GM, Goodby Pulling Stupid Stunt

In today's New York Times, an internal Chevrolet memo is reported on, and I'm calling "Bullshit." According to two idiots in GM's upper management,

"We’d ask that whether you’re talking to a dealer, reviewing dealer advertising or speaking with friends and family, that you communicate our brand as Chevrolet moving forward."

They also say,

"When you look at the most recognized brands throughout the world, such as Coke or Apple for instance, one of the things they all focus on is the consistency of their branding. Why is this consistency so important? The more consistent a brand becomes, the more prominent and recognizable it is with the consumer. This is a big opportunity for us moving forward."

As if Coke isn't also called Coca-Cola. And yes, they said, "Moving forward" twice. The article then quotes one Klaus-Peter Martin, a GM spokesman, who confirmed the memo, saying, "We’re going to use Chevrolet instead of Chevy going forward in our communications." Martin said the move is linked to Chevy's switch to new agency Goodby, Silverstein & Partners.

Going forward. Moving forward. Branding. Consistency in branding. Bullshit. As if Chevy isn't just as well known a name (if not more so) as Chevrolet. If this is Goodby's doing, I'm disappointed. An agency known for good work shouldn't pull stupid stunts like this. This has the stench of set-up. I suspect a turnaround in a few months. A calculated and transparent "change of heart" where the big wigs at Chevy will announce something to the effect of,

"The American people have spoken. They love the nickname "Chevy." We miscalculated in our efforts to be consistent in our branding. We can no more change America's mind about America's favorite car than we could ask them not to salute the flag, eat apple pie and play baseball. Going forward, you can call Chevrolet "Chevy" all you want, and you can keep calling it America's favorite car."

If I'm wrong and this isn't just a stupid stunt, then it's just plain stupid. A brand should be lucky to have an affectionate nickname. McDonald's embraces "Mickey D's" and up until now, Chevrolet has always embraced "Chevy."

And not surprisingly, a few pages after the article is a full-page ad from Chevy announcing that its Equinox model has won some award from Consumer's Digest. And where do they tell us we can go to learn more? Chevy.com.

(Go on. Click it. I worked hard mutilating this old Chevy ad)

Detroit: You're Doomed

mas grande

Tesla Motors of California apparently got the message that not too many people could handle the $100K+ sticker on their sporty little electric car and are now taking orders for a newer version, the Model S, only half as pricey as the original Roadster. Looks like a promising vehicle, but that's still a big chunk of change to most of us.

I'm seeing beautifully produced TV ads these days for GM and Chrysler, ads that were paid for, I'm sure, with the money those companies got to rescue them. But as I'm looking at their offerings, I'm thinking to myself, "I don't want a computerized car that shows me maps and plays my iPod while warming my ass and sweetly talking to me." I don't care how many configurations the seats fold into. I want to get from Point A to Point B in relative comfort, with a minimal amount of expense in terms of price, maintenance and gas usage. And if it had some sense of style—wow—I'd be impressed. But Detroit can't seem to understand this.

So, go Tesla. After you've made a ton of money selling electric cars to rich people, maybe you can bring out a third model that the common Joe and Jane can afford. And please don't make it look like shit just because it's cheaper. Take a cue from the Target/Michael Graves teaming. Style doesn't have to be expensive.

You Can't Blame the Economy for This One

Bill Heard Chevrolet, the country's largest Chevy dealer, is done. The dealership issued the following statement as the reasons behind their demise: "...rising fuel prices, a product portfolio of mostly heavy trucks and sport utility vehicles, economic recession, unfavorable local market conditions for vehicle sales, the crisis in the banking and financing sectors."

Bullshit.

Before you read into this, "Oh, no! We're heading for a depression!" consider these facts, from The Orlando Sentinel's Steven Cole Smith.

• Bill Heard was the subject of 72 consumer complaints in the past 36 months, including 28 in the past year, according to records of the Better Business Bureau of Central Florida.
• A staff member at the Nashville, Tenn., Better Business Bureau was assigned full time to handle complaints against the local Heard dealership.
• GMAC Financial Services, General Motors' financial arm, refused to continue financing the inventory for some of Heard's stores.
• Heard has paid more than $280,000 in penalties and expenses in Georgia related to its trade practices and $183,000 in Tennessee.
• Florida regulators last year slapped a $400,000 fine on the Heard dealership in Sanford, and another in Plant City, for deceptive trade practices.

Said Automotive News Executive Editor Edward Lapham, "Heard has been a burr under GM's saddle for a long time."

Customer Service. It's so simple.

Here's the principle, sometimes referred to as the Golden Rule: "Treat others the way you want to be treated."

One less shady car dealer in this country won't be missed. What I will miss is one of Bill Heard's sales tools, a ridiculously enormous American flag flying along Interstate 4, seen here on Google's Street View and MSN's Bird's Eye View. This flag was so big it waved in slow motion.


And why is the Google Street View guy wearing a party hat and carrying balloons?