Geico Establishes a Perimeter

After a few very unflattering reviews of some pre-released scenes of the new sitcom based on the Geico Cavemen, Geico has asked the producers to scrap the show, exercising their legal rights via a “suck clause” inserted in the agreement at the last hour by Geico lawyers. ABC is reportedly “disappointed with the decision” made by Geico, supposedly arrived at after a conference with copywriters at The Martin Agency, creators of the Caveman characters.

But the future is not hopeless for Caveman fans hoping to see more of the offended Neanderthals. Rumors circulating suggest that Martin and Geico have teamed with Fox to allow the introduction of a Geico Caveman at CTU in next season’s 24. A person close to the production said, “CTU is filled with overly sensitive, catty people saying snarky things while trying to save the world. It’s the perfect environment for the Caveman.”

The “character placement” will be paid for by Geico, allowing episodes to run longer with fewer commercial interruptions. The character is not expected to directly shill for Geico in the hit series.

"C'mon! We have some integrity," said a Geico spokesperson.

Seriously, if you're really believing this, send me some cash and I'll make sure a rich Nigerian widow loads your bank account with untraceable drug money.