Redesigning the US Flag

I grew up in a very patriotic household, and flag respect was taught at an early age. For example, “If the flag touches the ground it is required that we burn it,” or “The flag will never be flown at night unless it is illuminated,” and “The flag shall not be worn as a bandana, t-shirt or any other article of clothing.” (And those were Mom's rules. Dad's were even more stringent.) But even with all that built-in respect, I find that I hate the American flag.

Now, before you get your patriotic panties all in a wad, allow me to clarify: I think the design of the US flag is hideous. It’s the world’s most tasteless and gaudy flag design. What were they thinking when they came up with this thing? Besides the fact that it is “star spangled” (the gayest term ever) it’s also off balance. In some instances it can actually look like it’s being displayed backward. We’re accustomed to seeing the blue part on the left, but when it’s on the right sleeve, or on the right side of an airplane, the blue is on the right. (The reason they do this is that the flag must never look like it is in retreat; it is always displayed moving forward, as into battle.) And what happens if we add more states some day? We gonna make room for more stars in the blue field? Stupid idea to add stars every time you add a state. And thirteen red and white stripes? Dumb. Looks like peppermint.

So, let’s fix it. I’m calling for entries. Send them to jetpacks(at)gmail(dot)com. Here’s mine.














UPDATE: Dad weighs in. "uh oh .....touchy subject! I would imagine you'll get some responses! Personally I like the design...maybe because I grew up with it...but I think it's the best looking flag out there. And adding a star for a state? That's dynamic! "