GM, Goodby Pulling Stupid Stunt

In today's New York Times, an internal Chevrolet memo is reported on, and I'm calling "Bullshit." According to two idiots in GM's upper management,

"We’d ask that whether you’re talking to a dealer, reviewing dealer advertising or speaking with friends and family, that you communicate our brand as Chevrolet moving forward."

They also say,

"When you look at the most recognized brands throughout the world, such as Coke or Apple for instance, one of the things they all focus on is the consistency of their branding. Why is this consistency so important? The more consistent a brand becomes, the more prominent and recognizable it is with the consumer. This is a big opportunity for us moving forward."

As if Coke isn't also called Coca-Cola. And yes, they said, "Moving forward" twice. The article then quotes one Klaus-Peter Martin, a GM spokesman, who confirmed the memo, saying, "We’re going to use Chevrolet instead of Chevy going forward in our communications." Martin said the move is linked to Chevy's switch to new agency Goodby, Silverstein & Partners.

Going forward. Moving forward. Branding. Consistency in branding. Bullshit. As if Chevy isn't just as well known a name (if not more so) as Chevrolet. If this is Goodby's doing, I'm disappointed. An agency known for good work shouldn't pull stupid stunts like this. This has the stench of set-up. I suspect a turnaround in a few months. A calculated and transparent "change of heart" where the big wigs at Chevy will announce something to the effect of,

"The American people have spoken. They love the nickname "Chevy." We miscalculated in our efforts to be consistent in our branding. We can no more change America's mind about America's favorite car than we could ask them not to salute the flag, eat apple pie and play baseball. Going forward, you can call Chevrolet "Chevy" all you want, and you can keep calling it America's favorite car."

If I'm wrong and this isn't just a stupid stunt, then it's just plain stupid. A brand should be lucky to have an affectionate nickname. McDonald's embraces "Mickey D's" and up until now, Chevrolet has always embraced "Chevy."

And not surprisingly, a few pages after the article is a full-page ad from Chevy announcing that its Equinox model has won some award from Consumer's Digest. And where do they tell us we can go to learn more? Chevy.com.

(Go on. Click it. I worked hard mutilating this old Chevy ad)

And This is Why They Invented the Extended Cab

Copy-heavy ad from 1984 featuring three very close friends.

It's Got a Great Beat and It Makes Me Buy Cars

Too often, advertisers for cars don't even try anymore. Find a song you like and put some images up. Done. For instance, Spoon for Jaguar. Or more currently, Phoenix's "1901" being used by Cadillac. Lincoln is triple dipping these days, putting Shiny Toy Guns cover of "Major Tom" to work for the MKZ, Cat Power's cover of "Space Oddity" for the MKS, and here's one for the MKT, trying to get into the heads of people who remember this song.



It is a good song, but this cover by Sia is a little on the anemic side.

Here's the real one, from The Church, 1989. I'm glad these long forgotten Aussie boys are making some coin from Lincoln, but I wish I'd never seen their video for the song now. They're doing that gross, 80s stare at the camera thing while telling a disjointed story about a girl walking around with a gold frame, a style perfected by their far more successful countryman Michael Hutchence.



Anyway, now that that trip through the glory days of Australian rock is over, I don't think this sells a single car.

When Do The Rest of Us Get Our Bailouts?

Click for Copy

Buy American

How dare you ask "Why?" Because it's the American thing to do!

And if you don't, the government will make sure these failed car companies stay in business, because we're Americans and we stick by Americans, even when they suck at their jobs, and they build an inferior product, and they pay their employees too much, and they ignore market demand.

What's wrong with you? You hate America?

Clicken Machen Grossen Imagen

I find myself firmly in the "Let Them Die" camp on this one. It's business. You failed. You eat it. Don't saddle me with your fuck-ups.

A Firmer, Longer Car Pleases the Ladies

There's no way she isn't talking her husband into this purchase. There's an extra four inches, and it has her moaning. I know people were a little more naive back then, but surely this wasn't lost on a whole bunch of people, including the creators of the ad.

The Artificial Male Enhancer - Since 1953

For all the hate that the Hummer gets, I don't think nearly enough vitriol has been directed at this target, just as deserving, just as expensive and just as much a gas hog.