Denny's: It's Not Just For Drunk College Kids Anymore

Denny's wants to remind people that this is what breakfast is supposed to look like. It's not a muffin from Starbuck's. It's not a pair of greasy taquitos from 7-11. It's not a jelly-filled donut from Dunkin'. It's not a Pop-Tart, good as Pop-Tarts are. It's not last night's pizza, renamed "Italian Cheese Toast" so that you feel better about being a loser.

And Denny's wants to remind you that breakfast is a meal, the kind you sit down for, with a fork and everything. This is your grandpa's breakfast and it's cool again. Or should be. This is a farm breakfast, the kind that gets you fueled up and ready for a hard day of work sitting at your computer searching YouTube. So won't you please come into Dennys and at least give it a try?

Denny's will offer this breakfast free to everyone tomorrow from 6 am to 2 pm. That is a major promotion, but it's not really a gamble. Under the unspoken guise of "We're just looking out for you in these tough economic times" is a solid strategy. You'll also order coffee and juice and the cost of the meal will be covered. Denny's thinks you'll say to yourself, "Damn. Now that was a breakfast," and they hope you'll come back again.

It's not cool to like Denny's among a certain set. Denny's is considered white-trash and low-brow, where some junkie-cook with hepatitis is going to spit in your food and a surly, old, fat lady named Mabel will refill your coffee with a splash that suggests she once had a kid who looked like you and she's glad that kid is gone.

I don't mind a Denny's. I haven't been to one in a long time, but Denny's doesn't bother me. It's nice to know that if I want a classic breakfast at 11 pm on Christmas night, Denny's will serve it up. I hope their promotion tomorrow is a success and that people who've been eating on the run will rediscover the pleasure of making time for a morning meal. Sadly, what I think will happen is that Denny's will be overrun with bargain hunting vagabonds and bag ladies, scaring off the potential new customers as they drive by.