Seven (Future) Things About Me

During the last round of "Seven Things About Me," the blogger meme where you tell....yes... seven (likely unknown) things about yourself...I opted out when a few of my virtual friends asked me to play along, citing my previous involvement in the game.

I've rethought it and decided to play, but with a twist.

I will reveal seven things about my future self, and then call out a few bloggers to do the same.

1. After the publication of my epic saga and the subsequent sale of the movie rights to Spike Lee (who was in a bitter bidding war with Ron Howard), I was able to move to Adelaide, SA and became a citizen of Australia. I think it was the appointment of Sean Hannity as Secretary of Patriotism by President Limbaugh that finally tipped the scales.
2. I finally learned to surf, but finding surf in SA without great white sharks isn’t easy.
3. We have a vineyard and farm in the Barossa Valley. We make some wine, but we always end up drinking it all or giving it away as gifts. The farm is mostly an excuse for our dog to practice sheep herding, which he sucks at.
4. Whenever we visit the States (maybe once a year, lately) we like to mess with people by acting like we can’t understand them through their thick accents.
5. Our daily 30-minute show (Monday-Friday, live online) Radio Free Babylon, was banned in Saudi Arabia. Again. After that, Pepsi stopped sponsoring us, leaving the door open for Coke. The contract says we have to drink it on-camera, but I usually spike mine.
6. During the Canadian-American War, I started stockpiling weapons, water and food. Don’t come looking for them.
7. I can finally speak Spanish fluently, which is useless down here.

And now, your turn:

Bill
Kym
Kaitlyn
Chimp
Lori
MMM
Stan
Broad
Corey

Seven Other Places

Links can be your ticket to riches!
(Sometimes referred to as "Affiliate Marketing.")

Here are seven other places you could be right now on this great big webbed thing we call the Intertube.

1. Pork Earmarks. Speckles is out of touch and Unfit to Lead.
2. Baltimore's own M.M. McDermott explains why Gates/Seinfeld were successful for Microsoft.
3. Rick Sanchez is twitting, tweeting and facebooking the hell out of the Wall Street thing.
4. Drew sometimes strikes out. Drawing two comics a day will do that to anyone. He hits a homer with "Interview over Lunch."
5. Leave Alec Alone! "Like a bareback unicorn orgy on a cloud made of rainbow colored cookie dough."
6. "He's on the agency side, she's on the client side." (Sounds like the lead-in to a sitcom.) A new ad blog called "Married to the Enemy."
7. Uncle Sam comin' to get ya! (From my other blog, a place to indulge my other personalities, because admitting you're insane is the first step toward recovery.)

Seven Other Places

Here are 7 other places you can be right now.
(But I will open the link in a new browser window so you stay your ass right here!)

• Carnies for McCain
• There's Strong, and there's Abercrombie Strong
• Contextual Ad Disaster
• Henry goes shopping. Full of fail.
• Expect to see this picture for a long time to come
• Sarah Palin's (fake) blog
• Lazy blogger post generator

I'm a Bad Blogger

Apologies to my blogging buds, whom I've neglected by not commenting on their blogs regularly as I used to. Reason is the Evil Corporate Masters, who prevent me from seeing anything with the suffix of .blogspot, .typepad or .wordpress. I can see you in my reader and always read your stuff, but that's it. Unless I get to you at home after work or on the weekends, I'm a negligent blogger.

Apologies to AdRants, AdScam, Agency Tart, American Copywriter, Catch Up Lady, Brand DNA, Chimp Media Monitoring, Copyranter, Every Sandwich, Hespos, Heybeus, Life in the Garden, Married to the Sea, Make The Logo Bigger, Mental Hygiene, MultiCult Classics, New York Punk, RayTube, Renegade Agency Confessional, Scamp, Texan in Hippieland, The AdHole, The Daily (Ad) Biz, The Assimilated Negro, Thinking in Vain, Toadstool, Why Advertising Sucks, Yes But No But Yes, Yonder Ponder.

Some of you have also been very negligent, not posting to your own blogs in months. Blogging is tough work, I know, but if you remain dormant, I've got to pull you from the "Linkers and Lurkers" list and replace you with something new. No offense, but if you've quit, I'm not keeping you around out of respect for your blog's memory. Not that I don't respect your blog's memory...but you know what I mean.

On the plus side, Evil Corporate Masters today announced a permanent switch from Business Casual to Totally Casual all the time, not just on Fridays. So maybe not so Evil after all.

Seven Other Places

Here are seven other places on the Internet you could be right now.

1. Every Presidential campaign logo since 1960. (Page might take some time to load.)
2. It's an animated chimp movie, with jetpacks! (With Amtrak as a sponsor? Sure to suck.)
3. Huge in Brazil, ancient Canadian power trio Rush. Their fans down there even sing to the instrumentals.
4. Meatwater. (Thanks, Fish & Chimps.)
5. The Obama worship has officially gone too far.
6. Passionate-White-person-teaches-inner-city-youth-to-shine.
7. A cool design firm wants you to work for them. You'll have to move to Jordan.

Seven Other Places

Here are seven other places on the Internet you could be.

• Sometimes I think Drew at Married to the Sea does his comics on acid. Other times, weed. I think he did this one on weed. The acid ones aren't as funny.
• Is love blossoming between an AE and a creative? Or is someone about to be stalked?
• God has a special woman for you, and she's got big tits.
• Good intentions getting twisted into meaninglessness.
• From north of Bal'more comes something refreshing : an agency blog that doesn't suck.
• Those MLMers always get testy when you shut 'em down.
• A satirist rewrites Shakespeare in chav-speak, including "MacBeff" and "De Taming of de Bitch."

A Hovercraft in Every Drive

Instant breakfast on the table at 6:45

Friends of the show Jason Fox and Russ Smith both sent in links this week to sites about actual working jetpacks.

Jason, a Dallas-based copywriter who authors the hilarious Ad Hole, (and is now the proud father of twins. Congratulations, Mr. & Mrs. Fox.) sent in this one. Russ, (who I'm not sure I know what he does, but he reads this blog and might live in either Ohio or Colorado based on his Picasa set) sent in this one.

Thanks to both of them for the heads-up, but as I've said before, until a jetpack is available at Wal-Mart for a decent price and can go more than a quarter mile on a tank of fuel, this blog's name stays as is.

(I'll be linking to you both this weekend in the "Linkers and Lurkers" section to the right. Also, Joker, who writes a thoughtful blog and comments here late at night after he's been drinking heavily. Unless Joker is Russ Smith.)

On another note, I suppose it's time to cease receiving US flag redesign submissions, since Ben Mall, better known to the Internet as Texan in Hippieland, was the only one who sent in a design. Here's Ben's. It looks suspiciously similar to the Texas flag.

And She Shall Dance and Sing Aloud

Two more old ad oddities sites I've stumbled upon.

One is called Modern Mechanix. It's like some guy has inherited his grandfather's old magazine collection and sits for many hours a day scanning articles and ads, then writing out all the copy in each ad under the image. One man's obsession is your entertainment.

Another is Devil Duck which appears to grab from other sites more often than not but sprinkles in some unique weirdness.

Link Laundry

Some T-shirt shout-outs for some stuff I've been wasting time on this week when I was supposed to be working.



James has been pondering Hell in the heat of a poop-filled Dallas backyard.





It's a small blog world. Jordan's uncrowned king of design bloggers is Ahmad Humeid. Visit his blog at 360East. Also visit his company, Syntax.





The Assimilated Negro is moving on up, having been published at HuffPo and the new EbonyJet.




A local radio guy, whose station IDs and creative productions are stellar, is on the ground floor of some new Web 2.0-ish endeavor, complete with "beta" underneath. Good place to find blog ideas.





Kym gave a full three-weeks notice and her boss still went all vindictive psycho on her.






Copyranter is under the impression that Campari is trying to use Salma Hayek's breasts to sell liquor. Always reading into things.

Friday F*ckin' Off

In the spirit of Bill's Weekly WTF and Mark's Link Haze, here's some weird stuff to wile away the hours in your cube while you wait for the whistle to blow, signaling the end of another work week - with you no better prepared for retirement.

Straight Cash Homey: The guy who brought us the fake Drew Bledsoe blog, TonyHomo, is now collecting pictures of people in jerseys. I don't know why. Vaguely funny, but how long can it last?


He's a mysterious and minor character on NBC's The Office, but he writes a pretty funny blog. Check out Creed Thoughts and gaze with wonder at the amount of comments on each post. Network comedy writers have the sweetest jobs.


They've got scissors, scanners, and access to stacks and stacks of their grandparents' magazines. The people of LiveJournal's Vintage Ad Community are hard at work wasting my time.



Married to the Sea has apparently exhausted their supply of 19th Century illustrations and have a new look that is best described as 1970s Sunday School Clip Art. It's weird when a comic rebrands, but it's just as twisted-witty as before.