A Commercial Too Far

Comes a time when you have to get out while the getting's good, otherwise you look like Joe Montana with the Chiefs, or Michael Jordan in his second comeback. Same holds here with the Geico Caveman concept. The "Words with Friends" episode with Brian Orakpo was nominally passable, but in this one we've taken the hipster, sardonic caveman, whose specialty was acting insulted in a resigned, shoulder-shrugging way, and turned him into a silly, shrill character. Didn't they learn anything from the failed sitcom they tried to turn this into?



I observed a few 14-year old boys watching this over the weekend. They all said (in unison) words to this effect: "That was stupid."

Geico Rarely Misses

Writing and casting perfection. It doesn't make me want to go to the hassle of switching from my current insurance, but I love it. Is Geico still a Martin client?

Immitation is the Sincerest Form of Admitting You've Got Nothing

A local Ford dealer has decided that copying a popular Geico campaign will help them sell cars and trucks. I think not. A forgettable, regrettable effort on the part of Tropical Ford, but so sad that I jumped up from a reclined position to find it on YouTube.

Back from the Blog Expo

It took seeing the new Geico commercial to remind me that I have an xtranormal account, which is a great tool, even the free version. In this little movie, Drew is back from Vegas, reporting to his supervisor on what he "took away" from the blogging and new media conference.

Do You Know This Man?

Hint: He's enjoying new royalties and renewed (hopefully brief) fame.

Hint: Real name: Kennedy William Gordy - so it's not like he needed the money anyway.

Give up?

OK: Here he is.

In the Year 2012, Your Soul Will Belong to Google (or Geico)

It's not just NYC, LA, Miami and Denver anymore. It seems Google has just about finished mapping the country and has uploaded a bunch more street views, so even many of you people in the far reaches of flyover America are not immune from the Google Eye. (Not to be confused with the stupid new Geico campaign featuring the googley eyes. DUMB! Martin Agency: call me - you're now too close to the work and can't see what works anymore. Googley eyes might make kids laugh and a couple people might remember that horrific song from the 80s you're now using, but that shit won't sell insurance.)

Here's an area I randomly zoomed in to, somewhere northwest of Amarillo, Texas. Find your home. See if you can see yourself naked in the bedroom window.

I Know! We'll Use Cavemen!

Bentonville, Arkansas, home of Wal-Mart, is apparently also the home of Fuse Fitness Center. While the Geico Cavemen remain somewhat popular, (created by the Martin Agency, who also landed the Wal-Mart account just before they stole my Frampton idea) the folks at Fuse figured they'd jump on the bandwagon.

But these are not your urbane, sardonic cavemen as created for Geico and then ruined by ABC. These are more or less just your average mulleted Ozark Neanderthals in sleeveless flannel shirts.



In many Arkansas towns, the boys just sew the sleeves back on come winter.

I sympathize with the creators of this ad. I used to have to deal with this crap when I was a TV writer/producer not very far from Bentonville. They wanted to do something "fresh" and "new" and "different" from all the other gym ads, but they had no budget, substandard production equipment, a guy from the gym who wanted to be on camera as spokesman, bad acting, extras (unpaid) overacting and a voiceover talent who brings the lifeless script just the perfect lifeless tone and inflection. And they had to shoot late at night when the gym was closed, (apparently without a light kit) so you can't even see the cavemen in the closing shot.

The total cost for producing this ad, including mullet wigs, was probably around $330.

But as far as getting the word out in Bentonville about Fuse, it's probably doing the trick. And they do address a good point - one reason people avoid gyms is to avoid the fathead muscle grunters you typically find in gyms.

And the spokesdude has been getting noticed at Wal-Mart, with people coming up to him saying, "Hey! Aren't you that guy from the gym?" He fakes a sheepish look as he hands them his card and says, "My boss is gonna kill me for offering this, but if you join today, I'll knock 10% off your membership fee."

The Long Road to Redemption

It took him about 30 years, but the backlash may finally be subsiding.

The latest in Geico's "Celebrity Interpreters" series features none other than Peter Frampton and his talkbox.



As I noted back in June, "I've always thought someone should use Frampton's talkbox in an ad."

Hey, Martin Agency, are you people reading "Where's My Jetpack?" I'd be happy to help you start an Orlando branch office*. Well, I'd also want to stay on and have a corner suite with a wet bar. And a healthy, healthy salary.

Guitarists, you can make the same silly noises as Peter with your very own Framptone.

*Martin: I'm serious. Not about the wet bar part. Unless you think that's OK.

Geico Establishes a Perimeter

After a few very unflattering reviews of some pre-released scenes of the new sitcom based on the Geico Cavemen, Geico has asked the producers to scrap the show, exercising their legal rights via a “suck clause” inserted in the agreement at the last hour by Geico lawyers. ABC is reportedly “disappointed with the decision” made by Geico, supposedly arrived at after a conference with copywriters at The Martin Agency, creators of the Caveman characters.

But the future is not hopeless for Caveman fans hoping to see more of the offended Neanderthals. Rumors circulating suggest that Martin and Geico have teamed with Fox to allow the introduction of a Geico Caveman at CTU in next season’s 24. A person close to the production said, “CTU is filled with overly sensitive, catty people saying snarky things while trying to save the world. It’s the perfect environment for the Caveman.”

The “character placement” will be paid for by Geico, allowing episodes to run longer with fewer commercial interruptions. The character is not expected to directly shill for Geico in the hit series.

"C'mon! We have some integrity," said a Geico spokesperson.

Seriously, if you're really believing this, send me some cash and I'll make sure a rich Nigerian widow loads your bank account with untraceable drug money.

Fine Art Exhibit - Colour Photography

This week's showcase image is entitled, "The Aftermath of the Sinking of the Gecko's Boat." This original photograph is available as a colour print (12" x 10" - £280) or as a litho print (12" x 10" - £230.)

Black and white and lith prints are printed on fibre-based paper to archival standards; colour prints are printed on Fuji Crystal Archive paper. All prints are individually hand printed only when you order.

And when you spell "colour" with a "u" and price things in Pounds, it seems more worth the asking price.

This week's image made possible by the omnipresence of the newest "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie and the photographer's/blogger's wish to see the Geico Gecko murdered.

Give it an English Accent, We'll Buy It

It's time to kill the Gecko, Geico's distant 3rd campaign to sell insurance, behind Caveman (98% favorable rating*) and Celebrities Helping Ordinary Folks Talk (66% favorable rating*) Step on him, light him afire, hose him down with poison.

If you listen to any Geico Gecko spots on the radio or see them on TV, take away the English accent, and they really are quite bland. Nothing funny, just that peppy, happy, congenial accent keeps you listening. Granted, insurance is a bland product, but relying on a lizard with an accent is not exactly creative.

We Americans are suckers for the Brit ways. As a character in the film Love Actually rightfully pointed out, "American girls would seriously dig me with my cute British accent."

The Martin Agency is on to that, exploiting it to the hilt. Phoning it in.

And it's not just the accent we get suckered into. Way too many Americans now sign off their emails with "Cheers!" That's fine if it's coming from George Parker or The Chimp Messiah, who grew up with it and whose Moms and Dads and schoolmates said it (should I have said "Mums"?) But coming from an American, it sounds affected, pretentious and fake. Think Madonna.

But let's not stop in Merry ol' England. The Commonwealth's Prisoner Exile - that land Down Under - holds an equally mesmerizing effect on the American mongrel. In additon to "Cheers!" being adopted by culture-starved New Worlders, we've now taken to saying "No Worries!" in our speech and written communications. We snap up Aussie shampoos and conditioners and there's a line to get a table at the local Outback. What's the matter with us? It's like we're turning Japanese, buying sweatshirts with gibberish English slogans on them.

So, advertisers, if you want to see your US sales go through the roof, hire an English or Aussie pitchman/woman. Don't even worry about compelling copy. (Make it a real accent and not a faked one by an American voiceover artist. And not John Cleese. He's done.) We're lured by those Anglo roots. They speak of a bygone day; of authority, aristocracy and authenticity.

God Save the Queen. And her Wanker Son.

*Figures entirely made up and based solely on the author's opinions.