Spellcheck!

How many gas pumps in how many cities carry this warning, I wonder. It's just the copywriter in me that gets annoyed that this made it past who knows how many people.

When Today was a Hyphenated Word

This depressing headline is what happens when you let government agencies create the motivational posters. Heads down, the men arrive to their dreary factory jobs in the cold dim of dawn. It's another day.

(Harp SFX as scene goes to black and white. Transition to factory boss rounding up the crew outside the gate for the morning pep talk.)

It's 1937, you jackleg bastards! And a whole lotta boys ain't got work. At least you have jobs, you ungrateful scoundrels, so why don't you buck up, take your measly daily wage and go buy some whiskey? Drown yourself in the only thing that might temporarily erase the shame of not being able to join the Army like the rest of the able-bodied men of this country. In five years, the Army will take the whole sorry lot of you, regardless of your pathetic conditions. And women...THAT'S RIGHT I SAID WOMEN! will take your shitty jobs. For half the pay! In the meantime, you sad excuses for humanity, get in there and start producing.

And make the day safe, you sunsuvbitches. One more severed limb during the day shift will mean mean smaller portions of horsemeat in your lunches!

Image via Vintagraph.

Spellcheck, Damnit!

Click to proofread

You'd figure if you're going to outfit a fleet of service trucks with vinyl lettering, you might at least....never mind.

Snapped on the way into work in illiterate Orlando.

Previously in "Spellchecker."

It's The Little Things

Great ad, if you ask me. Simple headline, bold yet elegant art direction. The copy acknowledges the current economic situation. "You got laid off and you are going out on interviews. Wear a tie that says, 'I'm a serious candidate.'" I would've given the area below the knot a more symmetrical fold, thus adding the vague innuendo of....something. But still, that's a little thing.

I hate ties and will avoid wearing them unless they are absolutely required. There's just something about being choked that doesn't appeal to me. There is no function to a tie. It is a holdover from the days of frilly shirts, stockings and powdered wigs. It is merely a statement, an accessory, a custom that I hoped would be dead by now. I unfortunately own a few, none of which are as sharp as this Countess Mara tie.

The ad says, "available at Macy's." So go to the Macy's website and you will not find a single Countess Mara tie. Go to the Countess Mara store locator site (called Save The Gentleman) and enter my zip code and be met with, "Sorry, there were no stores found within 50 miles of that zip code." They don't even give me the option to increase the search radius, never mind the fact that there are at least three Macy's stores within 50 miles of my home.

Then, a visit to the Countess Mara website shows more examples of how Countess Mara is letting the little things slip. There's this confidence-instilling paragraph (emphasis mine):

THE COUNTESS MARA BRAND HAS SUCESSFULLY ESTABLISHED ITSELF AS THE SPECIAL OCCASION SOLUTION FOR MEN OF DISTICTION. COUNTESS MARA’S VISION OF EUROPEAN STYLE AND CONDUCT HAS HELPED DEFINE THE MODERN AMERICAN GENTLEMAN.

A simple spellcheck, Countess.

How about this?

IT IS THE LITTLE THINGS THAT TRANSFORM THE MAN INTO THE GENTLEMAN. THE ORDINARY INTO THE DIGNIFIED.

True, I suppose. And just as true when it comes to your web presence (and that of your suppliers) and how it integrates with your print campaigns. It's the little things. You are selling what are likely high-end ties, more expensive than most, and you are choking on the littlest of things. And you just might be going out on interviews soon.

I Should Update the Microsoft Spellchecker

And simply click "add" so that this word doesn't get the red squiggly underline anymore. But I don't as a reminder that Google and Microsoft are mortal enemies, and that Microsoft purposely did not include the word "Google" in their dictionary because they hate them that much. Maybe subsequent versions gave in, but I'm sure the hate is still just as real.

Resistance is futile, Ballmer.

And speaking of rivalries and things Microsoft hates, I used to be a die-hard PC guy, not willing to go along with the cultists who love their Macs so much that they have little Apple stickers on their cars, but as my gig at CubeWorld^TM comes to an end next week, I realize how much I will miss my Mac. Mac is just way better, less prone to failure and far more intuitive. If I were working on the Mac campaign, my suggested tagline would be "Way better." But really, I will miss my Mac mostly for the Apple+shift+4 selective screen grab feature, which makes things like grabbing the above image so much easier, making blogging from work that much stealthier.

Arapaho Tribe Not Laughing

Spellcheck Next Time

This Houston protester...never mind.


via

Grammar Spammer

Hey, Spammy:

Good effort here, but the plural "schoolmates" was a tip-off. And I also don't remember eating lunch with a Darin Marshall in school. Hire a proofreader.

Very untruly yours,

Jetpacks













Previously: Annoying misspelling.