GM, Goodby Pulling Stupid Stunt

In today's New York Times, an internal Chevrolet memo is reported on, and I'm calling "Bullshit." According to two idiots in GM's upper management,

"We’d ask that whether you’re talking to a dealer, reviewing dealer advertising or speaking with friends and family, that you communicate our brand as Chevrolet moving forward."

They also say,

"When you look at the most recognized brands throughout the world, such as Coke or Apple for instance, one of the things they all focus on is the consistency of their branding. Why is this consistency so important? The more consistent a brand becomes, the more prominent and recognizable it is with the consumer. This is a big opportunity for us moving forward."

As if Coke isn't also called Coca-Cola. And yes, they said, "Moving forward" twice. The article then quotes one Klaus-Peter Martin, a GM spokesman, who confirmed the memo, saying, "We’re going to use Chevrolet instead of Chevy going forward in our communications." Martin said the move is linked to Chevy's switch to new agency Goodby, Silverstein & Partners.

Going forward. Moving forward. Branding. Consistency in branding. Bullshit. As if Chevy isn't just as well known a name (if not more so) as Chevrolet. If this is Goodby's doing, I'm disappointed. An agency known for good work shouldn't pull stupid stunts like this. This has the stench of set-up. I suspect a turnaround in a few months. A calculated and transparent "change of heart" where the big wigs at Chevy will announce something to the effect of,

"The American people have spoken. They love the nickname "Chevy." We miscalculated in our efforts to be consistent in our branding. We can no more change America's mind about America's favorite car than we could ask them not to salute the flag, eat apple pie and play baseball. Going forward, you can call Chevrolet "Chevy" all you want, and you can keep calling it America's favorite car."

If I'm wrong and this isn't just a stupid stunt, then it's just plain stupid. A brand should be lucky to have an affectionate nickname. McDonald's embraces "Mickey D's" and up until now, Chevrolet has always embraced "Chevy."

And not surprisingly, a few pages after the article is a full-page ad from Chevy announcing that its Equinox model has won some award from Consumer's Digest. And where do they tell us we can go to learn more? Chevy.com.

(Go on. Click it. I worked hard mutilating this old Chevy ad)

I am Wolf-Boy, Hear me Howl

Retro ad time.

The old "Dude, be a man!" angle applied to the car that has always attracted men with insecurities. This one attempts to mock the dolts who drive sedans, station wagons and economy cars. Original copy, mostly. I've edited the third column.

Enhance the length and girth of this image

Previously in "I'm not a Corvette fan":

The Artificial Male Enhancer since 1953.

And Before You Know It, It's Lunch Time

Damn this Internet! A random thought pops in your head like, "car ad" and you do a fast image search and very quickly you're lost on some faraway site. This one is for Puget Sound's Corvair lovers, the car that gave Ralph Nader his start as a consumer advocate and all around pain in the ass. And you're quickly lost in another time.

From the old days, when graphic artists were actually artists, and a car brochure was something to see, hold and drool over. Look at that interior rendering. No seat belts! Read that copy. "Frisky". (That is one dumb word to describe a car.) And look at this image. Taken from a photograph? I don't know, but it almost looks like the watercolor filter from Photoshop. Some hilly city in Europe during springtime, a pretty brunette contrasting with the old tourists around her as she gets out of Chevy's new car. Barefoot! Nicely done.

Large

I wonder what it was like to work in the place that designed that brochure. I'll bet it smelled of cigarette smoke and bourbon, toxic markers and hair gel. And though they were years away from being online, I'll bet they still found ways to procrastinate a dreaded job.

You Can't Blame the Economy for This One

Bill Heard Chevrolet, the country's largest Chevy dealer, is done. The dealership issued the following statement as the reasons behind their demise: "...rising fuel prices, a product portfolio of mostly heavy trucks and sport utility vehicles, economic recession, unfavorable local market conditions for vehicle sales, the crisis in the banking and financing sectors."

Bullshit.

Before you read into this, "Oh, no! We're heading for a depression!" consider these facts, from The Orlando Sentinel's Steven Cole Smith.

• Bill Heard was the subject of 72 consumer complaints in the past 36 months, including 28 in the past year, according to records of the Better Business Bureau of Central Florida.
• A staff member at the Nashville, Tenn., Better Business Bureau was assigned full time to handle complaints against the local Heard dealership.
• GMAC Financial Services, General Motors' financial arm, refused to continue financing the inventory for some of Heard's stores.
• Heard has paid more than $280,000 in penalties and expenses in Georgia related to its trade practices and $183,000 in Tennessee.
• Florida regulators last year slapped a $400,000 fine on the Heard dealership in Sanford, and another in Plant City, for deceptive trade practices.

Said Automotive News Executive Editor Edward Lapham, "Heard has been a burr under GM's saddle for a long time."

Customer Service. It's so simple.

Here's the principle, sometimes referred to as the Golden Rule: "Treat others the way you want to be treated."

One less shady car dealer in this country won't be missed. What I will miss is one of Bill Heard's sales tools, a ridiculously enormous American flag flying along Interstate 4, seen here on Google's Street View and MSN's Bird's Eye View. This flag was so big it waved in slow motion.


And why is the Google Street View guy wearing a party hat and carrying balloons?

We Concepted for Weeks on This

The copywriters working on Chevy's print ads have been phoning it in lately, relying on lyrics from rock music to do the talking for their cars. This one features a line from a Motley Crue song. Another ad sports some throwaway line from AC/DC.














I thought I'd help them out and create their next ad for them.

The Artificial Male Enhancer - Since 1953

For all the hate that the Hummer gets, I don't think nearly enough vitriol has been directed at this target, just as deserving, just as expensive and just as much a gas hog.