Supersaturated Street Views - Music Video Edition

If you search Google Street Views on this blog you'll see how long I've been fascinated (obsessed) with this aspect of Google's Total Domination of the Earth. They own my email, this blog, YouTube and the street I live on.

This video combines my one-guitar, one-voice rendition of the very dark American Blues classic "Dock of the Bay" with images of the San Francisco area as seen on Google Street Views, with the saturation pumped up a bunch to give it a dreamy quality. (Assuming you dream in color.) I found the mundane, the sublime, the silly and the sad just by dropping that little yellow man onto the map and moving him up and down the streets of this great American city, trying to frame each scene just so. I've only been to SF a few times, but I was captivated, just like most people who visit that very unique Golden State town. Now I feel like I've been there again.

If I get 1 million views of this video, I might just ride my bike from Orlando to San Francisco in support of some worthy cause, perhaps homeless veterans. I figure it'll take a little over a month. ('Course I'm gonna need a few sponsors, like a motel chain and a restaurant chain, probably a bike shop as well.) If not, I might attempt to sell this song or video on iTunes and try to get enough money to fix the roof, because it's leaking. If the estate of Otis Redding or the monolithic monster Google come after me, I'll jump from that bridge when I come to it. Short of that, just enjoy. And for best results, please crank it up.

Can Your Yahoo! Do That?

When I used to visit my grandfather when I was a kid, I'd usually make my way to what we called "the way, way back yard" where he had a couple of sheds. One housed his model trains, the other his tools and projects. In the latter were also old boxes of magazines, mostly LIFE magazine, and I could sit in the musty heat for hours and skim through them, reading articles and looking at pictures. It was fun to find out what a reviewer thought of an old movie when it was new, or how some old music I currently liked was being discussed as some sort of cultural sea-change upon its release twenty years earlier. Wars long over were being reported on in the now, and it was like time travel for me. Advertisements were great fun to look at as well, the styles, designs and fashions once cutting edge now laughable, viewed from the future.

Grandpa died and I was always sorry I didn't make it out to California for the funeral. I would've liked to have visited the old house on Del Mar Avenue one more time, with its brick driveway and deep lot, the odd yet pleasant smell when you walked in the front door, the furniture, like those magazine ads, passed by time and now somehow retro-chic. And I probably would've requested of my aunt, who was managing his affairs after he passed, that I be able to lug those boxes of LIFE magazines back home, to sit in my garage or attic, waiting to be pored over again from time to time, an archeological treasure for an amateur historian.

I haven't been back to Chula Vista in years, but I've seen Grandpa's old house on Google Street Views. The brick driveway has been replaced by concrete, the ivy that made up his front yard replaced by grass. The big swinging gate he made at the end of the driveway, leading to the first part of his three-sectioned back yard, is gone. Someone replaced the louvre windows in the front of the house. The roof, once peppered with white rocks in some 1960s architect's idea of stylish cool, is now just a regular roof. From the aerial view, it's obvious that someone didn't like the idea of three small back yards divided by banana trees and lattice work, and has turned it into a deep lot of grass. I think they even cut down the weeping willow that stood near the two sheds in the way, way back.

But the LIFE magazines are now in my hands again, thanks to Google. The only thing missing is the musty smell of California dirt and dust in the late afternoon of a dimly lit shed. And the sound of Grandpa yelling my name from the first or second back yard to come wash up for dinner.

Detroit: You're Doomed

mas grande

Tesla Motors of California apparently got the message that not too many people could handle the $100K+ sticker on their sporty little electric car and are now taking orders for a newer version, the Model S, only half as pricey as the original Roadster. Looks like a promising vehicle, but that's still a big chunk of change to most of us.

I'm seeing beautifully produced TV ads these days for GM and Chrysler, ads that were paid for, I'm sure, with the money those companies got to rescue them. But as I'm looking at their offerings, I'm thinking to myself, "I don't want a computerized car that shows me maps and plays my iPod while warming my ass and sweetly talking to me." I don't care how many configurations the seats fold into. I want to get from Point A to Point B in relative comfort, with a minimal amount of expense in terms of price, maintenance and gas usage. And if it had some sense of style—wow—I'd be impressed. But Detroit can't seem to understand this.

So, go Tesla. After you've made a ton of money selling electric cars to rich people, maybe you can bring out a third model that the common Joe and Jane can afford. And please don't make it look like shit just because it's cheaper. Take a cue from the Target/Michael Graves teaming. Style doesn't have to be expensive.

Grow Your California Bigger! Longer!

This map shows the proposed "new look" of North America.

(WASHINGTON) California is at maximum capacity. Mexico is breaking down the door to get in, illegally and otherwise. Some government officials from the two nations have a plan to end both of these problems: throw open the door that blocks expansion for one and opportunity for the other.

A senior State Department official, speaking on condition of anonymity, has confirmed that the United States has been in secret negotiations with officials of the Mexican government with regard to the possible purchase of Baja, California.

“It makes perfect sense on all sides. This is not just a win-win situation. This is a win-win-win-win-win situation. We haven’t come to terms yet on an actual purchase price, but both sides are very encouraged by early talks,” said the official.

Under the proposed agreement, the United States would acquire all of the peninsula of Baja, plus one half of the water rights to the Gulf of California, or Sea of Cortez, after both governments and the peoples of Mexico and California have approved the contract.

“We’re a little sensitive about being seen as some ‘hostile imperialistic invading force,’ as we’ve been characterized by other countries in recent skirmishes,” our source says, “so we need to be careful how this is presented. We’re pretty sure that with the right marketing, the right spin, with all the benefits for both sides clearly outlined to the people, we can sell this thing. We bought half of the continent from France with the Louisiana Purchase. This is the old-fashioned way to acquire territory.”

“This is a business deal, and it’s a great one. Everyone wins,” said the official.

The plan's “selling points” were described in a one-page fact sheet that carried neither government’s official endorsement.

• Elimination of California’s southern border will reduce crime, illegal alien activity, and drug traffic. With California effectively removed from the problem of illegal immigration, those INS resources can be redirected to Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas.
• The addition of Baja to California will mean a larger labor pool, more tourism dollars, economic, industrial and real estate development, as well as taxes for the state’s struggling economy, currently running on a $35 billion deficit.
• From a design point of view, it makes sense to balance the peninsular state of Florida on the East end with a similar one in the West. (91% of designers polled agree. “Better flow and image distribution,” say industry veterans, “We can work with these boundaries much better.”) Additionally, designers point out that Mexico’s Baja peninsula “always looked out of place, like it didn’t even belong to Mexico. Their image on the globe will now appear cohesive and complete.”
• Mexico will earn a substantial amount from the initial sale of the property and will also receive an annual percentage of California’s GDP for 25 years. Baja will benefit from better roads, schools, and utilities.
• Mexicans living in the region gain instant US citizenship.
• No need to change US flags to 51 stars, as Baja will be part of California.
• Baja is already supported almost entirely by US tourism.
• A key ally, Mexico will now enjoy a “wall of protection.” US naval bases that would be placed in the region will provide a natural “first defense” against possible invasions from the Pacific.
• It’s already called Baja, California, and adjustment by natives to their new national identity will be easy.
• The “Twin Cities” of San Diego and Tijuana will create a thriving new Central California.

The State Department is expecting opposition to the proposal from both sides.

“Mainly, your southern Californians, San Diegans in particular, are going to be upset that their city is now in Central California. Central California has always been in their minds the epitome of uncool. We’re working with a PR firm on that issue. The whole ‘SoCal’ surf scene will be switching to Cabo San Lucas, and therefore greater LA and San Diego/Tijuana will need to remake their images. We may see a massive flight of surfers and others to the tip of Baja,” said the State Department official, “Also, under this proposal, the state is now twice as long. This will require big adjustments for any team, business, or other concern that uses the state outline in their logo, like the Golden State Warriors for example.”

As for Mexican opposition, the official expects it to be of the usual “imperialistic” name-calling variety. “But money talks. When Mexico is sharing in California’s wealth and people are better off for it, we’ll see acceptance of this idea.”

Continued the official, “We need to be careful. This is not a takeover. It’s a purchase. And it’s subject to approval by the governments and their peoples. We’re really just floating a balloon right now. Expect the official line to be total denial of any knowledge until we’ve finished the details and developed the target-specific marketing campaigns with the ad guys.”

Do you suppose, in the interest of diffusing possible alarm, that we include here a disclaimer that talks about parody and satire? Naw. If you're gullible enough to believe this, you should keep on believing it. Hell, you should even write your elected representative and express your opposition or support of the idea.

Statements on States

The banner at top, featuring the late MAJ Mike Adams, American hero and NASA test pilot, is a fun game for me. This week, Mike is outside Sperryville, VA, a tranquil little hamlet just far enough from Washington to feel like the country, but still northern enough to probably be considered NoVa by the rest of Virginia. (Thanks, Rick D.) Sperryville is also the home of Oasis CD, the independent artist's best friend. (That off the cuff mention means giant discounts for me, right Oasis?)

Anyway, blog traffic from the Commonwealth has been up these days and that got me to wondering if Virginia still uses the old "Virginia is for Lovers" tourism slogan. So I checked out their website and sure enough, that old slogan is still around, and it still works. Simple, mysterious, playful. They haven't changed the heart or the font in years.



And so, being the student and unqualified critic of advertising that I am, I trolled some other state tourism sites to see what other parts of the country are doing.

Ohio: So Much to Discover. OK. If you say so, but it sounds like the last ditch effort that wasn't going to offend anyone. Generic and boring. Could apply to any state. Why not, "Ohio: Not As Bad as You Thought." And what's with the star dotting the "i"? I liked Ohio the few times I've driven through it, especially that valley around Wheeling on the Ohio river.


Texas: It's Like a Whole Other Country. Cute. Reminds me of the joke, "If I owned Texas and Hell, I'd rent Texas and live in Hell." But seriously, this one isn't bad and the leather jeans tag is a nice touch. (Texans are fiercely proud of their state and they will kill you if you don't like it.)

Wyoming: Forever West. If I'm not mistaken, that's the same cowboy imagery from the Wyoming license plate. Nice branding. And the committee gave this direction to the slogan writers: Find a nice way to say "empty, wide open and populated by scary loners."


I Love NY. More a local boast than a tourism call, New York knows it is a destination. The tourism board's challenge is to get people into the rest of the state, not just the city. Never liked this one, but at this point it's a fixture.

California: Find Yourself Here. This one works OK. Simple design, double-meaning slogan. Still, I'd have gone with, "LA is a Hell Hole. See the rest of the State."