers.

But you can see behind the fake grimaces the perfect teeth of the well-paid upper middle class. When they park their bikes, they get out little cloths and wipe them down. "Oops. Water spot on my tailpipe." The cloths are emblazoned with the logo of their bike manufacturer.

Nearly 5 to 1*, these weekend pretenders prefer a particular brand of motorcyle. They wear boots from the same maker, as well as jackets, chaps, headscarves, t-shirts, gloves and I'm sure, underwear and socks.

I don't ride a bike yet. But when my time for mid-life crisis comes and I'm feeling the need to make loud noises on the highway with the wind in my hair, there is no way in hell I will ride one of those bikes. The original rebel has turned rebellion into a style all its own - and it's lost all its edge.

Which is why I am watching with interest the resurrection of Indian Motorcyles. They've got a perfect built-in brand builder: America's First Motorcycle. The logo is nice too. They recently bought a plant in North Carolina and hope to be manufacturing bikes mid-year. I will want one. And I want to work on this account. To make a dent in a market completely dominated by a certain Milwaukee bike maker would be fun. And I would pitch the rebel angle.

Suburban street. Clean-shaven dentist sits idling at a red light on his sparkly ego-booster, checking his teeth in the mirror, fixing his hair, pulling out a grey one. Up comes a couple on an Indian, male and female, (try to get Sam Elliot and Andie MacDowell) who idle alongside. Their bike is not clean, neither are they. Glances exchanged, slight smirk crosses Sam's face. Tight shot on gas tank logo. Roar off. Logo and tag: America's First Motorcycle.

You're only selling a mystique, and the mystique of the competition has vanished in market overload. You're selling rebellion, and an army of matching suburbanites riding the same bike doesn't speak of dissent.

I see HD riders trading their bikes in for Indians real soon.

*Ratio is completely made-up and reflects the author's disdain for the overhyped bikes of Milwaukee.


UPDATE: No sooner do I post this and Touchstone Pictures announces the soon coming "Wild Hogs." From the studio: A mis-matched group of bored suburbanites longing to escape the stress of their daily lives and embrace the freedom of the open road finds that it takes more than polished chrome and leather jackets to truly experience the biker lifestyle in this revved-up road comedy starring John Travolta, Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence, and William H. Macy. Upon trading the comfort of the couches for the thunderous rumble of their two-wheeled street machines, these four adventurous riders cross paths with the notorious Del Fuegos - an authentic biker gang that doesn't take kindly to the weekend warrior type.

Well, good. I hope Travolta and company all get their asses kicked. But my guess is there will be a bunch of HD product placements in this movie.