Tuesday, September 01, 2015

Septembers

This morning as I walked the circle clockwise and the school bus picking up high-schoolers drove it counter-clockwise, we passed twice. Both times I walked as close as I could to the bus in the predawn light and immediately stepped into its wake as it passed.

That bright yellow blur in the early hours is a nostalgic send-off for anyone who grew up in America. I wanted to feel the wind, smell the diesel and see if maybe I could find exactly what it is and where we go when we see the school bus. I didn't really. Nostalgia is never so exact. By nature it's vague.

Maybe it's just the notion of Autumn creeping in, and September signals that, that sends us to a place in our memories that we imagine as innocent. It's never January you think of when you see a school bus, or God forbid, February. And while I can't think of a particular place or a specific time that school buses call up for me, in my mind there's a slight chill in the air and a sense that the day ahead holds promise. It's vague.

But today's high will be 91 and summer isn't over in Florida until November.

I'm not complaining. The day still holds promise.   

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Wednesday, August 26, 2015

I'm Going to Blog Again...Again


I kinda don't care if anyone notices. I don't need the attention.

But I need to write.

I write for a living, but what I write is often watered down by the time it makes it out into the world, diluted by people who think they know what the market will respond to. So I spend a lot of time copying and pasting things that have already been watered down.

That's fine. Sometimes, it's not art.

I may migrate this blog over to Random Scratch, once the Google Blogger team fixes whatever is ailing my new template.

In the past, this place was advertising-industry-focused. There will probably be a lot of that again, as I both work in advertising and am a student of the....I can't say "craft," can I? In the sense that it is a dark art, maybe I can say "craft." After all, we're all about tricking, deception, sleight of hand, misdirection, and often lying with the help of an asterisk. Fine...craft.

I'm off to practice my craft.

 

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Friday, September 09, 2011

Geico Rarely Misses

Writing and casting perfection. It doesn't make me want to go to the hassle of switching from my current insurance, but I love it. Is Geico still a Martin client?

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Friday, February 04, 2011

Post Number 2000

I've tried to make this blog more about quality than quantity. It has been for me, above all, a creative outlet, because we all know how hard it is to actually be creative, even in a supposedly creative industry. (As I tell every "creative," keep a real creative passion on the side just to keep you sane, because you will never fully satisfy your need to create through your work.) 

And with that, I'm putting this blog on indefinite hiatus. It's been a fun four and a half years, but it's time to do some other things. I need to sell a book, or write another couple. I need to land a full-time job*. Or get a degree in architecture. Maybe I'll record some more music. Maybe I'll put a little more effort into some other neglected endeavors. Maybe I'll clean out the attic. It's good to reinvent yourself. Just ask Bowie.

I will still be on Twitter and probably still posting things at Radio Free Babylon. And I might bring this blog back to its regular posting frequency after I've had some time to miss it. As I said, it's a hiatus.

* If you need a résumé, just search the archives of this blog and you'll get a good idea of what I do. I'm entertaining all offers east of the Mississippi. If you still want to play the old-school game of "objective, experience, education," find me on Linked-In.

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Saturday, October 23, 2010

Writers, Get a Job By Updating Your Resume

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Wednesday, October 06, 2010

I'm Late for Soccer Rehearsal

Genius in a :30 is hard to find, but FedEx is on a roll. This one  is titled "Exchange Student." Writing, casting, storyline - all perfect.



By BBDO New York.

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Thursday, August 12, 2010

A Picture. A Thousand Words.

Having just completed a freelance assignment wherein I had to edit and organize a 24-page brochure, (I overestimated my time at 12 hours and delivered in a mere four, once again failing to master the subtle art of milking a job) I am now in need of a writing exercise. So I will write exactly 1000 words about the image found within the text below.


Back in the old days, there was apparently some sort of union of beer makers that promoted the general consumption of beer - any American beer - so long as you drank beer. Their true and main purpose was lobbying. They kept pressure on Congress to limit the taxation of beer. Like any good lobbying organization, they kept their constituency riled up for the fight. “Beer is your right. It is your God-given inheritance as a freeman of these great United States. You should enjoy it in health, just as Benjamin Franklin and Samuel Adams did.” (Historical note: It is said that none other than George Washington would ply voters with “strong beer.”)

The Association would place full-page ads in popular periodicals showing how much better life is when you have plenty of beer on hand. The organization operated much like the American Dairy Association, which doesn’t care what brand of milk you drink, just please support the dairy industry. The brewers were a cooperative lot in those days. During World War I, “the income tax replaced liquor taxes as the primary source of federal revenue,” and after promoting their beverage for over a hundred years - with a brief intermission during Prohibition - the Association disbanded in 1986. So apparently we can thank the lobbying efforts of this organization for limiting taxes on beer, but giving the government nowhere else to turn but to your income for money. That thought saddens me, making me want to drink a lot of beer right now.

This ad from the Association, apparently from the 1950s, gives us a whole lot to look at, with plenty of suggestions as to what is transpiring during this magical afternoon in a suburban garden that has been interrupted by a sudden spring shower. Like many great illustrations of that period, it tells a story, making you look deeper, inviting you to draw your own conclusions and assign your own roles to the players.



1) “Let’s just sit awhile.” The copy suggests that the beer said that. I doubt it. One of these two middle-aged planters uttered that phrase as the rain came down.

2) The “blocks of primary colors” style of décor, popular in the day, suggests that whoever lives here, likely the woman, is a person of taste, up with the times, her off-the-patio gardening room a pre-Ikea shrine to fastidious organization.

3) The illustrator has added what appear to be some cryptic writing and a drawing above the hanging yard implements in the gardening room. This is probably a hidden message known only to him and the copywriter. (I say “him” only because men dominated the field in those days.)

4) This last block of copy is awesome, making no bones about its call to action: “Wouldn’t you like a refreshing glass of beer or ale – say, right now?” Stop what you’re doing and go get some beer!

5) It was no oversight on the part of the artist not to include a wedding band on the woman. This is meant to intrigue you, leaving you to wonder why a woman of her age is not married. Divorced? Widowed? A professional who hasn’t wanted to “settle down” yet, despite all her sorority sisters having done so a decade and a half ago? You make your own story.

6) It has been raining long enough that the wheelbarrow is overflowing with water. Either this little party has been going on for some time or this is a freak storm that the couple isn’t really freaking out about.

7) Jim, or Ted, or Mike or Jack - some generic Anglo name of the day – is making it clear that he’s had a tough day and this beer is really what he needed, and perhaps a shoulder rub, if the lady would be so kind as to please take the hint.

8) Again, we are promoting any beer – green bottle, brown bottle, labels facing away from us – doesn’t matter, just drink any American beer. The lady keeps plenty of varieties on hand for occasions such as this.

9) I am not positive, but a tight zoom-in on the man’s wristwatch seems to indicate that the little hand is on the 12, big hand about 10 past. As long as it’s after noon, it’s beer time. Quit thinking of 5:00 PM as the time to drink. That was meant for wine and spirits. We’re talking beer here. Besides, this is probably Saturday or Sunday and you can have beer for breakfast on those days.

10) Again, the couple has been out here for some time, the cheese starting to curl and brown in the heat. They are too involved in this beer-drinking respite to have even bothered eating the cheese and crackers.

11) Sanitation be damned. These folks are in a party mood. They will throw caution to the wind and lay their dirty implements and gloves on the table with the cheese and crackers. They will also likely forgo the use of birth control later.

12) In order to be able to read the copy, the illustrator was asked not to color in the feet and the area under the table. Today they would just dial back the opacity or desaturate this section of the photograph, but this style shows you the art behind the work and was a trendy technique used by many illustrators of the period.

13) The drinking couple are getting flirtatious, her foot under his chair. And while we can’t see his left foot, it would appear from here that it is under her right knee, likely touching. Beer helps subordinate the inhibitions, the social lubricant that can turn an afternoon of gardening into a rainy-day romp in the sheets.

14) “America’s Beverage of Moderation” was how they used to say “Drink Responsibly.” I like their version better because it’s far more subtle and undemanding.

15) A nice little panel shows the American beer drinker that the brewers would prefer that you enjoy a foamy head on your beer. “Tastes even better that way!” Don’t tilt the glass.
    (Word count: 1000)

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      Friday, May 28, 2010

      The Asterisk is Your Friend

      Years ago, in a meeting between representatives from the legal, sales and marketing departments, someone suggested, "Really, we can pretty much say anything we want if we put an asterisk next to it, and then explain the overstatement or blatant lie on the back or the bottom in very small print."
      In this case, that fine print would read: You can't really COUNT the peanuts and measure that count against the number of all the other nuts combined. When we say, "Less than 50%," we mean by weight. So, if you want, you can weigh all the peanuts and compare that result against the weight of all the other nuts combined and you'll find that it probably comes in at around 49.99999%. But don't you think it's cool how we managed to hide all the peanuts under a layer of the better nuts carefully placed on the top of the can? Do you know how long it took us to accomplish that feat of packaging? It's like automated food styling!"

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      Monday, May 24, 2010

      So, Me and 364 Other People...

      It's a big list with some notable names. I see Bob and Angela coming up soon. My day was yesterday and it was an honor to be included among such august company. It's called The 3six5 Project and is the brainchild of Len Kendall and Daniel Honigman. They gathered 365 people to write a post of no more than 365 words. Being the type who likes to meet word count guidelines, my post comes in at exactly 365 words. (Shut up. It's not THAT psycho.)

      You're supposed to write about your assigned day, which is half the challenge. On Saturday I'm going, "What the hell am I going to write about? It'll just be a boring Sunday filled with yard work more than likely." Then I awoke to something to write about. It was still yard work, though.

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      Wednesday, February 24, 2010

      We Interrupt This Broadcast

      Over the weekend, I read what has been widely acclaimed as a pretty good novel by a well-known author. I came away from his book saying, "What a pile of crap. That thing I wrote in 30 days is better than this." But the game of publishing is, in fact, a game, all the more these days when publishers are freaking out about the viability of their industry. I'll keep standing on the sidelines hoping to play, shouting for the coach to put me in, but I'm going to bend the rules now.

      Nothing like self-publishing; the ultimate "Bite me!" to the REAL publishing world. Downside, of course, is that no one reads it and you never see a dime, not that most authors make any money anyway. So I decided, "Why not take self-publishing one step further and just say, "Fuck it," posting the manuscript I wrote, in its entirety, here on Blogger? Maybe it'll catch the eye of a literary agent or publisher, or maybe it will expose me for the hack that I am, a risk I have been taking here on this blog for four years. 

      Raise your hand if you have a great idea for a screenplay. Raise your hand if you think you've written the killer novel. (It has Vampires in it? Excellent!) We would-be writers and hopeful authors hold on to our "works" as if they are undiscovered gold, clutching them to our chests lest some plagiarist see them, recognize their worth, and steal them. That's bullshit. Throw it out there. See what happens. 

      We now return you to your regularly scheduled whatever it was we were doing here.

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