Give it an English Accent, We'll Buy It

It's time to kill the Gecko, Geico's distant 3rd campaign to sell insurance, behind Caveman (98% favorable rating*) and Celebrities Helping Ordinary Folks Talk (66% favorable rating*) Step on him, light him afire, hose him down with poison.

If you listen to any Geico Gecko spots on the radio or see them on TV, take away the English accent, and they really are quite bland. Nothing funny, just that peppy, happy, congenial accent keeps you listening. Granted, insurance is a bland product, but relying on a lizard with an accent is not exactly creative.

We Americans are suckers for the Brit ways. As a character in the film Love Actually rightfully pointed out, "American girls would seriously dig me with my cute British accent."

The Martin Agency is on to that, exploiting it to the hilt. Phoning it in.

And it's not just the accent we get suckered into. Way too many Americans now sign off their emails with "Cheers!" That's fine if it's coming from George Parker or The Chimp Messiah, who grew up with it and whose Moms and Dads and schoolmates said it (should I have said "Mums"?) But coming from an American, it sounds affected, pretentious and fake. Think Madonna.

But let's not stop in Merry ol' England. The Commonwealth's Prisoner Exile - that land Down Under - holds an equally mesmerizing effect on the American mongrel. In additon to "Cheers!" being adopted by culture-starved New Worlders, we've now taken to saying "No Worries!" in our speech and written communications. We snap up Aussie shampoos and conditioners and there's a line to get a table at the local Outback. What's the matter with us? It's like we're turning Japanese, buying sweatshirts with gibberish English slogans on them.

So, advertisers, if you want to see your US sales go through the roof, hire an English or Aussie pitchman/woman. Don't even worry about compelling copy. (Make it a real accent and not a faked one by an American voiceover artist. And not John Cleese. He's done.) We're lured by those Anglo roots. They speak of a bygone day; of authority, aristocracy and authenticity.

God Save the Queen. And her Wanker Son.

*Figures entirely made up and based solely on the author's opinions.