Another Supremely Overrated Musician

It's Sacrilege Time, baby!

At least the overrated Springsteen writes his own stuff.

Once upon a time in America, there was this country-boy singer who looked like John Elway, and he loved his mama. And he gyrated his hips in such a fashion as to cause hysteria among the young womenfolk. He stole his moves and his style from the black singers, but the black singers were never going to get an audience in white America in the mid-1950s.

Before America knew it, everything this boy did turned to gold. Even his Cadillac was gold. His suits were gold. And he made gold records. And horrible movies. And he never wrote a single song. When he was 24, he fell in love with a 14-year-old girl who to this day continues to capitalize on his name. And he did lots of drugs. And he got fat. And died on the toilet.

The End.

From 1987, the best Elvis homage of all time, San Diego's (by way of Chapel Hill) own Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper performing the psychobilly number "Elvis is Everywhere!"

Things That Never Should've Happened

On a completely unrelated image search, I came upon this horrific nightmare, now appropriately reflecting the thoughts of both of these sick individuals. And the rest of the world.

Holy Cow

A local news station, desperate for news, ran two stories yesterday I could've done without. One was about a cat owner who sees an image of Jesus in her cat's fur. The other was about a plumber who sees an image of the Virgin Mary in a stain in a sink.

I couldn't see what they were seeing, and rarely can when these dumb things show up. Elvis in your grilled cheese. The Pope in a fire. Mary in the window of an office building. And it's always Jesus, Mary and Elvis. How did Elvis make that grade? Oh, well. Maybe some people get a faith lift out of imagining this stuff.

But until your dairy cow sports an image of Jesus like the one below, I won't be seeing what you're seeing.