I Can't Believe This Guy Is Beating Me by 59 Thousand

And with your help, he won't be much longer.

Tim Wilson. Never heard of him, but he's one of those country singers who throws in the F-word on his song and it's a success. "Ha-ha! He said, 'Where the Fuck is My Jetpack?'" and his song has over sixty-thousand views on YouTube.



By contrast, here is what I find to be a far superior song, and instead of just a picture of the smiling singer/songwriter you get an actual video, and this video is only sitting at about 1,200 views. (And between you and me, these lyrics are way better.)



Now granted, Mr. Wilson has a major label behind him and he tours regularly, whereas I write a small blog with a low readership and dabble in music from a computer in my bedroom, so I suppose it's only natural that the number of views for his song should surpass mine. Nevermind that he probably stole the line from me.

I would like to someday beat Tim Wilson on YouTube. Another person I'd like to beat is this dude, whose Kraftwerk/Devo/Cars sounding Jetpack video is just...well, you decide. He's got nearly 7K views.



What makes a successful video? I like to think it's content, creativity, a small push from a few people and maybe a bit of luck. With any luck and a small push from a few of you, I will beat Tim Wilson and Devo Dude in no time.

Then the world will buy the song and Tim's Nashville corporate lawyers will come calling, seeking copyright infringement money, to which I will reply, "Bite me. Owned the domain since 2003. Blogging under the name since 2006. Whereas your song was published in 2009. Who is infringing upon whom?" Or, "Upon whom is infringement being perpetrated?" Or, "This infringement you speak of, dear sirs, is wholly mine to claim! DON'T TREAD ON ME!" And then I will wave my snake-flag and call some local TV stations. Tell me, lawyers, do I have a case?

But it's not like the phrase is unique anymore anyway. Author and Roboticist Daniel Wilson (Another Wilson?) came to me years ago hoping to buy the domain for his book, which has the same title as this blog. I told him, "No. Why don't you register 'Where IS My Jetpack' instead?" Which he promptly did.

After the lawyers go away in sheepish defeat, (compensating me out-of-court for the pain, suffering and loss of potential wages) I will then maybe let Tim open for me at a show or two, provided he doesn't sing his Jetpack song.

"Encore Performance" is TV-Speak for "Filler"

The onset of Autumn used to mean the start of the new TV season. That slight shift in the wind and the temperature went hand in hand with back to school shopping, a new season of football, new shows on TV and the end of the reruns. But now, it's all up in the air and all over the map. Mad Men started airing its new season in late July. The new season of True Blood is almost over. Those of us eagerly waiting for a new season of Eastbound and Down have been waiting for more than a year. I think SNL and House might be on the old time schedule, but I don't know anymore. I guess that's why we have DVRs now.

That was all just an excuse to show you a rerun of a video I made a few months ago. Jason Fox, an excellent copywriter from Dallas, sent me a DM on Twitter yesterday. We had an exchange that went something like this: Actually, it went exactly like this:

So that made me think, "Damn, maybe that video and song only has 681 views because it just got lost in the shuffle - not because it sucks balls and people were afraid to tell me so. Maybe what it needs is an 'encore performance' here on the blog to kick-start it to life and get it out there a little better."

So without further delay, an encore performance of "Where's My Jetpack?" an original video of an original song by me.



First aired Sunday, April 11, 2010.

Supersaturated Street Views - Music Video Edition

If you search Google Street Views on this blog you'll see how long I've been fascinated (obsessed) with this aspect of Google's Total Domination of the Earth. They own my email, this blog, YouTube and the street I live on.

This video combines my one-guitar, one-voice rendition of the very dark American Blues classic "Dock of the Bay" with images of the San Francisco area as seen on Google Street Views, with the saturation pumped up a bunch to give it a dreamy quality. (Assuming you dream in color.) I found the mundane, the sublime, the silly and the sad just by dropping that little yellow man onto the map and moving him up and down the streets of this great American city, trying to frame each scene just so. I've only been to SF a few times, but I was captivated, just like most people who visit that very unique Golden State town. Now I feel like I've been there again.

If I get 1 million views of this video, I might just ride my bike from Orlando to San Francisco in support of some worthy cause, perhaps homeless veterans. I figure it'll take a little over a month. ('Course I'm gonna need a few sponsors, like a motel chain and a restaurant chain, probably a bike shop as well.) If not, I might attempt to sell this song or video on iTunes and try to get enough money to fix the roof, because it's leaking. If the estate of Otis Redding or the monolithic monster Google come after me, I'll jump from that bridge when I come to it. Short of that, just enjoy. And for best results, please crank it up.

Presenting: "Where's My Jetpack?" The Song and The Video

Or: Unemployment Will Make a Man do Weird Things, Part III.

I've put together a song - and a video to go along with it, and I really like how they both turned out. (You're free not to.) It's called, not surprisingly, "Where's My Jetpack?" I went ahead and created a jetpack of sorts for this video. Don't try this at home. Or do. It was a load of fun.

Much thanks go to the phenomenally talented Professor Fred Leo, musician extraordinaire, for his expert advice during the creation of the audio track.


Enjoy...or don't.

Where's My Jetpack? from Radio Free Babylon on Vimeo.

Using the Facebook Vimeo embed here since the sound quality of YouTube leaves much to be desired.

Also, any perceived homage to ancient rockers from Boston is entirely intentional. Best to turn it up loud.  

You Can Not Resist - You Will Do Its Bidding!

I was on an agency website, and they had the "Top 3 songs on your iPod" bit in the bios, along with "Most embarrassing song on your iPod." I know it is considered way uncool to like this song, but it is hard for many of us to deny it. Give in. Succumb to the uncategorizable sounds of Kajagoogoo.

Talkin' to you, David Plain!



OK - they could be categorized under "One-hit-wonder British bands of the 80s," true.

This really could be the new Rick Roll'd, if the intro weren't so long.


Bonus points if anyone knows where "Do Its Bidding!" comes from.

Your Sunday Evenin' Makin' Dinner Music Video

I've always contended that Austin-based Bob Schneider just needs to rebrand and he'd do better. His name is too close to B-list "comedian" and Adam Sandler bud Rob Schneider. Unless someone tells you, "Hey, you shoud listen to this Bob Schneider CD," there's nothing in his "brand" that would cause you to give him a listen. Word of mouth marketing is great, but it only takes you so far. Bob's name doesn't jump at you like "Kid Rock" or "Jay-Z" or even (yes, I'm going to say it) "Kajagoogoo." It's a hindrance. Too common. C'mon, Bob, step it up. Ditch the family pride and get a new name. This song is called "Cap'n Kirk."



A better song (and a really lame fan video) is Big Blue Sea.

Quick Diversion for Short Attention Spans

I'm a big fan of stop motion animation, but it can get old after awhile. I clicked "play" on this video expecting to bail out (like I usually do) after a few seconds. But the simplicity of the concept combined with the infectious sound of Choo Choo La Rouge's "Here Come the Guns" (the guitar-work has a definite Boston sound) made me watch it all the way through. I know I'm not the only one who looks at the total time on a YouTube video and makes an instant judgment based on the length. Thirty seconds to a minute? Sure, I'll watch. Over two minutes? Better be good. Over five minutes? Not watching.



Which reminds me of the trend of late where agencies throw crap up on YouTube and label it an "ad" or a "commercial" when it is really a long, self-indulgent "film" that could only air on YouTube. That's not an ad. That's a naked attempt to be "viral", which, as we all know, works best when it happens by accident. But you go on and listen to your social media consultant/guru who claims he can create a viral video for you that will be seen by millions. When you ask him how he thinks this will affect sales, listen carefully as he explains that it's not about sales, it's about "brand awareness." Everyone's going to be talking about your fake surfing video in the city river, then when they need a wetsuit or a surf-board, your name will be "top of mind."

Seen at Sullivan's blog.

More of my ill-informed opinions on viral here.

Retro Thursday Random Throwback

Because we have YouTube now, and because I wanted to hear it.
You won't mind.

Wow. Some Kind of Award for This Thing Right Now

(Or as mtlb astutely notes on Twitter: Watch it before it becomes ruined for a JC Penney ad.)

It's the simple things.



Via Captain Andrew "Sully" Sullivan.

Another Supremely Overrated Musician

It's Sacrilege Time, baby!

At least the overrated Springsteen writes his own stuff.

Once upon a time in America, there was this country-boy singer who looked like John Elway, and he loved his mama. And he gyrated his hips in such a fashion as to cause hysteria among the young womenfolk. He stole his moves and his style from the black singers, but the black singers were never going to get an audience in white America in the mid-1950s.

Before America knew it, everything this boy did turned to gold. Even his Cadillac was gold. His suits were gold. And he made gold records. And horrible movies. And he never wrote a single song. When he was 24, he fell in love with a 14-year-old girl who to this day continues to capitalize on his name. And he did lots of drugs. And he got fat. And died on the toilet.

The End.

From 1987, the best Elvis homage of all time, San Diego's (by way of Chapel Hill) own Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper performing the psychobilly number "Elvis is Everywhere!"

I Take it Back - Music Video Isn't Dead Yet

This one, from Keb Mo, took some prizes recently at a film festival.



Thanks to Every Sandwich for tweeting about Keb Mo and prompting me to look this up.

There's Just Something About Clouds

Your Monday Morning Moment of Inspiration

A recent study found that 95% of this blog's readers are either atheists, agnostics, unobservant Jews or former church-goers (and I fall into that 95%). But now that the Thanksgiving Holiday is over and the Black Friday mess is cleaned up and you're dreading another week in the bowels of your workplace, toiling like a poorly-paid apprentice for your ungrateful overlords (or your demanding and fickle patrons), take a five-minute break and let this video (shot Sunday morning in the backyard) of the clouds rolling in fast from the Gulf (set to the instrumental "March of the Clouds") be your church or temple for the week. It seems to work for my dog, (the mostly obedient Australian Shepherd, "Roman") who can sit out back and watch the clouds roll by for hours.

Just put it on full screen with the sound up loud and let it wash over your dogged spirit.



See the guitarist performing this piece here.

Copyright Police Have a Sense of Humor After All

I guess they've decided not to fight it and just play along. As long as they can advertise on the video's page.

From the Desk of

Dear RadioFreeBabylon,

Your video "Sweet Soul Alabama" has been identified by YouTube's Content Identification program as containing copyrighted content which UMG claims is theirs.

Your video "Sweet Soul Alabama" is still available because UMG does not object to this content appearing on YouTube at this time. As long as UMG has a claim on your video, they will receive public statistics about your video, such as number of views. Viewers may also see advertising on your video's page.

American Tune - My Last Political Post (Maybe)

"American Tune" by Paul Simon. Some nice production work here on this new :60 from the well-funded and well-oiled Obama campaign some dirty PAC working for Obama.

I don't think anyone's ever used this song in an ad before, much less a political ad. It's like this song has been laying dormant for many, many years, waiting for this time. It's a sad song about America. Read the lyrics here. Really pulling out all the stops here: foreclosure and tough times hitting white America, but they still play baseball to make themselves feel better.

Your Pre-Election, Halloween-Eve Music Video Break

The election season demands this

(You'll thank me when it's over)

Cringe with me, readers, as everyone's favorite diminutive funkmaster embarrasses himself 1988 style in that now-dead medium they called "the music video." It's still a great song if you close your eyes. And even if you keep them open, Prince is one funny, confident guy, graduating with honors from the Sly Stone-Mick Jagger-Steven Tyler school of showmanship. This guy should be in sales, what with all that confidence and stuff.



(I can't help myself. The funk itch must be scratched.)

Is it Time For Another Music Break Already?

Yes. Yes it is. The current climate calls for it. Let that jingly jangly guitar bit from yesteryear (along with the insanely funny production values of the 80s) take away your blues.

(Pardon the :30 pre-roll advert. Price you pay for free video these days.)

(Prince used to be a really pretty girl.)

• Prince
• New Music

Take a Time Out From the Madness for a Moment

Got no rants tonight. This one seems timely.

(By the way, if this does not stir at least your foot to tap, your head to bob or your whole body to sway in what you consider dance, then you officially have no soul.)

There's a Whole Lot of Rhythm Goin' Round

It's not quite as good as Sweet Soul Alabama, but continuing with my newfound hobby of mixing audio with video that shouldn't match but oddly does, here's my second attempt at it. (I really need to take a class in Adobe Premiere Pro.)

I give you square dancers discovering Parliament and tearing the roof off the multi-purpose room at your local Baptist church.

Sweet Soul Alabama

Who says you can't dance to really, really white music?

I don't know what prompted me to create this, but it sure makes me smile. Maybe I just love to see weird juxtapositions and revel in the bizarre, but here we have Redneck Southerners and Urban Blacks finding common ground.

The concept is simple: do a YouTube search for "Soul Train," then do a search for the whitest music known to man, then combine the two. You'd think they'd have nothing in common. Think again. No video editing was done to sync the dancing with the music. So, as it happens, Lynryd Skynryd could be considered funky. Or Soul Train dancers from the 70s could interpret 70s Southern Rock. Who knew? I may have found a new hobby.

This could do more for race relations in our country than the candidacy of Barack Obama. Even more than that Red Hot Chili Peppers video directed by Chris Rock.

Yes We Can put Country First.



And if it makes HighJive laugh, I'm halfway home.

Let's Watch Some Music from the 90s

If I managed a grocery store, I'd buck corporate suggestions for music and create my own loops that would keep the soccer moms shopping while also keeping my pimply-faced cashiers and baggers from going out of their minds. This particular loop would be called "Pop Rock of the 90s."

• And you didn't even know you liked trip-hop. Six Underground, from Sneaker Pimps. (1996)
• All you need for a Peter Murphy video shoot is a light kit, a fan and some cloud footage. He brings his own make-up and a bassist who plays with a violin bow. ("Let's grab some shots of you running in the woods out back.") Here's his 1990 scary hit, Cuts You Up.
• The 90s brought us Angry Chick Rock. It's hard to know which angry Fiona Apple song to include on this list, so I'll just grab one of her best and angriest, Sleep to Dream, from 1996.
• I'll bet breaking into music is easy when Bob Dylan is your dad. The Wallflower's one hit was good, even if it was really just recycled Tom Petty. But the bald dude in young Dylan's band does some nice note-bending. (1996)
• Dave Matthews was inescapable in the 90s. This is the song that pretty much launched him out of Charlottesville in '94. (Catch him this summer in "You Don't Mess With The Zohan," a horrible, horrible movie that made me laugh out loud a number of times.
  
• Harmonica on the previous song was played by John Popper of Blues Traveler. They had a very clever song (and video) in Hook the same year.
• Extremely clever and probably low budget as well, Jamiroquai's 1996 hit Virtual Insanity is still fun to watch. (The room was on wheels, being pushed around a large space.) Sometimes the most creative ideas aren't computer generated or expensive.
  

Yep, did this before. Here and here. And on Bill Green's suggestion, it continues.

Previously in "Music to Shop By":
Grab Can, Lift Arm, Stack Can, Turn Around

There is purposely no Nirvana on this list. I'm sure you can find a thousand sites dedicated to Courtney Love's dead, overrated husband. This is also not a Rolling Stone or VH1-styled "Essential Albums of the 90s" list. It's my list. For my grocery store.